RecentlyAlone Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Just wondering if anyone has had personal experience where they just want to get blacked out to get someone off their mind. Don't worry, I'm not doing this or thinking about doing this but I'm just wondering. I'm not talking drinking every day or anything THAT bad but at least every weekend just getting as drunk as possible and partying to forget about your ex. How long does it help for? Just that night? Then I assume you'd feel bad in the mornings? Can anyone advise? Any thoughts on this? Link to comment
TheJerseyKid Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Alcohol is a depressent, so while it might feel nice when you are getting your "buzz" on, but once you cross that line, for me it'll enough make me think too much, over analyze, and more emotional. That, and it doesn't help you heal, it only prolongs the process. Link to comment
hausser Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Don't drink dude it can make you depresses as hell and see the break up in a completely different, negative way. Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I drink every day I'm not at work... I go out get drunk sleep around Come home listen to music and remember and cry...then I really drink till I just pass out. Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Just be sure you hide your cell phone so you don't drunk dial or text your ex. I no longer drink, but tried the drink-to-forget approach in the past. All it seemed to do was inflame my emotions, and lead to horrible behavior on my part. My most recent breakup, I have smoked pot a few times to try and change my perspective on things -- not to escape the thoughts, since I actually get more "up in my head" when I smoke. Jury's out on whether it was helpful, harmful, or neutral (probably that last one). Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Thanks for the responses. I know drinking to forget is definitely not for me but I do know lots who have or who do so wanted to know how it worked with the healing process. I'm sure its great being out with friends partying and not thinking about the person you're trying to forget...I'd just be real surprised if it didn't come back to bit you in the butt. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I don't think drinking to forget helps with the healing process at all, in fact, I would say it has the opposite effect and prolongs the hurt. A much healthier approach would be to maybe hit the gym and do lots of physical workouts - running, jogging, cycling etc etc. Not only is it much healthier, but at the same time it raises your self esteem too. All drinking does is make you feel lousy (the morning after) and make you look lousy too (imo). Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Has anyone else gone through his phase? Partying after a break up, not because you're happy to be out of the relationship, but just to forget about your ex? Link to comment
endy Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Yeah I've done it, and it just prolongs it. It's one thing to go out and party, have a few drinks on the weekend. It's another to constantly drown yourself in whiskey and country songs about your ex. Seriously don't do this. Go have a few social drinks loosen up once in awhile. Don't ever drink all weekend. When that sunday or monday comes you're going to be in for it. You'll feel depressed and it will fade but it will most likely turn into a cycle. Drinking heavily causes you to forget, but it also causes alcoholism. Something that will not make you a better person. I'll give you an example... Last weekend I got smashed. Didn't think about the ex much because I was having fun. Until I sobered up, felt a little depressed and started really being mind boggled again. There's healthy ways to deal with a breakup and unhealthy ways. Drinking is definitely not a healthy way. It takes the pain away temporarily, but if you keep doing it to take the pain away. You're going to have a way bigger issue in life than losing your ex. Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 I'm really not doing this or thinking about doing it. Pretty sure it's my ex's solution which is why I'm wondering how it effects the healing process. I know he's stuggling with the breakup as much as I am, can't eat, can't sleep, can't function properly, etc, but on the weekends I know he gets super drunk and during that time he's not thinking of me. He told me he did this when we went on a break a couple years ago as well. Link to comment
endy Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 If he's your ex why are you worried about what he is doing? What caused the breakup in the first place? You're the dumpee or the dumper? How long has it been and have you been in NC? Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Haha, that is exactly why I didn't explain why I was asking in my original post! I didn't want to be bombarded with people telling me he's my ex I shouldn't care It's been a month and a week and we broke up because I want kids and he doesn't. We were together for 5 years and still very much love each other which is why I was curious about this. Link to comment
