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Just need honest opinions and some advice.


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After 16 years living with the father of my kids i had the courage to move to U.K with my kiddies,been living here for 5 years now,and honestly i though if i ever get into a relationship i want someone that can be good sensitive ,loyal and all those good things you expect someone to be if you are in a relationship.

So after 3 years on my own i meet my bf ,and honestly i felt the luckiest person on earth,i felt like a teen that was in love for the 1st time ,but we all know that with time we start to show our true colours.

I know im not perfect ,actually im a very emotional.

well going to the point he said he loves me ,but i find out trough someone that he went out with one of his friends and end up having sex with a women who he kept contact for few months,i did ask him and he told me that was a mistake and because he had few drinks,and he add her on fb having me there as his gf add her everywhere.

I cried my heart out,because i do believe im really good to him,we don't live together,but i wash his clothes ,i cook for him and do all kinds of things and support him in every way i can,when he comes to intimacy he tells me that sex with me is the best he ever had,i'm still with him because i believe i love him,but i'm not happy because he does what he wants regardless of how i feel.This one friend he have only go out to hunt women and after what happen, i told him if goes out with him again we will finish,but the problem is i'm to week ,and he does it ,he knows i'm not strong enough to finish.

He rarely takes me out or do anything with me ,i dont have any friends i feel so lonely,i have people telling how good i look and things like that ,but nothing boosts my confidence.

I feel really unhappy ,though of writing here and get some advice i'm confused and don't know what to do




p.s apologise for my English ,is not my 1st launguage


thank you T

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Your English is just fine


I'm sorry that you have found yourself in this situation....thinking love would not find you again and then finding true love after such a difficult past must have been such a joyous time--and now you sound heartbroken....


You described yourself as "weak" and "not strong enough to finish"....but from your past actions: moving alone with your children, setting up a new life, being brave enough to start a new relationship....these are not the acts of a weak woman at all.


My impression of you is that you are very strong But right now you're very sad and frustrated, and that when you get over the initial shock of what has happened and the pain--you will do what's right for you

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I think you fear being alone more than putting up with his cheating ways. He will continue and you will waste more time on him while he uses you as his maid and sexual partner but not respecting you or loving you. Is this what you want? How can being alone be worse than this? Every time he leaves you must wonder what he is up to.


Low self esteem is what some men look for in a woman so they can get them attached to them and then take advantage.


If you feel good about yourself, take good care of yourself and have a good life there will be plenty of men that will want to be with you and actually respect you.


I think you know you need to end this but you are afraid of being alone. Listen when you get a compliment and believe them. I am sure you are very pretty and have a lot of nice qualities so stop being so down on yourself. His treatment of you probably has made you feel worse about yourself hasn't it?


Take control back of your life like you did years ago when you moved to England. You did it once and you can do it again.



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",but i'm not happy because he does what he wants regardless of how i feel"


That is reason enough to be done with him


"I think you fear being alone more than putting up with his cheating ways. He will continue and you will waste more time on him while he uses you as his maid and sexual partner but not respecting you or loving you.


If the first quote wasnt enough then this piece of advice should do the trick. You have had some good points made to you and this one should stick out the most to you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have to agree with the above comments about you being more worried about being alone, this fear is driving you to stay in a relationship that is no good for you.


You say you have no friends and feel lonely, I ask this question of you would, you feel any less alone if he was not there? He is not emotionally involved in your relationship. He is using your insecurities and lack of self worth to use you and give nothing in return. You have the strength to remove yourself from this relationship and move forward with your life, you are not a slave you are human who deserves to be loved and adored for who you are by a man who is totally committed to you.


Your lack of friends is an issue that holds you back from leaving and something you should look to fix, do you have any hobbies? Find a local group to attend, take a class in something. Start looking for local tea/coffee mornings most curches in the uk run something like this, get yourself out there and meet people! You will slowly start to build a support network of friends. Find a single parents support group, find a local group for your nationality which has weekly meetings etc...


You can rebuild your life to be better than you ever imagined you just need to put yourself out there and find ways to meet people, if you are highly emotional seek help for it and find the reasons for this emotion. The worst thing you can do is to sit and worry about your life and do nothing.


Coming on this site was a good step forward for you, it proves you are looking out of this situation and want a change! Do not stop now, find a way to meet like minded people and build up a network of friends and if you want to stay with this guy talk to him about it but stop with the slave labour. You deserve to be loved and care for and if he is not willing to give you this I urge you to leave him and find it somewhere else.


There is a quote and I can not remember who said it but it goes like this, "you are never alone if you like the person you are with". Start building a love for yourself and realise that you deserve every happiness in life, but this will not come unless you take firm and decisive action to make it happen!

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