Breaking Ties

[Pny]

It's been about 3 weeks now. Can't lie I did try to call him and either he didn't answer the phone. Or he was very mean. I want him to get his mail trasferred to where he lives and he has not done that as of yet. I wanted him to transfer the cable into my name by signing this paper. He still has not done that. When I asked him. We got into a heated argument and he said that he was going to tell the cable company to turn the cable off. He. Still has not done that. I am hurting. Don't know if I'm jus being petty. But I feel that if he is comfortable where he is staying. And has someone else. Which my heart tells me he does. Why won't he just take care of these small things. Even seeing mail for him. Hurts. Sounds lame but it does. Why won't he do these things. And why when I asked him too. He was so mean. I been through enough. Why would he continue to allow a bill in his name at my house.

[lukeb]

He should tell the cable company to turn the cable off, if it is in his name. If you want cable then get cable. Return the mail undeliverable. Like you said, these are small things. There really isn't a need to call him, or contact him anymore for any reason. He is mean to you because he wants to be left alone and as hard as that is that is what you should do.

[Pny]

Thank you for responding. It is hard. Very hard. I know the relationship has never been any good for me. But it is so hard to let go. I'm trying.

[Cuppedia]

Hello Pny.

 

I read your other post and it's very sad that you have dealt with so much.

 

You have to remember that you're the one in charge, if there is a problem there will always be a solution that YOU can use. You can't keep expecting him to do things he's completely incapable of, and the more he lets you down the more you might end up feeling it was your fault (which it isn't).

It might sound radical but you should start acting like he doesn't exist, don't ask for anything, don't talk to him, you don't need him and you're going to be fine without him.

 

Perhaps you feel like he's abandoning you or like you are no longer deserving of his attention but this is not true, you deserve better and trust me, nothing can be better than breaking free of a person like him.

Abusive people want you to believe you are worthless without them, that you have to keep accepting their attacks to prove that you are good for them, this is a horrible way to control a person and you don't have to do this, you are important and somebody else's opinion is never going to be as important as yours.

 

You already know that your life was different before him and that this is not what you want, so that's what you have to look forward to: finding yourself again and rebuilding what you had.

 

Be strong, you can do this.

[Pny]

At cuppedia... Thank you so much. For your response. Been through so much. First time I could ever get that out. Holding in for so long. Think I was so used to living in a world of pain that I forgot what it felt like to be happy. That I'm actually scared to be happy. Idk. I guess I just wanted him to have a conscious. But he doesn't. Jus makes me wonder all the time how can a human being behave this way. Hurt a lot.

[Cuppedia]

That's what we're here for Pny, this forum really has a lot of people who will always listen to whatever you want to say.

And as I mentioned before, part of why it hurts how he's behaving is because you think he's a normal person when he's in fact a terribly damaged human being, his actions are not going to follow a moral code like the one you or most people have, he only cares about himself but gives just enough to keep being allowed to take advantage of others.

 

But ultimately he's irrelevant, just try to focus more on your needs, and be very patient because it does take a while to get over a break-up, even more if there was abuse in the relationship.

 

Take care.