Unsure about what my ex really feels for me

[Abbby]

So I met my ex boyfriend online nearly 2 years ago and we met up in person last October. We kept seeing eachother nearly every week after that but he commuted a lot more than I did because I'm a student and he works full-time. Our relationship had gotten quite serious and we did go on vacation together once. His current job was ending and we started to plan out how he could find a new job and rent a apartment in my university's city. The relationship had lasted for 7 months up until I realised he was becoming more distant. When I confronted him he gave me a list of reasons as to why he wanted to break up with me, the majority of them being his own personal issues.

 

The first reason was that he was fed up of commuting 3 hours to my city, and it was very tiring. He told me that I could've been more grateful for his effort, which is something which could've been solved if he had told me this during the relationship. Another reason was that he did not want to move to my city because of the risk that these plans weren't under his terms and that he felt that I could've easily broken up with him and he would be left screwed. I reassured him that this wouldn't have happened and that in relationships some risks have to be taken to be with the person you love but he was still convinced that he shouldn't be taking the risk which meant that he did not trust me for no apparent reason. The last major reason was that he no longer wanted to be in a long distance relationship and there was nothing he could do. He told me I was only good for a short-term relationship and not long-term because I'm currently still a student and could not chip in with any finances. He also told me I didn't show him I loved him enough through affection which also could've been solved if he tried to communicate it to me during the relationship. I told him I still loved him very much and he told me he no longer loved me and that he will never love me again.

 

Now I'm wondering whether this relationship could ever be mended. Is he just stressed from his own personal issues and letting it out on me? Does he really want to start fresh with someone new? Should I stop being stupid and just let go? I want to know other peoples thoughts on this.

[endy]

Let go and find someone better. The main issue that I see... Is that he was not able to lead at all and maybe needed to make more decisions. It looks like you were the one making them to me? So I don't think those are all his "personal" issues. I think that there was no compromise and it seems like you may have had a bit too much control on the relationship and where it was headed. That's just what I see from reading the above, I could be wrong. If my perception is wrong, please correct it. All of those things should have been discussed then he should have made the decision.

 

I'm not blaming you, and the above might come off that way. He has made up his mind. Respect his decision and move on. LDR's rarely work, and in time sure it may be able to be mended, but don't wait for it. Move on and find someone else. Start NC and don't talk to him anymore.

[Tanzi]

Yes you should let it go. He has come up with a lot of reasons why the relationship can't and won't work ... he sounds pretty convinced to me. Above all else, he said that he doesn't love you anymore and will never love you again. You can't get much more final than that. As endy said, all you can do is respect his decision. You need to start letting go of any hope that his decision was based on stress and not on his true feelings and, as hard as it is, you really need to start moving on.

[hrtlsngl7]

This is why I feel LDRs are STOOPID. Let him go. He got more issues than he's letting on. He's cutting the cord and moving on. So should you. His exact words were "Naww, I don't luv you anymore."? That's HARSH.

[onemoretime]

Doesn't matter if it could have been mended. What matters is he didn't want to. For whatever reason he wasn't able to appreciate you enough to put the effort in so he's not right for you. That isn't to say you shouldn't look to sharpen your own relationship skills and also work on things to make you happier, healthier and more attractive, but do it for yourself, not for him.