hausser Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Me and my ex of 3.5 years have been split up around 6 weeks, although only until the last fortnight or so did we actually stop seeing each other. Up until that point she was still coming to the apartment to cut my hair, walk the dog etc. I actually put a stop to it as it was hurting me when I would see her, then not hear from her later, as I used to. Anyway, we didnt split up over an infidlelity or anything. As I said she was still coming here on various reasons until around a fortnight ago. In the past it had almost ALWAYS been here to initiate getting back, but this time after she had moved her stuff out I was waiting, like a stubborn idiot for a get back together that never happened. I wish now I had tried to have a conversation to iron out what the problem(s) were, instead of being my usual stubborn self and sat here on my own now and lonely. Anyways, I havent spoke to her at since Wednesday, havent seen her since just over two weeks. She did ring up last week for a chat, but when she didnt seem responsive later I became impatient again. I have a few things I would like to say but am worried that If I get rejected or dont get the answer I want back I will feel worse, or perhaps it may give me closure? Do these messages ever work? Link to comment
InLimboForEver Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Tread with caution, it seems you at least still have a good friendship here and you dont want to spoil that... I was at the point once when I wanted some sort of "answers" or "closure" but whatever I heard It was never good enough for me... I pushed and pushed until I lost her for good, not even friends and its not nice... I would suggest sure ring her up, have a chat, face to face and try and see where you go with things... Because if you do not go for that chat, you will be regretting it and thinking about it all the time.... But dont push her too much... And dont become impatient when you dont hear what you want to hear.... Try be calm and try and resolve things the best you can, hopefully both of you will be on the same page in terms of what you want.... Link to comment
oneroad Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Hi, Im in exactly the same position as you with my ex. We broke up on good terms with him not knowing what he wanted, he was confused and scared of getting hurt. I feel like i need to ask him if breaking up is definitely what he wants but i know in the back of my mind if the answer is not good then it might cause me more upset and at the moment im handling things ok Link to comment
InLimboForEver Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 It is better to regret doing something then to regret NOT doing it at all.... Because if you do NOT do what your heart tells you to do, you will always be wondering "what if" I asked or tried to see if we can reconcile... etc Link to comment
hausser Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Thanksl for answers both. Yeah it's horrible. I feel as if I say one or two things I may be able to save the relationship but as you both said, it may eb too late now. I'm kicking myself now when I think I was so arrogant when we first split up, and now she's the strong one and sounds like she's moved on. Link to comment
hausser Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 It is better to regret doing something then to regret NOT doing it at all.... Because if you do NOT do what your heart tells you to do, you will always be wondering "what if" I asked or tried to see if we can reconcile... etc Yeah, this happened before and we did get back. Thing is though, I have actually strongly suggested we get back already, and she didnt say yes put it that way. Link to comment
InLimboForEver Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Maybe what is needed is just a bit more time... She may just need to clear her head.... If I was you I would try and spend some time together when you can, even just as friends, so she can see what she is missing out on... And forget what happened before, so you were stubborn now you can learn from it, dont make the same mistake... When the time is right, and not too intensely suggest that you two could get back together, but I suggest that you discuss and talk about any issues that you may have had in the first place... Link to comment
Glowguy Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 If you are going to send a letter, refrain from blaming her in any way possible. Perhaps you can apologize for things that lead to the break up without trying to justify them if you are sincere about it. That might help your cause, but it also might be too late. The problem with sending the letter is that it will probably take you back to square one if you don't get any kind of response from her. Since she has been in regular contact with you it seems unlikely she would do that. If I was you I would try and spend some time together when you can, even just as friends, so she can see what she is missing out on I don't agree with this at all. The only way she will start to miss you is for you to stop contacting her at all and then she will slowly come to realize what life is like without you. Do you really want to be just friends with your ex? It seems clear you want more than that. I think falling into the friend zone will only prolong your pain, but if you truly feel like you can handle it then go for it. Link to comment
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