GLaD Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 So I recently moved to Orlando with my boyfriend of 6 months. Before, he was only a bit jealous of the one guy friend I had and he never forgave me for thanking my ex for wishing me a happy birthday. Now, he's gone out of control... or kind of in control. Any time I leave the apartment, he accuses me of staring at any guy within my peripheral vision. He literally scopes out the room to find a guy he would suspect I'd find attractive and then watches my eyes while grunting at me or saying things like, "I'm watching you" and then pointing to the guy with his eyes so I naturally look over there. He even gets jealous of old men and gets mad at me if they look at my legs! I can't even have a fun time at the theme parks because I have to stare at the ground the whole time and I'm not aloud to stand or sit near anyone of the opposite sex. I'm starting school soon and he's worried, not that I'll cheat on him, but that I'll look at another guy. I can't even have any girl friends because he's afraid they'll talk to me about a cute guy. He even threatened me that if he found out I said one thing to another guy, he would break all of my things, give my cats away, and break the lease so I would be homeless. I'm not allowed to have any accounts on social networking sites because he thinks I'll talk to guys, yet I've caught him over 5 times talking to his exes and flirting with random girls online when he forgot to exit out of the page. I made a facebook page recently so i could get feedback on my art since I don't have any friends or family around to show it to. I told him about it (i didn't even hide it) and he hacked my email, found the password, changed my facebook account and my email password and security questions. He has huge episodes of jealous rage every week or so and I've decided I've had enough. I've been talking with my dad and he wants me to kick him out and even sue him for something call "cyber-hacking" but I don't want to go that far. He has a place to stay with his family, who live minutes away, but then I'd be stuck with a one bedroom apartment, student loans, and a salary less than minimum wage. My dad suggested finding a roommate, but few girls will want to share their bedroom with a stranger, and finding a decent one that will would take a long time and I would have to borrow a lot of money from my parents, and they shouldn't have to pay for my mistake. Another option is finding a room to rent myself and just moving out, but then I would have to sell most of the furniture my family gave me and leave my soon-to-be ex with a rent he can't pay and his family couldn't afford. I don't want to cause too much trouble for his family, because they are pretty nice people, but I don't want to have to kick him out and screw my family financially, and there's no way I could put up being in such a controlling relationship any longer, even as just friends. I need to fix the situation we're in without hurting too many people. Link to comment
WildHorse Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 First off, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, and kudos to you for being strong enough to leave without even considering a reconciliation. That's very admirable. Second, you said you were starting school. Would you be able to find on-campus housing? Or could you transfer to a school closer to where you came from, and either get a place with a friend from back home, or move in with your parents again? If none of those are options, I would say screw the furniture, and don't think twice about sticking your ex with a rent he can't afford. His behavior is BEYOND ridiculous-- it's unnerving and scary. That might give him a wake-up call and let him know that he being a psychotic control-freak will get him nowhere in life. It sucks for his family to have to deal with helping out of the mess he created, but as much as you may like his family, that's not your problem. Best of luck to you, GLaD... Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 You're making the scope of this too big, and that makes doing anything impossible. The guy's finances are his own to negotiate and manage, yours are yours. Focus on yours and do whatever it takes to get out of this mess and away from him. He'll step up to do what he needs to do--whether that involves help from his family or finding another roommate, he's got plenty of options and they're not your business. Breakups never feel 'good,' and they're hard enough without taking on his responsibilities. Those are his job. If he "won't" handle those, then this could explain why he's a brat--too many people cater to him. Be smart, and stop that. Head high. Link to comment
21YD Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 that guy is clearly really insecure about himself... and he took it out on you. Link to comment
TheJerseyKid Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 It's honestly MIND BOGGLING to me that people can stay with the type of person the OP is describing for almost ANY period of time. No facebook? No female friends? No male friends? I can't even really wrap my head around this, honestly. At least you know the right thing to do at this point, it just seems like you're having trouble pulling the trigger. As others have stated, just worry about yourself, and let him worry about him. He's a grown man he has to learn how to be able to take care of himself and survive on his own. It might sound impossible when you play it out in your head, but if push really comes to shove, you'd be surprised at what people can do. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Why is your self-esteem so low that you are putting up with it. Plan escape right now or it will only get worse. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 I'm starting school soon and he's worried, not that I'll cheat on him, but that I'll look at another guy. I can't even have any girl friends because he's afraid they'll talk to me about a cute guy. He even threatened me that if he found out I said one thing to another guy, he would break all of my things, give my cats away, and break the lease so I would be homeless. Keep reading the above sentence over and over again. It doesn't matter how nice his family is. He's incredibly jealous and emotionally abusive. You need to leave ASAP. Link to comment
piggy_oink Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 If he can't afford the apartment - that's his problem - he should have thought about that before he acted like a burke!!! Link to comment
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