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Today I feel hopeless. I thought I had everything figured out about my mental illness but as it turns out I do not.


I need to figure things out about myself and my life, that is the only way I am going to make it through. I all honestly I WOULD be homeless right now if it was not for living here at my mom's house. What would I be doing? Standing on the corner asking for money?


I have nothing to share, no big experiences to convey to a listener, no compassion in my heart.


After hearing my diagnosis that I am schizoeffective I did a lot of research and found out that your psychotic episodes cannot be a result of an illegal or prescribed legal medication. Which both of mine were. When I went to see Dr. Mariela I asked to be put on medication because I could not handle the pain of being on enotalone all of the time with no satisfaction for what I was receiving. I just wanted to feel good, and I stepped into a trap.

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