6 Months on Can't Heal Getting Worse Now!

[boyblue]

Hi all

 

Been on and off here since my BU and thought - stupidly - I was healing and I suppose I did to an extent. I met a new chick and was feeling my life was going kina in the right direction ok I had thoughts about my ex here and there but nothing that set me back. Great I thought this (Explanation about "this" below) is my path to getting on and finally moving on, which I have wanted to do for ages - as you can imagine!

 

Ok I met this new chick and I wasn't really into her that much, she was nice and all we got on ok but no real spark there. After a few months she pulled the plug on it as I knew she was going to do and tbh I was not phased in the slightest. The day she phoned to tell me it was like I knew she was about to phone and tell me and I was like ok no problem and got over it in literally 5 minutes and haven't thought about her really since.

 

And now well I am having these feelings all over about my ex ex now and it is all coming back like before, I can handle it this time a lot better but it is like a wave hitting me again and tbh it is really pissing me off I want this * * * * out of my mind once and for all, I want to be able to forget her but I cannot. I feel weak and crap as I know she has moved on probably and I want to too!

 

I have been doing everything to get it out of my mind but it just keeps coming back, why why why the * * * * can't I let go????????

 

Seriously I am not looking for answers just venting I know only I can do this it is up to me but it is so damn hard and so taxing on everything I do and say and think that is starting to really ruin my whole life I can't move on with other women, I can't enjoy myself, my career is on a knife edge because of it, I just keep getting these recurring thoughts about why this all happened and can't move on! It feels like for once something has beaten me and has control over my whole life and will always.

 

Trust me I want to move on I really do!

 

BB

[hausser]

How long were u with her for dude?

[boyblue]

Only about 8 months or so not long that's why I can't figure out why I can't get it out of my system even after 6 months almost NC! I think I thought I had met the one that was maybe why and she walked!

 

Not sure if I need some sort of help or therapy but then what would that achieve?

 

BB

[curiocity]

Different people take different time. Only one thing is a fact: time heals all wounds irrevocable and completely. It may take 6 months, 6 years, or 6 decades, but if you decide to take back control of your life, you will be able to. It depends on how emotional or rational you are.Its ok to hurt and all of us have varying levels of emotions. Just know that I am talking from experience. Also, this may sound rather sad, but to get over one hurt is to get a new hurt. Find someone else that you pine for and you will never ever think of this girl again. Again from experience.

[ferna3069]

it takes time. when you find the one that you think is the time and you date some one else its going to set you back. reason for that is because u dont feel like the next girl was as good as your ex. u need to stop dating for atlease a whole year work on yourself and be friends with girls first before dating them. if u need a friend to talk to im here just pm me

[boyblue]

I think I know what you mean but will not realise until it has happened! Finding it really difficult to even bond with any other women though, this latest chick by all accounts I would have cut my right arm off to be with a few years back and well most guys would have said your EX EX is not a patch on her but I had no feelings for her, never really wanted to meet up with her and really wan't that interested - weird eh?

 

What has happened to my fair self?

 

Starting to think it is my ego hurting more than anything I dunno she really got on my mind and said some antagonising things when we were in BU mode. Think she wove a story about spending the festive period with a guy just to annoy me - stuff like that she was a heartless * * * * * in the end.

 

BB

[boyblue]

it takes time. when you find the one that you think is the time and you date some one else its going to set you back. reason for that is because u dont feel like the next girl was as good as your ex. u need to stop dating for atlease a whole year work on yourself and be friends with girls first before dating them. if u need a friend to talk to im here just pm me

 

Ok thanks for offering to help ferna very much appreciated

[ferna3069]

you welcome i know that when you need to let it out u need to let it out you know. its the best way to heal dont let any one tell u otherwise

[boyblue]

you welcome i know that when you need to let it out u need to let it out you know. its the best way to heal dont let any one tell u otherwise

 

So true I must admit this is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced it has changed me - a lot!! I've experienced my fair share of * * * * e in this life so far and have stood up and pushed through it but this...phew it takes a new level of person to get through it! It's not beaten me tho i'm still here to tell the tale but I got a bit of a shock when all this stuff from months ago started coming back.

 

BB

[ferna3069]

i know how you feel. with my first ex when i thought i was over her months later my friend told me about a girl who sounded alot like my ex. my first ex didnt go to the same school as i did. well my friend told me about that girl and her brother which the same girl had the same nam and the brother did to. it was a weird situation becaus ei thought i was going to see her agian after months . lucky me it wasnt her. its weird how feelings come back and sometimes it doesnt matter how much time passed.but once u find some one else better is when u have no feelings for that othe person there more like strangers

[hausser]

Dude when me and my ex had our "first" split, I was angry with her, I had no regrets whatsover about ending it. Then, about two months later, I hadnt met anyone and one day I made the fatal mistake of browsing her facebook and saw a post that she had been out for a date with some guy, or at least thats what it read like.

 

Oh my god, the feeling was undescribable! I went from someone who didnt care a monkeys to missing her more than anything in the world, the sense of guilt I had for essentially ignorin her for two months was almost beyond description. It was full on heartbreak, Thankfullly we got back but that experience really scared me in how emotionally vunerbale I could really be.

 

Anyway the point of the story is is that when I read that FB post I was single, I am convinced if I had been datin I wouldnt have cared.

[boyblue]

The only thing I can do is chalk this up to experience. I think she had some issues as she had hinted at some stuff I don't really want to go into too much but her family would say she is never up front and that is the way she was with me, never wanted to speak always accusing me of being confrontational when all I wanted to do was talk. She would make all these excuses up to basically avoid me and I mean most people would be like ok I'm willing to listen or lets talk and resolve this. She left me hanging by a thread and I also think she was good at doing a 180 with all the blame like the sun only shone out of her arse!

 

2011