What would you do if your partner was moving interstate permanently?

[Alleesa]

If your boyfriend of 2,3,4+ years said that there is a very good possibility that he might move interstate at the end of the year for work (permanently), what would you do?

 

My bf of 3 years has just told me this. First time i've heard about it so it came as a bit of a shock. He told me and then asked what would happen with us.

[faithful14]

Well have you both discussed what you want? Do you want to move with him or do long distance?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What does HE have in mind for the relationship...he must have some ideas considering HE dropped this bombshell on you. It is kind of the coward's way out to suddenly ask YOU what would happen to the relationship.

[FairyGodmother]

If you see it as a meaningful relationship that has a future, I would suggest being in a long-distance relationship with him until you can figure out a way to move to be with him.

[Alleesa]

There hasn't even really been a discussion about it. He just dropped it on me randomly. If he can't get a job here, he will move. (There are lots more jobs there in that industry than where we are). He never said what would happen to us - he basically asked me. I had no answer at that moment as you just told me! He said that i should move with him. I dont know if he was serious. It isn't that easy for me. I've just had a house built. There is no guarentee that i'll find a job over there either!

[xyzzzz]

has he already accepted the job without discussing with you? well that means he has already chosen his career before you. however i personally favor guys who is career focused. if i were you, if he is generally a great bf i would should try move over there with him.

unless you have a very promising career in your city,and you totally dont need to sacrifise yourself for him,which means you might have to do long distance first and see how things go.

[Alleesa]

has he already accepted the job without discussing with you? well that means he has already chosen his career before you. however i personally favor guys who is career focused. if i were you, if he is generally a great bf i would should try move over there with him.

unless you have a very promising career in your city,and you totally dont need to sacrifise yourself for him,which means you might have to do long distance first and see how things go.

 

He hasn't accepted a job. Basically, he finishes his degree at the end of the year. If he can't find one here, he says he will move there (there are more in his field over there). So he might get one here and stay. But this is the first i've heard of it in 3 years!

[Ms Darcy]

I would say that I wouldn't move for a partner I wasn't engaged to.

[FairyGodmother]

I think you should really tell him that it's alot to think about, so you need time, and ask him what direction HE'd like your relationship to go in if he takes a job out of state. Personally, I think if he asked you to go with him, even jokingly, he probably wants to stay together with you, and might just be afraid to make you feel pressured into going with him. But you won't know his true motives unless you discuss it with him! Also, like I said before perhaps you should do a LDR while he's gone so you can take the time to find a job over there and sort out your housing situation (selling your current house and buying a new one, or seeing if you could move in with him in his future establishment), without feeling rushed by the need to quickly unroot yourself and plonk yourself down in some unfamiliar place with no job.

[Alleesa]

I would say that I wouldn't move for a partner I wasn't engaged to.

 

Thats another thing that i've thought about. I wasn't sure if i was just being selfish. I'd be moving to another part of the country (something that i've never thought about doing previously) for him... im warey about it. Theres no real security in it unlike if you were married or engaged.