token09 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Before the break up we were having problems. Come new year i always try and stay sober for a few months to detox. This year, i pretty much carried on from xmas and new year and drank every weekend. It didnt help our situation, even when i drank with her. I began to just look forward to seeing her at the weekends, and struggled through the week. Then, since we broke up, i have stayed sober only 1 weekend. I keep thinking it will help, i keep thinking this is the weekend where i'll break free from it all. No dice. What's being said above is 100% correct. I used to love calling her drunk and speaking to her on the phone for an hour at 3 in the morning (she did the same when she was out). One night a couple of weeks ago, i had had an awesome night out with friends, hadn't thought about her and just had fun. I got home, lay in bed and just started crying. It wasnt cool. At the start i went out to get drunk and see if i could find girls. I kissed a couple of girls one night, and it was horrible, so i've not even tried since. I go out to drown my sorrows and forget, but come sunday i have always text her and made things worse. I've spent a lot of money (£200 one week on drink). But i have learnt that i have a great group of friends. I have stopped going drinking as much when i am out the last couple of weeks, and spent more time enjoying the company of people around me. But the next few weekends see me traveling a lot (stag party, sports tour, wedding, conference) and so there is going to be a lot of drinking done. After that though, i plan to go sober for a while as i think it is the best way to be when your head is all over the place like this. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Drinking does not help long term and can cause you a lot of heartache short term. I went out got smashed and wrecked 5 cars over the past year due to my ex. You don't want to have to learn the hard way like I did that it only causes more suffering. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 As mentioned, drinking will just prolong your sorrow. Link to comment
f1r3f1y3 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 When I separated from my ex, my best mate said "I'll give you 2 weeks to feel sorry for yourself and that's it." Never forgot that. The only thing drinking is good for, is hitting rock bottom. Link to comment
endy Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 When I separated from my ex, my best mate said "I'll give you 2 weeks to feel sorry for yourself and that's it." Never forgot that. The only thing drinking is good for, is hitting rock bottom. That coming from a Scotsman is saying something. Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Thanks for the responses. I'm not claiming to be perfect, I drink, but if anything it's less since the break up. But no matter how much fun I have while out...it's still horrible waking up without him! I just hope he's dealing with things in others ways too, not just trying to forget. Link to comment
superfox Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Has anyone else gone through his phase? Partying after a break up, not because you're happy to be out of the relationship, but just to forget about your ex? I have and trust me, you don't forget! and you end up texting them or calling them or blah blah blah, ugly! I did split up with this one guy then went and had a one night stand* (he wanted me to meet his family, jeez!) which helped me enormously for my own self esteem and i moved on perfectly afterwards with all my ghosts laid to rest. *so shoot me Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 I have and trust me, you don't forget! and you end up texting them or calling them or blah blah blah, ugly! I did split up with this one guy then went and had a one night stand* (he wanted me to meet his family, jeez!) which helped me enormously for my own self esteem and i moved on perfectly afterwards with all my ghosts laid to rest. *so shoot me hey, whatever works! Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 drinking might numb the bad... but you can't numb bad without numbing good at the same time. this is the basis of addiction. and anyone who's been down that road knows what a sad existence it is. Link to comment
LCA1986 Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I never really did it excessively, but I realized that even when I drank socially it would make me feel a lot worse about my break ups. Since then, I have avoided drinking alcohol while going through a break up... still I have never been a big drinker anyway. Link to comment
nattpanter Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I don`t have a disposal for alcohol addiction...It regulates itself for me when I have had enough. So I must say, that the ability to go out and get drunk with friends in certain periods has been a huge relief to me. When I was in my early 20s I was going through a nasty breakup and I was pretty much out 5 days a week for 3 months. It gave me relief in the moment. The way I see it I would not find any relief if I just sat home and listened to sad music, so if I could get 6-8 hours of fun and get my thoughts off her I´d rather take that instead of nothing. But, you have to be aware that one day you have to take serious steps to move on, and that does not include alcohol... Link to comment
lonelyjo Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 It sounds like you have enough of your own healing to do. His methods don't sound like a healthier option. When bad things happen, I think we have a chance to come through our situation better than before, or worse, depending on how we cope. There are many, sometimes unexpected, places that help and hope can come from. I hope you find some good ones soon. Take care Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.707652b1f845175b2f35e03ba7f1673e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.