monty77 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 So Ive been dating my boyfriend for 8 months, and this is nothing new but I know for a fact he watches porn. Im not sure how much or when...but I give him sex as often as he wants...we live kind of far away from each other, about 30 min, so we dont see each other every day, but i sneak out a lot to see him. So we have sex at least twice a week. Is this normal? should he still be wanting to watch porn and jack off? lol help! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Completely normal. I don't see any issue here at all. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think you need to separate sex from porn watching. Men masturbate. Porn assists masturbation. I know my husband watches it [not always, but I know he has]. It never has interfered with our sex life...I feel loved, wanted, lusted and desired from him. He has never chosen masturbating over being with me, and does it only when I am not home/around/working different shifts, etc and the porn just helps him. I don't think it reflects his feelings towards me, or the relationship. Viewing porn has no effect on me. I think the problem is when he chooses to masturbate with porn instead of physically being with you. As in, you're in bed wanting some, and he's in the computer room jacking off. Then its a problem. If he's doing it when you're not together, thats his choice really. Link to comment
IStandoutI Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Lol please don't think to far into this, all guys jack off, even if they have someone they can have sex with. It's an urge that we all have, your not always going to be there! Link to comment
monty77 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 i still dont understand why he has to do it though?? like really..he has sex more then twice a week! isnt that enough?? Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Everyone is different. Just because its enough for you, doesn't mean it is for him. Just because he has sex twice a week doesn't mean he isn't horny the other 5 days of the week, and shouldn't be allowed to tocuh himself. Link to comment
Tique Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 i still dont understand why he has to do it though?? like really..he has sex more then twice a week! isnt that enough?? Apparently not. I know guys who masturbate daily, even if they have a girlfriend or not. Some of them do it because they don't wanna be bothering their gf's for sex all the time. Link to comment
monty77 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 and sure i understand he might need to masterbate...but really? does he have to watch other ppl having sex? why cant he just think about me shouldnt that be enough?? lol Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 What is it that actually bothers you about him watching porn? Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Not all men are good are fantasizing in their minds. Its just a visual aid to achieve a goal. Don't read too much into it. He probably doesn't. Link to comment
monty77 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 What is it that actually bothers you about him watching porn? its the fact that he gets satisfaction and joy or whatever from him watching other naked women...idk maybe im just overreacting Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I thought that might be the reason. What you have to realise that it isn't real, it's just fantasy and is no reflection on you. The sooner you do the better. If this becomes an issue it will cause all kinds of problems within the relationship. He might even tell you he doesn't watch it to keep you happy but he will still be doing it behind your back. Link to comment
monty77 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 I thought that might be the reason. What you have to realise that it isn't real, it's just fantasy and is no reflection on you. The sooner you do the better. If this becomes an issue it will cause all kinds of problems within the relationship. He might even tell you he doesn't watch it to keep you happy but he will still be doing it behind your back. to me porn isnt a fantasy at all..he's physically looking at another woman having sex, and he gets turned on by it. he watches porn because he wants to. if he wanted to jack off then sure go ahead, but watching other naked women isnt necesarry at all....and thats why i have a problem Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 So whats the solution? Him stopping, or lying that he doesn't do it to make you happy? Thats what would happen. He'll probably still look at porn, but just not tell you that he's doing it. How do you feel in the overall relationship? How is your self confidence? How do you view yourself> Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 to me porn isnt a fantasy at all..he's physically looking at another woman having sex, and he gets turned on by it. he watches porn because he wants to. if he wanted to jack off then sure go ahead, but watching other naked women isnt necesarry at all....and thats why i have a problem It is a fantasy. He might be looking at another woman but it isn't reality. Real women do not look likeporn stars and if you actually have a look at it, most of them aren't even that attractive. Most of them are heavily enhanced cosmetically. Lots of men and even women use porn. Would you rather he ran out cheating all the time to get his needs met? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 i still dont understand why he has to do it though?? like really..he has sex more then twice a week! isnt that enough?? I have had sex more than twice a week and still masturbate. It's something you do when the mood strikes you. Men find other women attractuve while in a relationship - to think they dont is naive. Will you get mad at him for checking a girl out in the street next? Link to comment
monty77 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 It is a fantasy. He might be looking at another woman but it isn't reality. Real women do not look likeporn stars and if you actually have a look at it, most of them aren't even that attractive. Most of them are heavily enhanced cosmetically. Lots of men and even women use porn. Would you rather he ran out cheating all the time to get his needs met? his needs are met...im the one that fulfills them. he says im great in bed and loves how i make him feel all the time...so why would he ever need to cheat to get his "needs met"? and is masterbation really THAT important that he would cheat if he didnt get a chance to watch porn? Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I didn't actually mean it like that. Men would have sex every day if they could. What I was trying to point out is that what he is doing is harmless. It doesn't affect you or the relationship in a negative way and I would be thankful for a bf of mine to be using porn rather that getting his kicks elsewhere. The bottom line is that using it is normal. I know a lot of people have trouble accepting that, I even did when I was younger. Over time though, I came to accept that it is normal for men and women to look at porn and really it is pointless making an issue of it in a relationship because it will never go your way. Link to comment
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