Inexperienced guys and met online

[thecynic]

I need some insight and advice on a guy who I have been talking to online. I have known him casually online for a few years but it was only recently that we messaged each other privately. From what I know about him, he has never dated, a frustrated virgin, and never even kissed a girl. It stems from being shy, I guess. He has approached me (messaged me online) and tried to to talk to me and add me on Facebook and such. We talked chat on an instant messaging software for maybe 2-3 months. He said he is almost positive he can come visit and he wants a date with me if he does (he lives a few hours away). He has been wanting to chat with me very often (sometimes every other day, sometimes everyday) and he is the one who initiates conversation almost every time. When I message him, he replies very fast and he is 100 percent focused on me when we do chat. We talk about what goes on everyday in our lives but conversation often turns sexual. He talked about how much he masturbates, make horny jokes, and says how much he is turned on by girls he sees at his campus but it was all in a fun nature. By that time, I thought he was just talking to me because he wanted to see if he can get lucky and lose his virginity if he visits. I was pretty fed up with it at one point and so I ask him what he hopes to get out of our interaction. He was pretty taken back by it and said since we live far, we can't physically be with each other so he was just looking for something emotional and that this is the closest he has been with a girl. He said how things shouldn't be serious in the beginning although it can get serious.

 

As for me, I am not looking just for some fun. I have already been heartbroken a few times and I don't want to go through it again. I have hinted this to him and I told him he have to give me some space (meaning: don't try to talk to me so often) because deep down I was developing feelings for him (I didn't tell him this second part).

 

My questions are:

 

1) What do you make of his eagerness to talk to me so often online? He just wants attention? He thinks showering me with attention will make me more comfortable about getting physical with him? Or, you think he has some genuine attachment to me?

 

2) And, What do you make of his overly sexual conversations? Does he just want to get laid. He is just horny especially because of his sexually deprived past? Should I be worried or not?

 

3) And finally, what are the chances of things progressing to a more serious relationship?

[Deejmonster]

1. He is shy, you are a girl that is taking notice to him. He most likely really likes you.

 

2. He probably wants to get laid, its most likely a priority of his. This is because he is sexually deprived. This could have a chance at becoming a problem but you will have to find that out once you meet him.

 

3. The chances that something develops into something more serious is only up to the both of you. Nobody can honestly and seriously answer this at this time.

 

Any other questions or concerns?

[RedDress]

Honestly? I think you are freaking out over nothing.

 

Here's the golden rule: If you don't want to be used for sex, don't have sex until you are sure that it is more than just that.

 

There is no reason (from what you've described) why you have to distance yourself from him or stop yourself from meeting him in real life. Why not? Why not just see where things go.

 

If he was only after sex, I suspect he wouldn't be talking to you for months on end... Especially with you living so far away.

 

I say enjoy it... just don't put out or anything until you know him (and his intentions) better.

[oldenoughtoknow]

He might be shy, and he might be a virgin. Just because that's what he said doesn't make it true. The fact that he contacts you close to every day and is making sexually explicit flirtations makes me wonder at least about the shy part. I would approach it like anything else. You've stated you want to move slowly. The two of you seem to get on well, other than the sex talk. I'd meet him in a public place and be cautious. Set boundaries and stick to them. Then, see where it goes from there.