At 25, I feel like I'm going nowhere...

[Sirquacksalot]

So, short story long I guess, I'm now 25, turning 26 next month.

 

I did a bachelors degree in Anthropology (yep, I'm that guy who listened to old who said 'Son... just do what you love to do!'), which not surprisingly is probably worse than not doing any degree at all. Credit Card debt: ~ 10,000

 

So I finished that up, and landed a job in the same town I went to university in. Supposed to be a temp job, just to make rent until I could move out of this nowhere place, but that was 3 years ago. About two years ago, work offered to pay for a business degree, so I figured 'well, I'm here, and the economy is , so why not'. Didn't think it'd take me more than 2 years to complete the required courses. Now I'm 2 years in, and looking at another two years. Current debt: ~25,000.

 

I've been single for 4 years now, and struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts on occasion. Seems like nobody'll date someone who's flat broke and works 60 hours a week on the overnight, then goes to school during the day. I just feel so trapped in this small town where it seems like every turn I take is the wrong one and I wind up owing more money to the banks, barely making ends meet with my current job.

 

Friends tell me to 'just give it up and move out west' or 'you just need a change of scenery! Get a job somewhere else!' Well, that's all well and good, but how am I supposed to do that with no technical/specialized qualifications, and no money to support a move with?

 

I really don't want to become that office drone statistic, but how do I get myself out of this situation?

 

Does anyone have any suggestions about getting work lined up in a different city before I commit to moving there? It seems like every employer I talk to won't do phone interviews or even consider me when they find out I don't already live there.

[hausser]

You definatley need to move, like me. I am in the same boat as you.

[FathomFear]

Hey,

 

I was in a similar situation about eight years or so ago. I had 40/50k in debt, graduated with a BA (also from a university in NB), and did eventually take the path of moving home for a while and getting an office job to help pay it off.

 

I originally had the same reservations about becoming an "office drone" and living the life you see in Dilbert comics. I will say, though, that working in an office is very good experience. You learn how to manage projects, people, network with others, and pull various strings to get things done. The skills you develop in an office will help you later if/when you decide to pursue something more in line with your true passions.

 

As far as getting guaranteed work before moving to a city, that used to be something you could easily do in places like Calgary but I don't think it's as easy these days. You pretty much need to take the plunge, move, and then job hunt like crazy.

[beachbum642]

I dont know if moving is the answer. But you can find a second job to help you to pay off your debt. Have you ever spoke to your parents about help with money. Or thought about moving into a place where the rent will be cheaper to help you pay off the things that you need. Sometimes you have to sit down and look at the whole picture before just jumping into doing something.

[Sirquacksalot]

I dont know if moving is the answer. But you can find a second job to help you to pay off your debt. Have you ever spoke to your parents about help with money. Or thought about moving into a place where the rent will be cheaper to help you pay off the things that you need. Sometimes you have to sit down and look at the whole picture before just jumping into doing something.

 

All good advice, but just not for my situation.

Sadly, I already work 60 hours a week at my job which doesn't leave much time at all for school, let alone a second job. My parents are in absolutely no financial situation to help me, as they're also struggling with making ends meet. If I get in a jam now and then and need 100$ to cover groceries, they can scrape that together, but that's realistically about it. As for rent, I already have a roommate where we pay 400$ each, power included. To be honest, cheaper doesn't exist.

 

FathomFear: That's what people keep telling me, but I just can't do it. Right now, my bank account is 385$ overdrawn. I calculate that to move to somewhere like Calgary or BC, I'd need first and last months rent, plus deposit (lets say 2000 if I get really lucky and find somewhere cheap), then moving costs or costs of buying new furniture = 2000. Then I've got to support myself for, again if I got lucky, 2 months or so before I could land a job and start earning income. So, that's another 3000. Then just the cost of driving out there would be another 1000 in gas/expenses! Basically, to move somewhere new, I need a minimum of 8,000-10,000 saved to cover expenses alone, not including the minimum payments on my credit cards/car payments/stuff that I can't not pay.

 

To top it all off, I'm type 1 diabetic, meaning that I NEED a job with medical benefits or I'm sunk.

[He2Him]

Moving away is NOT the answer. The correct answer to your worries is to get your stuff together. Starting with yourself. What you're doing you're worrying too much, there are numerous reasons for worries and it's heavily affecting your thoughts, which in turn translate into words you speak, things you do and those provoke feelings of depression.

