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Two Problems! Boring sex and Uncomfortable sex...


aliiaffliction

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First problem- Boring sex...

 

Me and my boyfriend have been together since november 2009, at first things were very shy and innocent which was weird as we'd known each other for years. Neither of us had any experience of sex or even a proper relationship before. In the second month of our relationship things got a little more romantic and on Christmas day 2009 he asked me about sex. I agreed that I was ready for it, he was my best friend and I loved him so much. We talked and talked about it until February when I went to the family planning centre for contraception and things. Then in July we finally started having sex. It was great to start off with but then this year it's just stopped being so great. We haven't had real romantic sex since last year! Every time it's just a quickie which I don't enjoy but he does, we do it in risky places and I find it boring now. I want romance but every time I mention it to him he says that we'll have a romantic night together but we never do... I really don't know what to do about it...

 

Second problem- Uncomfortable sex

 

I'm a bit worried about this... Recently this has started, usually before sex my boyfriend knows I like it when he uses his fingers but recently as soon as his fingers go inside me it starts to hurt, like a scratch but it's not his nails because he's scratched me before but it feels different to that. Then when it comes to the actual sex I always feel like I need to urinate but I don't. I can't concentrate on enjoying it when I feel like this and I don't know what's causing it... Can anyone help?

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it is really frustrating to bring something up to a partner, have them agree to make changes/effort, and then them not make changes. bc then you feel like youre nagging them, eventhough they are the cause of you having to mention it again. i would bring it up, again. explain you talked about it and then he never followed through. see what he says. tell him you dont want to have to keeep bringing it up, but also arent willing to let him make no effort. you can also try to make things more "romantic" on your own. see if that leads him in the right direction.

 

as far as painful sex, go tothe OBGYN! you can talk to them and im sure they will have some answers.

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