How often do you see your BF/GF?

[ashley001]

I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 months. We're both in college, but now that it's summer, we obviously have a lot more free time to see each other. So my question is, how often do you see your boyfriend/girlfriend? I've always heard that you shouldn't be too available, see each other too much, etc.

 

Today is Tuesday--we saw each other last Saturday, yesterday, today, and he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with him tomorrow night. Is that too much? The thing is is that I am free and would love to go to dinner with him, but I feel like we should wait a few days to do it?

[Williamson]

Actually, as long as you keep it healthy, I don't see a problem with being around each other in "excess." My girlfriend and I get together about twice a week (during the school year) but during the summer it can be from 2 weeks to 2 days apart. If you are both willing to keep seeing each other at this frequency there's nothing wrong with it!

 

I have one questions though, are you asking this question due to a social norm, or to preserve your relationship? Just curious.

 

 

 

-Best of luck!

[ashley001]

Actually, as long as you keep it healthy, I don't see a problem with being around each other in "excess." My girlfriend and I get together about twice a week (during the school year) but during the summer it can be from 2 weeks to 2 days apart. If you are both willing to keep seeing each other at this frequency there's nothing wrong with it!

 

I have one questions though, are you asking this question due to a social norm, or to preserve your relationship? Just curious.

 

 

 

-Best of luck!

 

A little bit of both actually--I don't want to get sick of each other, so to speak, and I also have a bit of the social norm in mind

[Williamson]

Gotcha, well if it helps think of it like a progression towards a more serious relationship (like super serial.) I see alot of times people worried about how things turned out for others when they are very specific instances.

[MadxMythMadame]

Seeing him tomorrow? Well, why not, right?

 

I think it's just about finding the balance between boyfriend time and your time. What I liked about my last relationship was that we were both fairly, socially active people with separate friends here, mutual friends there - which made it easy to not be with each other all the time, but also have some time. I think it's okay to see him as often as you'd like, as long as you know where his comfort level is. It's almost always about communication. If you need a few days to yourself, let him know.

[lilxcutie53]

I kinda think the same way too Ashley. Basically, what I've figured out for myself is to not be available every night of the week. When my bf and I had time earlier on when we were dating (we both work full time..so its a little bit harder to see eachother everyday) I'd make sure I was available like 4-5 times during the week. and then leave 2 days for the both of us to do what we wanted. I thought that helped our relationship balance out because it gave us 2 days to "miss" eachother so to speak. Just make sure that you keep yourself some what independent from him and have your own life. Don't sacrifice not hanging out with your friends because you want to hang out with him. If theres one day that your busy and he's not theres always the next day or you two can communicate a day in the week that your both free or hadn't made plans for yet. Hope this helps

[TakingtheBlame]

I see my boyfriend (in our early 30s, 7 months together) two to three times a week, on average. This suits me (and him) just fine. As some of the posters above have said, it's about balance. Try not to make your boyfriend the focus of your life, which should come naturally when you have a full, balanced life to begin with. I find that work and at least one or two personal hobbies take up most of my free time. Right now I work a pretty demanding job and I am training for a marathon; the job takes up majority of my weekdays (obviously) and the marathon training eats up about 3 weeknight evenings and a few hours of each weekend. Factor in catching up with my friends every now and then, and by the end of it I have sufficient but not crazy amounts of time to spend with my boyfriend...and luckily he shares that mindset so it's worked out extremely well for us. When I do actually have free time, he is always my priority, and obviously communication is key. If he ever said he was unhappy with the amount of time spent together in our relationship, I would do my best to compromise with him because I want him to be happy. To summarize, there is no "right" answer to your question...relationships are contracts between two consenting (and hopefully reasonable) adults, in which balance and communication play the biggest roles in determining what is acceptable and what is not.

[JerkBrokeMe]

From the first day we met we started dating and from that point on we saw eachother every single day (with rare exception) the whole time we were together. We lasted a little over 9 years. Maybe its not healthy, but it was how we liked it. Especially in the beginning. Laying around all day in eachothers arms and talking about everything under the sun. The first year I think we literally spent the whole time in bed. I can't imagine us wanting to limit our time together back then.

 

In my opinon its more about HOW you're spending the time than how much time. Towards the end of our relationship, I think part of the problem was we were still laying around doing nothing most of the time. By then he wanted us to go out and do things more often. But he wasn't very vocal about it until it was too late.