Chest foreplay pointers?

[rockerstar]

Okay...I've just been with this guy for a little over a month now and we just attempted second base yesterday. We're both novices and he decided that foreplay would consist of kneading my breasts...possibly pinching them and sucking on them hard. In short, I've ended up with some very sore nipples and some cuts (probably due to his teeth). So my question is, what foreplay do guys do to women? And what foreplay do women do to guys? Taking into account we're novices and only looking at tops off at most...so playing around with the chest area. How then how to suggest it to the partner? (aka so it doesn't sound like you're telling them what to do?)

Thanks.

[FathomFear]

It always seems like you're viewing sex as a kind of scripted activity. I would focus less on what other people do and instead focus on what you both want to do. ie, what do you fantasize about and what would you both like to explore at this point in time. I would just talk about it and go from there.

[rockerstar]

It always seems like you're viewing sex as a kind of scripted activity. I would focus less on what other people do and instead focus on what you both want to do. ie, what do you fantasize about and what would you both like to explore at this point in time. I would just talk about it and go from there.

 

Really? You'd start talking about your fantasies so soon?

Maybe we do...but that's because we have no idea what we are doing. :S

I think we're just also afraid of what the other may think. :S

[d24]

teeth + hard + nipples = generally sore nipples.

soft + nipples = generally happier woman.

 

from my experience girls seem to enjoy it more when you're really soft anf gentle with them, almost to the point of goosepimples by softly stroking and ... a bit of flicking.... mmmm.... GRRRRR damn you OP, you're making me thinking about it now

[IStandoutI]

Well in my opinion i don't think your're supposed to actually bite a woman's nipples hard, complete turn off to most women. But something my girlfriends does that completely makes me melt is she starts from my neck and with her tongue goes down to my chest and spells my name or her name. As for me I do the same, biting a little more but not hard, also, rub your hands down his side or his back, thats a big turn on (for me at least )

[BellaDonna]

Honestly if someone cut my breast I would probably punch them in the face and not let them have access again. With that said, if you don't think it was intentional and that he just doesn't know what he is doing then you might want to tell him what feels good to you (assuming being cut and pinched doesn't feel good) and advise him of this general rule:

 

"Do not do anything to my breasts that you would not want done to your own balls"

 

-Supposedly the sensitivity level of both are similar and both should be handled with care. Of course perception of pleasure and pain differs from person to person. Don't be shy to tell him what feels good to you and what DOESN'T feel good. There's no reason why you should have to be sore if it is not something you enjoy.

[capilot]

... In short, I've ended up with some very sore nipples and some cuts (probably due to his teeth).

 

Mmmm, yeah. The thing is, you're not the one who needs pointers; he is.

 

Actually, I do have some pointers for you:

 

If it hurts, say "ow!" and push him away. He'll learn fast enough.

 

Tell him what to do. "Lick it, baby, don't chew on it." "Slower". "Not so hard". If he isn't completely clueless, he'll be willing to learn.

 

"Do not do anything to my breasts that you would not want done to your own balls"

 

Very well said.

[Gennevieve]

Suggest that he start slowly, using barely enough pressure with his hands/thumbs so that you just feel it. For me, my sides are also a soft spot. Maybe if he runs his fingertips up and down your sides, it will stimulate you enough so he can use more pressure on your breasts.

 

Going along with everyone else - if it doesn't feel good, please tell him in some way. Otherwise he will continue to do it because he doesn't know it hurts you.

[rockerstar]

Okay...I'm going to be seeing him tonight...so we'll see how we go...I'm just a bit scared that he might get upset if I tell him what to do. But you're all right...if it hurts then its not pleasurable.

LOL @ BellaDonna!!! I think knowing that I'm kind of his first when he comes to this stuff makes it the exception...if it were anyone else I would be upset, because you would think that they would know better.

Okay...soft and slow...soft and slow...

And thank you for the advice.

Its a little scary doing this all for the first time...I'm just left wondering a lot of the time "what the hell am I doing?"

[rockerstar]

So...meet up with him and didn't really get a chance to chat...I think he felt awkward talking about it...

I'm wondering now also if I'm not being too demanding....I say to him "I like it when you do " just to encourage him a bit more....is this okay?

[Gennevieve]

Yes, that's perfect.

 

When you say you "talked about it", does that mean before the deed or during it? It might put him off if you talk about what you don't like before you're in the process of doing foreplay. Instead, talk about what you do like during it. It's more pro active that way.

[rockerstar]

Yes, that's perfect.

 

When you say you "talked about it", does that mean before the deed or during it? It might put him off if you talk about what you don't like before you're in the process of doing foreplay. Instead, talk about what you do like during it. It's more pro active that way.

 

Well I had to mention it a bit before...as I'm still recovering. :S

But I agree when we attempt to do it again I might bring it up.

 

Thanks for the advice on whether I was saying it right or not...I wasn't sure and thought I'd double check...

[soul_soother]

Generally if a guy isn't willing to listen to the advice from his partner about what she likes sexually, he probably doesn't deserve you sexually (completely my opinion here). Communication in the sexual realm is always KEY to a greater and better sexual life. Because girl A is different than girl B. Example: My gf 4 years ago wanted me to be rough in every little thing I did, especially breast. However my current girlfriend is very gentle with light fingertip strokes against them with my fingertips and light sucking as well. Every girl is different in all kinds of ways, so the best is to try something and see what you like and then verbalize it.