 

What you should do is... You start exercising regularly, you start eating healthy, if/then cut on drinking, smoking, whatever unhealthy habit you got. Cut loose all the negative influence. TV, Paper, Radio, people around you. You gotta rebuild yourself.

You focus on stuff around you job, school, love life, while forgetting yourself. And that's where all the troubles stem from and all the change begin.

Literally.

[FathomFear]

Yeah, unless you have friends/relatives in the destination city it will be very difficult to make a move without a decent amount of money saved up.

 

Given your situation I would recommend trying to find a job close to home and shack up with your parents for at least a year. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's really one of the most efficient ways of getting yourself in order after immediately after graduating college/university with debt. While you essentially sacrifice independence for a year, it sure beats living on your own and barely getting by for 3-5 years as you trying to peck away at debt while dealing with rent/utilities/etc.

 

Outside of that, my only other suggestion would be try to network as much as possible. Chat up family members, former profs, etc--anyone you can to see if anyone can fast-track or guarantee you a job somewhere.

[FathomFear]

Also, here are a few other side suggestions:

 

- Dump the credit card debt, which likely has high interest, and look into replacing/consolidating it with a line of credit with a better rate. Carrying a balance on a credit card is usually a bad idea. If you're paying more than 6% you're getting robbed. Shop around and find a good rate.

- If you haven't already, apply for interest relief on your student loans. This will cease the monthly payments as well as stop interest from building up.

- Depending on the line of credit you're able to acquire, you could potentially use it as a buffer to make the move to another city depending on how much you'd have at your disposal

[Sirquacksalot]

You focus on stuff around you job, school, love life, you forgetting yourself. And that's where all the troubles stem from and all the change begin.

Literally.

 

I guess that is the problem. I have no love life, and no real prospects. Its a small town, and I'm not good with the ladies when there are any around let alone when the male population outnumbers the female 2/1.

School... just feels pretty meaningless. I mean, its a Bachelors Business Degree. Not really going to get me much more than the Anth degree I suspect. The only reason I'm even doing it is that work is paying for it.

And work... I have no real problem with it, its just a grind at the end of the day. It barely pays the bills, and there's nowhere to advance to. To top it off, since I'm in school, I'm prettymuch stuck on the night-shift.

So when I do focus on myself and my life, I just can't help but come away from it all with a sense of worthlessness about myself and a feeling of being trapped. I just think that starting fresh somewhere new would help me feel that sense of 'there must be something good out there' that I've lost by living here.

 

FathomFear: You do make a very good point. Its just that I'm 26. Moving in with my parents... just doesn't seem like an option to me. In fact, to move in with my parents would require me to move half-way accross the country as it is, to a city that I really loathe and don't think I could survive in (Toronto). I just worry that I wouldn't be able to get out of there once I'm there. Of course, the longer I wait, the more in debt I seem to fall, and the older I get. It is something to perhaps more seriously consider...

[Sirquacksalot]

Also, here are a few other side suggestions:

 

- Dump the credit card debt, which likely has high interest, and look into replacing/consolidating it with a line of credit with a better rate. Carrying a balance on a credit card is usually a bad idea. If you're paying more than 6% you're getting robbed. Shop around a find a good rate.

- If you haven't already, apply for interest relief on your student loans. This will cease the monthly payments as well as stop interest from building up.

- Depending on the line of credit you're able to acquire, you could potentially use it as a buffer to make the move to another city depending on how much you'd have at your disposal

 

Excellent advice. Except that I already have a maxed out 15,000 student line of credit which was supposed to take care of the tuition cost, plus the credit card debt. Of course, it got maxed out through multiple medical expenses, a series of legal battles with ex-roommates that I eventually won (but in the end, cost me bunches) and moving expenses, etc etc, and eventually it came down to 'get another credit card, or don't eat'. Now I'm sitting on the $15,000, $3750 @ 19.9%, and $5,000 @ 6%. Plus the car that I had to buy to get to and from work, since its located nowhere near the cheap apartment complexes and public transportation doesn't run at night. If I ever dig myself out, the first thing to go is the credit cards, but its seeming more and more like a pipe-dream...

 

Honestly, from recounting it I see that I should have graduated and moved back in with my father for a year. But, 22 year old me didn't know just how off-the-rails this was going to go I guess. He was optimistic, I remember...

