She Got Engaged

[wildlife97]

So I graduated high school in 2007 and throughout most of my senior year I had the same girlfriend. However during my senior year I met a girl who I really enjoyed being friends with, and after my relationship ended (about March of SR year) I had an attraction to this new girl. Looking back I probably should have asked this new girl to prom, instead I went with my ex. Also looking back I know that this girl was extremely jealous (maybe even hated) my girlfriend at the time.

 

Well the summer of 2008 came and everybody was home from college and me and this girl actually started to hang out and talk more. I took her to a baseball game, got the best seats in the house, paid for her and basically treated her like a princess, when we left the game she said she felt like a “high roller” and said it was an awesome date. At the time I never really thought of it as a date, mainly because I didn’t know if she liked me. A couple days later one of my friends asked her how the game was and she said it was awesome and that she was “treated like royalty”. Well we hungout a couple times and talked non-stop before we headed back to school, she said some things that led me to think that there was possibly something more between us, but nothing really concrete. We hungout around Halloween (2008 ) when we were both home (corn maze with a couple other couples), then again around Christmas break, in fact she actually invited me to go to Christmas mass with her family but I had to work.

 

This entire time I really liked the girl, however I never really thought she had those same feelings. She is the outgoing, social, popular type and I was more of the shy, introverted type. Looking back at the things said she said to me in high school then the times we have hungout since then she couldn’t have been more obvious that she liked me, but I was basically oblivious to it. About this time last year I found out from a mutual friend of ours that she actually did like me back when we were hanging out with each other. Now most people would just laugh and shrug it off (like I’ve done in similar situations) but I really liked this girl. I always said that if there was one girl I would want to be with it was her because she has basically everything I like in a girl. She doesn’t really get a lot of attention from guys, she’s 6’1” and is a college basketball player so I’m guessing most guys are afraid of the height issue and just see her as “one of the guys”. In fact when we were hanging out I figured she just saw me as “one of the guys”, obviously I was wrong. However I’m 6’2 and I am really attracted to her so there’s none of those issues that most guys would have with her.

 

I haven’t even seen/talked to her since like April 2009, she goes to school about 12 hours a way so it’s not like I can take a quick trip and see her. The only thing I’ve heard from her since is that she told me happy birthday and she missed me. She’s been home several times since but has never said anything to me. She’s basically been the “one that got away” for me, out of all the girls I really liked I wish I could have been with her. My sister and her sister are about to graduate from the same high school next week so I will probably see her at graduation. I was kind of hoping that maybe we could meet up and go to dinner and catch-up and maybe something could happen from there. Then this Monday I found out that she had gotten engaged on that day (to her boyfriend of 5 months max). Hearing that she was engaged really hurt, I have been through a lot of emotional stuff with an ex the past 4 years and I thought I had been through a lot but hearing that she was engaged has been the most emotional/sad thing I have ever been through.

 

I just don’t know how to feel…..

[wildlife97]

can somebody say something.... lol

[abitbroken]

Well..if a girl continues to accept dates with you and invites you to mass with her family...it is pretty certain that she likes you. She even called your date a date. I think you assumed that she would never be taken because other guys would be intimidated by her height or that you didn't see her get a lot of male attention. I think the next time you "like" someone - don't let stuff get in the way. Try to interpret the "signs" and also - if they are 12 hours a way at school .... meet halfway. or take a 45 minute plane ride. She might have gotten the vibe that you liked her, but you just probably needed to make the extra effort to tell her that you liked her, or made the gesture of trying to talk to her or see her during the school year.

 

Just be happy for her and take it as lesson to make your intentions known when you meet someone new that you really care about. We all have someone who got away.

 

The other tactic you could take is pretending to not have heard the news and ask to see her and let her tell you herself. Tell her fiancee that he's a very lucky guy. But don't create a situation where you make her feel guilty.

 

If you see her, say hello - don't treat her like she as the plague.

[Ms Darcy]

Sometimes when we feel such strong connections to people from the past, it's because we are not having those same bonds in our everyday lives.

[21YD]

be happy for her, and thats that.

 

i guess she waited for you to make the move but you never did... soo.. she moved on.