How soon after should you date?

[therebounded]

It might be a little late for me to ask this question, seeing as I have a date with someone tomorrow. I honestly don't think it'll progress any further past this initial meeting (it's sort of a blind date). I've conversed with the guy a couple of times through Facebook and texts, and he seems nice enough. Just not my type, exactly. It's been a month of NC for me (I went NC right away and didn't beg, plead, etc.) The relationship with the guy was around two months. I still really miss him and think of him on a daily basis, but I have utterly no desire to contact him at this point.

 

Should I go through with it? Will going through with it result in me being a hysterical mess after? Is it unfair to the new guy? Should I suck it up and make an actual attempt to meet people at this point?

[rkw]

Do you want to go on this date? If you have a few nerves, and a little anxiety but the answer is 'Yes' then you should! I think doubts are natural, but you might have a really good time and it will be nice to talk to someone new. I'm sure you won't dissolve into hysterics, and it's only unfair to the new guy if you talk about your ex or are too distracted by thoughts of your ex to pay any attention to him.

 

If deep-down, you know you definitely do not want to date right now and that you would be very uncomfortable, then yes, it's unfair to your date. You also say "he's just not my type, exactly". This could be a good thing, if for example, you usually go for the party guys and he's thoughtful and kind. It might be a positive that he isn't your type. But if there's something about his "type" that you could never accept (like drugs, run-ins with the police or maybe less dramatic things like religion), and it wont change, then again, re-consider the date. You still have time to call him and gently let him know that dating just isn't something your able to do right now.

 

Edit: As for the question, how soon after should you date again, I think it's a case by case thing, and really it's about how you're feeling on the inside.

[He2Him]

I honestly don't think it'll progress any further past this initial meeting (it's sort of a blind date)

 

If you think this, then cancel the date. What's up with you. You should approach things with open mind you never know what you might learn. Going for a date thinking it'll never get any further is WASTE of TIME.

[caseh]

I honestly don't think it'll progress any further past this initial meeting (it's sort of a blind date).

 

Go do it, could be fun! No one is really a fan of blind dates and such but i've heard some funny stories about them. Coincidentally i'm kinda doing a blind date tomorrow. Few weeks out of a relationship myself but don't see why I should put my life on hold and mope. Whats the worst that could happen, either we don't really get on and thats that or we end up being good friends or possible more.

[therebounded]

Thank you everyone for the replies. I’ve decided to go on the date. I will keep an open mind, I initially said what I said about not seeing a future past this first date, because the guy is out of my comfort zone, not my type, and I’m not sure we would gel well, but I’ll give it a go. Have fun on your blind date tomorrow, caseh!

[Live-N-Learn]

If you are not over you ex you should not go. If you go you will just be comparing him to the ex the whole night and feel worse after the date if it isn't what you expect.