[FathomFear]

Where in NB are you? I got my BA from Mount A.

 

And yeah, I completely understand the gut reaction to moving back with your parents. It sucks. Hard. But the alternative sucks more. While you gain the illusion of independence by living on your own, you rack up debt and struggle for years. Biting the bullet and living with family for a year or two would allow you to right yourself and move on. I moved in with my parents after graduating and was able to pay off my entire debt (around 50k) in just over two years. I have friends who had a similar debt load after graduating and are still struggling to pay it off.

[Sirquacksalot]

I'm in Fredericton right now, and got my degree through UNB.

 

Yeah, its something that I've always written off as not-possible. My father and I aren't super close, and he has no idea how much I'm in over my head here. So moving in with him would require that conversation, and likely a good bout of being told that I was a failure. But, in the end I know he'd take me in. We had a long conversation about it when I first graduated, but back then I dismissed the idea out of hand. Toronto would be better for jobs than Fredericton. I guess the more I look at it, the fewer options I seem to have if my goal is to get out of here and back on my feet.

[FathomFear]

I would definitely pursue that.

 

And hey, I'm not sure what kind of dynamic you have with your parents, but by the time I hit the age of 25 the parent/child relationship I had with my parents had pretty much disappeared. When I lived with my parents I did so as their equal. They didn't lay the whole "You're a failure" speech on me. They realized that we are living in a bad economy. Jobs are hard to come by, and the vast majority of people these days end up living with family at some point during their 20s.

 

Also, once you get to the point of getting your immediate debt under control, you'll be able to help him with expenses. He'll see benefit to the arrangement too. My only suggestion/caveat is that once you get your feet under yourself it can be very easy to grow attached to the arrangement. Stay long enough to put yourself in a good position but don't overstay your welcome and fall into a rut.

[FathomFear]

If it's any inspiration for you here was my timeline:

 

- Graduated in 2002 with almost $50,000 in student loans, $7,000 VISA and $4,000 Mastercard debt

- Moved in with my parents in 2003 after a failed attempted on living on my own with the above debt (starter jobs just would not cover monthly payents, rent, food, etc)

- Found a job in late 2003 in an office building. Moved up the chain over the next few years

- Started making monthly payments on my student loans in 2004 (I had applied for interest relief until then)

- Around six months later I had all of my credit card debt paid off

- By early 2006 I had all of my student loans paid off. I moved out around the same time

- I continue to rent as I do not wish to be tied down with a home/mortgage, but with some good investment choices (I was fortunate enough to buy stocks in 2008 when the market was at its lowest) I now have over 175k in liquid assets with no debt

 

Debt can certainly seem very overwhelming when you're buried in it, but you can work your way out of it with careful planning.

 

I would advise hitting up these forums: link removed -- lots of great advice on how to handle finances and debt. I scoured these forums like a hawk and it really helped me when I was in over my head. It's Canadian as well.

[Sirquacksalot]

Well, that is actually inspirational. All I can see when I think of my debt is a smothering, astronomical amount. But, put in context I have half of the debt-load that you did. I couldn't imagine trying to live under that. Kudos to you for changing things around so drastically.

 

I'm going to have to sit down and seriously look at what I need to do, and perhaps have that conversation with my father that I've been dodging for years.

 

Thank you for sharing your story and advice, and also most importantly giving me a plan that shows me some path out of the situation.

[Mercurial Girl]

I would get out of NB as soon as you can if I were you. Ideally to your parents while you secure some cash and pay off debts. Difficult to get anywhere with your career in NB.

 

I don't see why you think you need first, last months rent AND security deposit. You need first months rent and security deposit, which is equal to or less than one month's rent. Sure it would be nice to have a little cushion, but if it's going to hold you back for the longer term, figure it out when you get there.

 

You don't have any friends in any of the other "have" provinces whose couches you can crash on while you find employment? Also, you don't HAVE to live in your own apartment. There are TONS of rooms to rent and basements if you absolutely need more privacy, at $500 or less all-in (in Calgary) - if you can't find well paying work with lots of room for advancement in NB, get the heck out.

