Is this weird?

[Gina23701]

I don't how to subject this, so I'll just say it.

 

My ex and I are civil and hanging out, sorta. We had lunch on Sunday. He initiated lunch on Sunday and he knows that my daughters come with me for weekend lunch dates. I'm sure he is dating other people as I do not feel like we are exclusive. I'm okay with it for now. Prior to our break up he used to call me everyday. Now I might get a text msg about plans for this upcoming weekend but I don't get to hear how his life is. It might be because he is sharing it with other people and he knows I do not want details?!?! Sunday was our first time seeing each other as we were NC for 7 weeks. I had a tummy tuck and was looking right cute (everyone notices-not bragging) but he did not say anything. (Again, I know it's noticeable because I have other people asking me out or giving me a second look).

 

One would think it is a FWB relationship right? So why does he like to have lunch with me and my daughters. He pays for it all and at the most walks away with a hug from me. (I don't show much affection in front of my girls - he's ok with it). Why do you think he likes having lunch and paying for it, with my girls involved? We see each other every two weeks. We are spending sometime together one day next week. We haven't had sex and I really cannot have sex with him without emotional attachment.

 

I'm babbling, but please give your insight to this!

Thx

[Tanzi]

Perhaps he still feels attached to you and your daughters, even if its not in an emotional way. How long were you together?

[Gina23701]

Altogether, about a year.

[hpinky]

Hello there. I am just wondering, how did you guys end up breaking up? It does sound like he has attachment to you guys but you have to be careful because your girls are involved. It sounds like he wants to stay in your life, are you ok with that? Him not commenting on your appearance is probably a facade he's trying to pull to make it seem like he's not noticing.

[Tanzi]

Yes I was wondering why you broke up, What are you hoping to achieve from your meet ups? Did you want to get back together?

[lucasky]

Some people can't just say "I made a mistake and I want you back". They may not be sure if they feel that way - or they may not be sure if YOU feel that way. The easiest way to get back together in these cases is to start off by going on little dates, seeing how things go, feeling eachother out. In these cases, reconciliation does and can happen, and I've seen it too many times to count (really).

 

That being said, I've also seen a lot of people that have been dragged through the mud because they thought things we're leading to reconciliation while the ex thought it was simply friendly. I guess that's why you feel things out - take it slow - that way you have time to get a read on the other person.

 

Actually... I don't think I know of a single reconciliation that was "successful" where an ex begged for the OP back.

[Gina23701]

I'm not really sure why we broke up, other than the fact that I thought he was pulling away from me. I thought he was playing games with me. So I accused him of lying over something stupid and told him off. He tried to call me, but honestly I was afraid that harsh words would have been spoken (we've never gone there, but he can be harsh) and I did not want to end up hating him. So a week later, I sent him a msg apologizing for not being woman enough to answer the phone and discuss things. I told him I was not looking for anything out of it, except to apologize. He then told me that he could not continue with our relationship. I knew it was over for good, but then he contacted me last week. I don't know why.

 

As for my girls, the only time he is ever around them is when we meet for lunch. I'm really funny about letting my girls get close to anyone, because I don't want them to think I am finding a repacement for their Dad (who is still in their life). So he does not come over to the house and hang out with us, because I do not allow it. I just don't feel like draggin my girls into a relationship if I am not too sure. Yes we meet for lunch, but I do meet several friends (guys and girls and sometime spouses) for lunch with them, so to them, this is nothing out of the norm.

[hpinky]

Do you wan reconciliation with him? Did you guys discuss anything about your relationship?