Help with NC/LC and the rules of it!!

[Butterfly023]

Ok, so I am really confused on this process and need some help from all of the wonderful people on ENA!!

 

For some backround (there are prior post) but, BU a little over a month ago...I was not a priority when he messed up and I wanted to discuss it...He said he couldn't discuss it b/c he had prior plans but how does two days from now at noon sound?? Now, prior to our disagreement the night before we had plans for the whole weekend. I said forget it no need to discuss anything as I see where your priorities are and I'm done! So for the first two weeks, I kept asking to talk...was asking why he couldn't just say I want to talk etc...So then I went into NC or atleast LC b/c we work together and sit right next to each other.... Every time I got a personal call at work (family) I would receive emails within 5 minutes about how disrepectful I am talking to my new guy in front of him (there is NO new guy) ...I reminded him that it was his actions that brought us to where we are.....So FAIL at NC...go back to NC receive text and emails and I stay strong....So today he brings me a bunch of magazines to work that I like? I say thank you and nothing else.

 

Meanwhile last week, I find out some information that proves his dishonesty. Also, I receive a text that he is sorry for his part and would like for us to sit down a talk....A month later??? He is still talking to someone that he cheated on me with 3 years ago...I don't say anything that I know. Today, get a personal call at work...and yep here comes the email....Bout how my lack of replies to his text/emails leaves him guessing that I do not want to sit down to talk. Also states that if that is the case for me to "let him know this way he does not have to worry about wasting time on figuring out what he needs to say when we do talk". WHAT THE HECK IS THAT???? I reply back stating, NO need to worry about figuring out more stories and lies to provide.....He replies, so are you saying you don't want to talk? ](*,)

 

So I am not sure at this point what to do...I know I have failed on the NC but was doing really good up until today. I am not upset that I failed at it today, not yet atleast...But am I just not being clear? Will this continue until I say I don't want to talk. Do I just reply w/ that or will I be breaking the NC again? Will I feel better if I say it or will it set me back on my progress....I am to the point now where I still have bad days but they are coming further apart?

 

Sorry for the length...Any advise is more than welcomed! Once again I would like to thank everyone for their assistance!!

[GrowingIn]

I think No Contact is pretty self explanatory.

 

LC is you still do not want to have any contact with this person and you try 100% of the time to limit and avoid any possible contact with that person. The idea is is YOU are actively dedicating yourself and trying to limit the contact no matter what. That means no explanations or conversations about no contact with the significant other!

 

When you stop answering, they'll get the message.

[ForumGuy]

Tell him "I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone" and then go back to NC.

[Sagreras]

Change your number, deactivate your email account, vanish off the face of the planet, and watch that complacent/gormless expression on his face change overnight as the “Oh Sheiss” effect sinks in.

 

He’ll be at you door in a couple of weeks, ten pounds lighter due to stress, and as intellectually malleable as Playdough.

[Butterfly023]

Ok, So I never replied back from when I originally post this. I think I'm having a bad day??? I really really really want to respond for some reason today, I want scream and yell and tell him what a piece of *** he is for doing this to me....I know I deserve better, but for some reason I CANT let go....I feel like I am going backwards in this healing process....

 

I know that if I respond, I won't get the truth...I never do...All I get is blame being pushed back on me. I want to just move on, let go and be happy! But I can't get there, for some reason I am hanging on to something that wasn't that good to begin with!!

 

WHY??