What do I do until he decides?

[Paper Crane]

My boyfriend and I (both 22) have been together for six months. We love each other very much and both agree that we are in a serious relationship and have a possible future together. Everything about our relationship is wonderfull, and I honestly feel he may be the one.

 

Unfortunately because of our age he is being forced to make a life-altering decision earlier on in or relationship than should normally be. This is unfair to both of us because after all, at this point we are still liable to not work out for what ever reason. I'll spare the details in order not to muddy the water but suffice it to say that it involves his moving away. It basically boils down to this: Whether or not we stay together will depend on my boyfriend's decision.

 

He still has some time to weigh his options and decide. but the uncertainty is killing me. I have to restrain myself because I feel like I don't want to invest any more of myself in a relationship that may possibly not work out.

 

So my question is this: While he is trying to decide whether to stay or go, should we try our best to continue in our relationship as usual and continue to invest in it? Or should we back off some and effectively take a break until he can make a decision? I don't want to inadvertently damage our relationship and I certainly don't want to punish him for being in the middle of making a decision. But at the same time I don't want to discount what we have.

[catfeeder]

Your question sounds like the perfect thing to ask him.

[Paper Crane]

Oh he definitely would rather us try to act like everything is normal. Although this uncertainty is wreaking havoc on both of our emotions. I want to know what YOU guys think. My first inclination is to keep going on as normal, but since we don't even know if we're going to be able to stay together I'm afraid that might cheapen what we have?

[catfeeder]

We don't get to control what is permanent. Things happen to split our paths with people all the time. If you have a best friend now but she gets pregnant and turns her life into a diaper pile, you'll compensate by seeing less of her, more of other single friends. It's just natural life cycles. Enjoy the people who are in front of you without debating what you can get from them in 6 months or a year. Good conversation with a stranger you'll never see again isn't 'wasted'. Neither is the effort a teacher invests in every class that moves on to never be seen again, or the care a nurse invests in a patient who will heal and leave.

 

Control less, love more.