I can't believe how I let him treat me! Never again!

[-Sanguine-]

I read through the majority of my old threads this afternoon. Wow, what a mess! I'm sure a lot of you will remember my numerous threads about my ex, my insecurities, and my constant feelings of unwarranted guilt.

 

I cannot believe how long I let myself be treated like crap and how long I put up with his behaviour. In all honesty, I don't hold any hard feelings towards him (and it's not like I don't have some great memories with him) but I still can't believe I didn't have more self respect at the time. I put him first always and that left no one to care about me. I will never let that happen again. It's a vow to myself.

 

I let him cheat on me and took him back no question. In fact, I was scared he would end it with me. How pathetic. I don't think I could ever take a cheater back again. Ever.

 

And don't even get me started on his drinking! I am in disbelief re reading my posts, thinking all I went through. And for what?? Because my so called love for him was worth more to me than my own self respect... it's sad, really. But I had to start learning somewhere.

 

So glad I can look back today, turning 20 years old in a few days and know that I probably learned one of the hardest lessons I'll have to learn and I won't have to go through that ever again if I don't want to. You guys all gave me advice here and I didn't take any of it. I just let myself keep going through so much and I'm so glad that I didn't take him back when he begged me too. I can see so clearly now everything that went wrong. Going to counselling for those few months definitely helped.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to post something positive. I feel great today. I met someone awesome and I think something really good might come out of it... but I am not scared because I know that if there is ever a moment I am being treated in a way that I don't deserve I can drop him and still be fine on my own. I feel like I can't be hurt again because this time I am in control of my life and I don't ever have to put up with being treated like crap again! So refreshing

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like you've learned a lot, and you're now in a much better place.

 

Congrats, and all the best!

[-Sanguine-]

It sounds like you've learned a lot, and you're now in a much better place.

 

Congrats, and all the best!

 

Thanks

Let's hope I never need a review of this lesson.

[stuka80]

but I am not scared because I know that if there is ever a moment I am being treated in a way that I don't deserve I can drop him and still be fine on my own. I feel like I can't be hurt again because this time I am in control of my life and I don't ever have to put up with being treated like crap again! So refreshing

 

easier said than done. hope you have the strength though when it does get to that point

[-Sanguine-]

easier said than done. hope you have the strength though when it does get to that point

 

True. It is much easier said than done. I am hoping that by saying all that it will make me stick to my word! lol, plus I'm hoping it won't get to that point.

[elcie]

Even if you do get hurt again, each experience adds to the journey of self-discovery.

 

For the same reason, don't be too hard on yourself when you look back on past relationships. Each "mistake" you made was done because you loved someone.