Am I sounding demanding?

[rockerstar]

Hi All...I'm wondering if I'm sounding too demanding? I've been going out with this guy for a little over a month...and when we spend some alone time together...because we're both novices at things....and I'm even trying to determine what I like and not...I tend to say to him "I like it when you " to try and encourage him to continue doing it (e.g. I like it when you caress me while kissing me). I've done it a few times now but I'm wondering whether I'm now at the point where I'm starting to sound too demanding? I did ask if there was anything he wanted me to do and he just replied "whatever you want" and I was like "I don't know I'm just winging it..."

But I'm afraid I might be becoming one of "those" women...am I?

And how can I compliment him when he does something I like without sounding like that?

Thanks.

[He2Him]

Simple rule of life. If you want something, ask for it, because otherwise you might never get it.

And another, just as important, rule. Don't seek approval of your actions from others, your actions define your life. Not theirs.

 

So stop worrying and take all you can. No need to invite any stupid feelings of shame or worry about it. True, people will get jealous of the way you'll live, but let their jealousy eat them alive and laugh at their littleness as you go. ;-)

[rockerstar]

Simple rule of life. If you want something, ask for it, because otherwise you might never get it.

And another, just as important, rule. Don't seek approval of your actions from others, your actions define your life. Not theirs.

 

So stop worrying and take all you can. No need to invite any stupid feelings of shame or worry about it. True, people will get jealous of the way you'll live, but let their jealousy eat them alive and laugh at their littleness as you go. ;-)

 

Wow that is an intense point of view. Wishing I could be that confident...

But I've read along the way that you shouldn't sound too "I want you to do this...I want you to do that...", otherwise he might lose interest in you.

[mouseno4]

It depends. At least for me it does. The wording could probably mean a lot of difference. Simply saying 'do this do that' will very much sound demanding if a girl said that to me. It would annoy me quite a lot. What i would enjoy hearing, is the why behind it. Giving me a very good reason to want to do it. "I like it when you caress me while kissing me" is a perfect example of how to phrase it, instead of just 'caress me'. Yes, ask for what you want, dont demand it. That is how you can appear to be confident but not demanding.

 

Of course, mix up the words a bit or you will appear like a typewriter! ROFL! "It feels amazing when you do [insert something really wicked cool here!]''.

[rockerstar]

It depends. At least for me it does. The wording could probably mean a lot of difference. Simply saying 'do this do that' will very much sound demanding if a girl said that to me. It would annoy me quite a lot. What i would enjoy hearing, is the why behind it. Giving me a very good reason to want to do it. "I like it when you caress me while kissing me" is a perfect example of how to phrase it, instead of just 'caress me'. Yes, ask for what you want, dont demand it. That is how you can appear to be confident but not demanding.

 

Of course, mix up the words a bit or you will appear like a typewriter! ROFL! "It feels amazing when you do [insert something really wicked cool here!]''.

 

Ah...okay...phew...I wasn't sure...I don't want to put him off. I didn't think of that!! Mixing it up...I might try that line next time. Thanks.

[capilot]

"I want to try something -- turn over" is a pretty good way to frame it.