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This is pain 1978-1980


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Never posted my story.

My wife would go out for a girl night on the town (innocent). There was a friend to who m was a bad girl and in a relationship that was disintegrating. I did not like her and my wife knew this fact.

Well it’s a Friday night the girls are having a great old time, and the boyfriend took a note of my wife.

He would whisper in her friend ear “I would love to f**k her”. They were at a friend house to who was away.

Her friend stated she is married to which he responded “so what”. There were more drinks and smoke, he is now hitting on my wife. Yes, the giggles were happening and small talk.

Now her friend stated to them would you like to be alone there is a bedroom no one is there and you can have fun “hey go do it”, the man takes my wife hand and escorts her into it. Now there was no resistance or fighting it was a sacrifice.

They had sex no less than 6 times that night as he took my wife into bedroom for his pleasure she went with him openly to be penetrated again and again. No use of protection nothing more than my ew lowered into an animal status.

Can you imagine the imagery of this?

Why her girlfriends were thrilled at such an event happened in their presence (today would be a wife sex show).

This worked perfectly for her friend at the end of the night she broke up with him. The dirty deed has been done. He disappeared into the night.

The following morning she came home like nothing happened somehow I knew things had changed not for the better. The week went by eyes could not meet, dinner was strange nor a word spoken. Our daughter needs (baby) become secondary.

I can remember to this day the moment I asked “did you cheat on me” The answer was yes please please do not leave me.

Well the next 24 hours I questioned her hard, friend hard and people there hard. All the stories matched to the letter. Then she stated “I was raped” my response we now go to police. The response from her “no no no” it was not like that I gave me to him. That was the collaborated truth.

Well its 6 months later the images remain (factual). It’s getting harder to exist. There is endless please forgive me from ew. It will never happen again.

Our sex life is violent more like rape no mindset of her pleasure its “wham, bam thank you madam.

The 1 year time, there are no holidays, no celebrations I can see her being lifted off couch by her hand and taken into the bedroom over and again to be pleasured. The images so intense as they are of a woman placed on an altar to be given over and over again.

Counseling is realized via friend, its worsening we do not speak meals are random the house unlearned. My mother in law takes care of child.

We attend individual and married couple ones. The counselor sends me to MD for antidepressants he states you must work on repair and love. This is attempted for 9 months as I get close to opening the heart the image of her being taken into bedroom over and over again returns only to engulf the soul.

1.9 yr mark counselor is running out of idea’s even approaches radical therapy of us going to swingers club to see her taken by many men as way of flushing out images. My ew is willing to go this route, but I am not as now the images are feeding my life. Things now are on a downward spiral violence is coming windows, chairs, walls and car destroyed in fits of rage (long stopped medication).

2.3 yr mark one session broke his table with fist that was to be the red light. Its time my friend for you to leave, there is no more that can be done. He calls my EW in for separate session she comes home wife as ghost and tearful. There was no more counseling.

2.4 yr mark ew trips and falls down entire flight of stairs. I break out in hysterical laughter. I think to this day if she would have died would have laughed just as hard.

I announce leaving the family. Her reaction leave day: I hate you, never want to see you again, hope you die, I will kill myself and then the breaking of dishes mirrors etc.

Next day I leave the family unit, 1 week later certified mail comes divorce papers no contest, no child support nothing its simply sign and return.

I for 30 yrs thereafter have looked for the rational of infidelity, the reading of other’s misery the thesis’ written on subject matter been member of no less than 50 support groups.

Pleas do not be concerned very normal.

I literally have become somewhat of a mentor in real life situations. I warn many

Do you really want to know details?

If images grow stronger time to decide

Put a timeframe around forgive and forget

There can be a fabulous life after divorce.

Do not stay for house, money or children life is not a bank when its gone it’s gone.



BTW, life is very good met my wife after divorce and been happily married for 29 yrs.

The EW post divorce.

2 illegitimate children.


Social services client.

For 10 years abuse by new husband

********4 weeks ago found online in facebook the woman that gave wife to man. Oh, she wants obviously to bury the past. I love technology.

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Unfornnately she did



Yes in my 30 yr study you are correct about never overcoming.


I have chatted with couples that 10 yrs and more over came the intial shock of infidelity. This however was forever an issue every auguement, non agreement it came up as a couple. This resulted in festering wound reopening then resealed. The victim had to live with all the precursors of memories movies, songs TV shows in which it was the theme.

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Yes you are correct, the story was 1st wife.


Indeed there was no forget or forgive gave it a hella try 2 yrs.


Yes still married happily 30 yrs with 2nd wife to whom was 15 yrs old.


It still happens today.

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Today do a google fast and furious star jasimne, then image.


Se is 16 he is 34 scheduled to be married.


In NJ 149 couples male was in 40's females 16-18 that was 2007 stats. So that is out the window.


We been married for 30 yrs very very happy. Well, sick that went out the window.

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Today do a google fast and furious star jasimne, then image.


Se is 16 he is 34 scheduled to be married.


In NJ 149 couples male was in 40's females 16-18 that was 2007 stats. So that is out the window.


We been married for 30 yrs very very happy. Well, sick that went out the window.


She was 19 and he was 34 when he proposed, not 16.


I bet in NJ there were more than 149 cases of child molestation, and more than 149 cases of rape. Doesn't make it right. Also, you're using statistics for 16 - 18 year olds. Your wife was 15. What is the statistic of 15 year olds marrying 30 year olds? It's obviously lower that 149.


Just because you are still married doesn't mean a 30 year old marrying a 15 year old isn't sick. Sorry if you find that offensive, but a 15 year old is a child.

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And Elvis! She moved in with him when she was 14. But at least she wasn't his cousin, like Jerry Lee's girl.


Whatever the OP did, it's way in the past now.


Exactly even with 30 years of marriage under the belt doesn't make marrying a minor right but no sense of casting stones now.

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