KJ2008 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 So, I met this girl that I really like but don't know if she feels the same way about me as I do her. We met for drinks last night and have texted all day and flirted a little. She invited me over tonight and we watched "old school", and when I left I kissed her on the teach and she didn't refuse or anything. I'm really shy when it comes to this stuff and was wondering if asking her through a text message is stupid.. I guess I'm scared of rejection but also wouldn't want to make a situation awkward in person. I was thinking of sending her this text. "This might seem lame, but I'm REALLY shy when it comes to this stuff..but I really like you and like spending time with you and I'm just wondering if you are feeling the same as I do" Link to comment
Williamson Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 It's really up to you, depending a lot on your age (younger = more digitalized, older = vice versa) I'd say it's ok for your to send that. I personally would recommend setting up a date and seeing if this wasn't a like flirt for a day or two. I would ask her in real life just because, for me, it would appear to her to you are more confident you two would succeed. I'm not gonna act like I'm not a coward myself at times but hey, give it go! Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 If i were in your shoes (*death by gas*), i would not send her a text message. You know why? BECAUSE it is cheap, easy and says everything you want to say within a few well chosen words. You can change it, reform it, reword it and make every single word sound correct. And it takes almost ZERO guts to ask a girl out or how she feels in a text message. I doubt any girl would be impressed by being asked important questions via text message. In person or not at all. And no you dont blurt a question out just as you would a text message. Phrase a question so that it gives her the option to reject or accept an offer or your feelings question. Here is what i would say to her face: "I enjoyed my time doing [whatever it was] [whenever it was] with you. If you are interested, we can do [insert another activity] on [insert date]." This provokes the girl to respond with her feelings and if she would be interested in doing more of whatever. Link to comment
Williamson Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 It's almost as if the text takes the human element of imperfection out of the equation, which is a definite turn-off for most. Link to comment
rkw Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I agree with mouse, ask her on another date. Then you can gauge whether she's still showing all those positive signs of liking you back, and tell her in person. I'm sure she'll be really flattered and pleased if you tell her in person. Maybe when you drop her off at home just say something like "Well today was fun. I hope we can do something like this again because I really like you". If you get a bit flustered and shy, don't worry, girls like it when they can see you're emotional, it means you care. Good luck!! Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Girls somehow like guys who take the huge risk of doing the asking - handing the girl your heart literally. She can choose to slice it in two, or caress it gently. Obviously one is really painful, and the other is like being stone cold in the snow before entering a really nice and warm house. That rush of relief when you find out the feelings are mutual... (yep sorry cant really explain that) If you really care about her, you need to take that risk. Pretty much everyone has to do it! Every once in a while, so does a girl! Link to comment
He2Him Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Girls somehow like guys who take the huge risk of doing the asking - handing the girl your heart literally. Proof? Where does this come from. How do you know what GIRLS like? I'm amused, yet scared of misleading information you're spreading in such a certain tone without choosing your wording carefully. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Proof? Where does this come from. How do you know what GIRLS like? I'm amused, yet scared of misleading information you're spreading in such a certain tone without choosing your wording carefully. Well I am a girl and I will say that I find it extremely endaring for a guy I am interested in to ask me out in person. Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Well I sent her that text and haven't heard from her..lol did I scare her off you think? Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 I was thinking of calling her tonight and seeing if she wanted to go out for drinks or something tomorrow night. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Calling is better than texting. Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 I'll try and call her tomorrow on my lunch. After that I probably struck out huh? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Tis ok either way. Plenty of fish! Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Now, my friends that I've talked to said that if I contact her soon I may look desperate, clingy, or be pushing her..is that valid in this situation? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Just contact her when you feel comfortable. Don't overthink it. Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Ok, well she got back to me and this is how the conversation went: Her - hey, i'm sorry i have been a butthead and haven't responded. i just kinds freaked out because i'm not sure if i am ready to jump into anything with anyone right now. Me - It's ok and I figured I might have freaked you out a bit. I wasnt looking to jump into anything, I just enjoy your company Her - i enjoy your company as well, i just wanted to be on the same wavelength and i was nervous to txt you back. my bad Thoughts on how I handled it? She jut got out of a relationship (as did I) so I understand her reasons not to jump into anything. Does is sound like she likes me and being around me and just wants to take it slow or is she just looking for friends? Do I ask her this next time we meet up just to be sure where we both stand? Thanks ENA Link to comment
KJ2008 Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Ok, well she got back to me and this is how the conversation went: Her - hey, i'm sorry i have been a butthead and haven't responded. i just kinds freaked out because i'm not sure if i am ready to jump into anything with anyone right now. Me - It's ok and I figured I might have freaked you out a bit. I wasnt looking to jump into anything, I just enjoy your company Her - i enjoy your company as well, i just wanted to be on the same wavelength and i was nervous to txt you back. my bad Thoughts on how I handled it? She jut got out of a relationship (as did I) so I understand her reasons not to jump into anything. Does is sound like she likes me and being around me and just wants to take it slow or is she just looking for friends? Do I ask her this next time we meet up just to be sure where we both stand? Thanks ENA Link to comment
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