 

I make very little, I have $22k in consumer debt (cut up my credit cards and learned hard from crazy mistakes, plus some awful things happened to me to have gotten that far into debt, but anyway...), and climbing up to $30k in student loan debt (currently a student) and I manage to pay my minimums at least, have a car, 2 dogs, my own apartment, and I manage. It's tight, it's stressful, but I manage. I know though that there are tons of employment opportunities, min. wage is set to increase soon, and I'd rather be in near-poverty right now knowing that my situation will improve in a decently strong economy here (relative to the maritimes especially) rather than be stick around in NB without a way up and out. If I can work it, you can too.

 

You'll likely just continue spinning your wheels in NB, is all.

[pinkbriefcase]

You're not going nowhere. All you need to do is change gear and you're back on track. ^_*..You still have your life and it's not too late. ^_*...with your debts maybe do something to pay that off. Do freelance.. And please don't do ready credits anymore...that will just be your waterloo.

[pinkbriefcase]

Try doing freelance Sirquacksalot that would probably help you with your debts.

 

Hope that helps..

 

link removed

[90_hour_sleep]

what do you want to do? maybe you're like me, and you have no idea...aside from other peoples' expectations and beliefs about what you should be doing. there's no one way to go about life though...and what someone else thinks you should do -- no matter how well-informed -- doesn't necessarily dictate what's best.

 

what about a complete 180. regardless of the state of the economy...there are jobs out there. don't know what you want to do with yourself?! even better. you have no expectations. you have nothing holding you back from taking something that doesn't live up to your ideals...because you're discovering that your ideals aren't all that tangible anyway. what about a labour job? lots of places that will pay your way. they'll pretty much cover your cost of living. the wages are decent. and while skills are an asset...they're not always prerequisites. and realistically...it's not forever. it's a means to an end in a sense. get out of your stagnation...pay off your debt...and re-examine what you want to do with yourself.

 

just an idea. i can no longer count the number of people i've known that have gone this route. the ones with good heads on their shoulders come back well into the black. and you never know...you might find this kind of work satisfying. many who start out on the academic path find solace later on in more physical, hands-on work.

 

just some thoughts.

[26 an scrappin]

I'm in the same boat bud. Went to school to build race engines and had the time of my life. I worked on engines that were featured in premier car magazines and the like. I was on top of the world. I got out ready to set the world on fire. It didn't happen. I got lined up with a boss that was ripping off his customers left and right so he could run a "business". It absolutely made me sick. I quit. I couldn't take it. I looked for other jobs, but, couldn't find what I was looking for. The pay was terrible and outlook bleak. I've come to realize that skill has nothing to do with how successfull you are at something. Since the whole make your hobby your job thing evaporated I have a new perspective on training for a job. I don't know if it'll work yet, but, we'll see. My theory basically boils down to get schooling for a job that is in demand that pays decent whether you like it or not. One problem I've had is that I find it hard to throw all my effort and drive into something that is setting people back. I don't enjoy profitting from others misfortune. I'm getting tired of starting over every couple of years, it's rough. By the way I wouldn't advise moving. I did it a couple years back and it didn't work out at all. I was almost homeless.

[blueidealist24]

I wouldn't move, unless it's back in with your father. 26 isn't that old to move back in with parents, look at it this way, would you rather it be when you're 30 or 35 and still in debt? You could always go back and finish the business degree later. As for moving somewhere on your own, I think that would be a horrible idea, because in this economy it seems to usually take at least 3 months to find another job and I think you would just end up in another city but in the same situation you're in now, or an even worse one.

[Psych]

Hi,

 

I think it would be better to finish your degree before doing anything else. When looking for work, having a completed business degree would be a big boost. If you quit now, forfeiting the company's support, and decide later that you want to finish it, you would have the added burden of paying for it yourself.

 

By working 60 hours a week, you must be making pretty good money. How much of it is being eaten up by your debts? It would be a good idea to try to consolidate them into something with more manageable payments, and maybe free up some money so you can save up.

 

You seem to be thinking really big, talking about moving to someplace really far away to start all over. If you must move (which I get--I have to get out of my town too), is there a bigger city closer to you that you could try? You describe some difficulties with getting jobs far away, but that shouldn't be an issue for closer places. Also, the farther you move, the more expensive it gets so staying closer would be more affordable.

 

Does New Brunswick have Pharmacare? I couldn't find a site for it, but here is ours: link removed If NB has such a program, you should be able to afford a job without health benefits.