Ex boyfriend with depression - advice please!

[XButtonsx]

Hi Guys I am only new to this forum and looking for advice please is possible. I was with my boyfriend for over a year, he told me early on in the relationship that he had depression and that he hated himself and hated life. First few months were amazing and we were madly in love then after about 6 months we broke up which came out of nowhere but got back together for a few weeks before he broke up with me again. Again we got back together and were happy for another 4 months before he decided that he cant handle a relationship and broke up again. He was taking meds for short period but then stopped and he refuses to get help but knows he isnt well. He says he cant love anyone cause he doesnt love himself. Says he doesnt enjoy anything anymore and cant remember the last time he was happy. He would always fight and get in moods with me over small things, i was constantly walking on eggshells. The thing is nobody knows about his depression other than me and his mom. All his friends think he is the life and soul of the party and really a happy person. He told me on several occasions that he has googled how to **** himself. He said that he doesnt want to be with me, he doesnt love me, that he hates me and will never ever get in a relationship again. He said he just wants to be left alone. He can be quite horrible at times and says i made him depressed. I can tell you that i couldnt have been nicer to him and did everything i possibly could to make him happy.

 

We havent spoken for a week, should i just let him go? Will he come back? How can he carry on and be happy to everyone else but me??? Any advice would be very much appreciated x

[mouseno4]

This sounds remarkably similar to a post in the Dating section of the forum.

 

Do you really care for him? Do you still love him? Do you want him back?

[RedDress]

Yes, you should carry on and let him go. His mother knows about his depression and she needs to be on him about taking his meds.

[sara-pezzini]

his behavior doesn't sound like it's only the depression talking, my BF has sever depressions at times BUT he never says i cause them or that he doesn't love me or hate me or whatever....he sounds like he is using it as an excuse to just say whatever he wants and you don't deserve to be treated like that....i know personally how hard depression is to deal with and feel powerless to help my BF through it but i try and he really appreciates what i do for him and makes an effort himself as well, never in his depression is he an A-hole to me......

[mouseno4]

I happen to have moderate to severe depression myself. I have never blamed it on someone else. That is actually contradictory. Depression is a state of mind, a chemical imbalance in the brain or a couple other hard to describe factors. It isnt caused by other people. Sure they may contribute, but they are not the cause. And to actually shift the blame onto another... that is just being nasty because you can.

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[catfeeder]

While some people can balance having both a relationship and depression, many can't. This means they are not relationship material--no matter what you do. The role of a lover is not to play therapist. Signing on to a relationship that starts with an announcement that I'm depressed and hate life isn't a brilliant idea.