Silenetwolf Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Hi, I am on my third marriage. My second marriage ended after 15 years, when my wife told me she met a guy on the Internet. I have been with my current wife for 11 years. I came home on Monday night to find out she left me and went back home in another state. My entire life has been one rejection after the other and when my second wife left me, I finally broke down. I was in the hospital for four days and was told that it was a miracle I held it together as long as I did. They also warned me that I could not handle another rejection. I was deathly afraid of committment and I still am, but I fell in love with my current wife and we got married in 2000. I am 52 and I have no one to talk to, no family, no friends. I look back on my life and have come to two conclusions, one or both of them have to be true. Either God hates me, and/or I am one of those people who are put on this planet for the soul purpose of having their heart broken. I wish I could find the words to say how bad I am hurting right now and also to find the words to say how much I love my wife. Link to comment
charity Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 why have you no friends? and why are you hurting so bad? you have a wife whom you love dearly.the rest of the stuff is way in the past and those relationships lasted a long time. am i missing something here? Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I'm so sorry for your pain I can't think of one person who has not felt alone at some points in their life. Did your wife give you any reason or indication towards why she went back home?? Where are your family and friends? Try talking to a counselor.....they are often a bit better then friends or family anyway, as they can give neutral, unbiased advice. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I'm sorry for your pain Silenetwolf... I think this is perfect time to soul-search and really figure out why it is you choose women who ultimately leave you OR you need to see how your behaviours affect the relationship and why your spouses didn't want to stay. I think it would be a great idea to go speak to a counselor. You said you do not have friends, family to speak to and you need to speak to someone. God doesn't hate you. God wants you to be happy and you are on a specific path to get there. Now is the time to figure out where YOU fail in relationships.. it could be communication, intimacy, making others feel loved, etc... who knows! You need to figure it out. After a recent breakup, I wondered the same.. and I understood that in these relationships, it was ME that was the common denominator and I couldn't just play victim.. I had to figure out how to be a better human being so I could be a better partner in the future. A lot of counselors will work on a sliding scale if money is an issue. Good luck to you. Link to comment
charity Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 why have you no friends? and why are you hurting so bad? you have a wife whom you love dearly.the rest of the stuff is way in the past and those relationships lasted a long time. am i missing something here? i apologise, i misread your post. i thought you were still with your third wife. i'm so sorry for your pain. maybe its time to try being happy on your own. it works for me. read, write, go out , do stuff, join things, meet people. not romantic relationship but friendship!! way less stressful then relationships. of course all in good time. first you have to feel this pain and get through it, then start to work on yourself. Link to comment
Silenetwolf Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 why have you no friends? and why are you hurting so bad? you have a wife whom you love dearly.the rest of the stuff is way in the past and those relationships lasted a long time. am i missing something here? Yes I love my wife dearly, but she has left me. My family is all gone, I lost my dad in 1992 and my mom in 2006. We don't have friends because we never went anywhere to make friends. Link to comment
Silenetwolf Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 There are no words to describe how bad I hurt, I can hear her voice, I can hear her laughter, I can still see her. I can't even close my eyes because every little bump i here I think it is her, and the visions are excrutiating. I just wish she would call me so I could tell her how much I love her, miss her and need her in my life. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Were there any arguments or major disagreements prior to her leaving?? Link to comment
jaywalk Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 "I am 52 and I have no one to talk to, no family, no friends. I look back on my life and have come to two conclusions, one or both of them have to be true. Either God hates me, and/or I am one of those people who are put on this planet for the soul purpose of having their heart broken" I would add a third...there is something here that you need to learn and have yet to do so. There is a common thread in all your relationships that only you can see and learn from, which is why these things keep happening. While its easy to get down on yourself given your circumstances, try not to spend anytime alone if you can help it. There has to be children neices or nephews or something of the like in your world. Depression really sets in when people isolate themselves. Link to comment
Silenetwolf Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 We have no children, my nephews and nieces want nothing to do with me. We never were that close to begin with. It has been years since I spoke to any of them. Link to comment
jaywalk Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I guess keeping up with your siblings is out of the question then too? You know what? You're only 52, you've still got alot of life to live. You need to get out and get active. Try kayaking or something like that that will put you in a similar place as other people doing similar things. Go offer to take a neighbor fishing or something, become a mentor, surely you have something to teach people. Become more active in your church or if you aren't a part of one...join one. All sorts of ways to meet people. Link to comment
ToF Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Have you considered finding a good therapist ("good" meaning one that works well for you), and really trying to work out a lot of these confusing, painful issues? This is A LOT for one person to handle on their own.. So I think it'd be really beneficial for you to see someone, even if only to talk about everything that's happened. Link to comment
Silenetwolf Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 It is 430 here on the east coast, I still have not talked to my wife and I am becoming physically ill over this. I tried to eat something but it hurt physically. Her mother says it is up to her if she will talk to me or not. She is supposed to get there by 8 pm CST. Even then I am not sure she will talk to me. I just don't know what to do. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 There is something else going on here. Do you feel comfortable sharing, because you know something is missing from this story. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 We don't have friends because we never went anywhere to make friends. Why didn't you ever go out anywhere? Was this by choice? Were you both reclusive? If not, maybe that's why your wife left because there was so much missing in your marriage? Link to comment
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