How to know when your not bitter anymore? Guidance?

[blackhawks1287]

I don't know. I recently just read someones response to someone looking to date after a relationship. And they said when there is no more bitterness etc.

 

I don't feel vindictive at all and I don't hate her. It is hard for me to go as far as saying I forgive her, because lying and infidelity (emotionally cheating) are hard to forgive when you are in a mentality of an exclusive relationship. I don't hate her or dislike her for what she did, but I don't think it was right even if there were issues at the time. Whether it be communication, closeness, intimacy, romance.

 

FORGIVING her is hard, but I do not hold a grudge, it is our fault, hers and mine that led to this. But I am not angry or upset about it. I think in the process of forgiving her, it will also be a process of forgiving myself.

 

I feel though having blocked her out of my life feels like a bitter thing to do. Such as blocking her and some of her friends on facebook (I know...social media the DEVIL) I get it. But if you guys can understand what I mean. I feel like that is a wall I put up because of anger and bitterness ya know? So leaving it up makes me feel subconsciously that I am still bitter in a sense when I do not think I am.

 

I am in a good place. I would like to start dating but nothing serious with intent. I have been dating, and have been with a few girls, but I got it out of my system now. I also made and in the process of making a bucket list while I am embracing singledom of things that I want to knock out. Skydive, bungee, being more social (more friends), very random things. Also playing the sports that I didn't play as much or stopped.

 

I need help to elaborate what I am trying to say, and if unblocking the blocked with help relive this sense of bitterness, but I do not want it to seem weak if that makes any sense? I am kind of torn between what I feel and how I should be feeling...just looking for guidance.

[blackhawks1287]

I don't know, i guess thinking about this after venting is probably giving me an excuse to unblock her....

 

Just need to stay strong and not buy into these little personal minds games lol

 

I am actually laughing about it now that I felt the need to write that out...because I really don't feel bitter really...and my mind is just making excuses I think to have a reason to hit the unblock button....

[Honesty]

If you unblocked her and saw that she was in a relationship with someone, or had pictures up with other men, how would you feel?

[reidqa]

Blackhawk,

 

You got to have soul flush, I had mine in Vegas sought of soul freeing time.

 

Picture every man's desire for 7 days did just that, coming home I was bitter clean ready to start new life.

 

Write me for advice.

[blackhawks1287]

Haha she left me for someone else, so I already know that she may or may not still be with him. I have seen pictures of them too....So as far as being hurt by any further evidence? not likely and I am over that.

 

and reidqa I sent a pm.

[RealCity19]

I am having the exact same problem. I can't seem to move on. If you get some good advice please share with me.