Getting to that point in a relationship where you're scared of heartbreak

[jennb]

I've only had one serious relationship in my life and that lasted 3 years.

 

My current boyfriend I've been seeing for 4 months now in the beginning it's fun--we went on dinner dates, movies, etc. and it's all been light and about getting to know each other. For me, I'm reaching the point where I'm start to develop stronger feelings for him, to the point where I'm getting scared now! I feel like now I'm putting myself out there and I'm scared to get more attached. I think about him so much more now and I feel vulnerable.

 

How do I deal with this feeling? I'm 21, btw.

[Ms Darcy]

Oh you are so young. Just take it slow. are you having sex?

[jennb]

Oh you are so young. Just take it slow. are you having sex?

 

So what does it mean to take it slow, exactly?

And no, we haven't had sex--I'm not waiting for marriage or anything, I'm just waiting until I know I can trust him 200%

[mouseno4]

Taking it slow means not jumping to 18th hole on the course before you have done the previous 17. There is no rush to get it done. When you 'feel' you are ready, and only doing it when that arrives, is what going slow is. When you will feel ready is entirely up to you. The best idea of what i mean, is taking things one step at a time. Dont let yourself be forced or talked into doing anything you dont feel comfortable doing.

[Ms Darcy]

So what does it mean to take it slow, exactly?

And no, we haven't had sex--I'm not waiting for marriage or anything, I'm just waiting until I know I can trust him 200%

 

To me, taking it slow is a combination of moving slowly physically and emotionally. Congrats on waiting for sex until you are ready and feel trust. that is an important piece and says a lot about you. Moving slowly emotionally to me means making sure you don't give him all your time. don't text/im/talk to him on the phone all day. Only see him a few times a week. Have a full and fulfilling life outside of the relationship and that is taking it slow.

 

Good luck.

[tresqua]

I'm just waiting until I know I can trust him 200%

 

That's never going to happen.