A million times better. Thanks guys =D

[Beluga23]

Thanks for all the support that I've received from you guys on ENA. I was able to tell you guys how I felt, when I couldn't tell anyone else... and I am so thankful for your support.

 

The first few days after the breakup were rough.. because I kept blaming myself... what did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? What could I have done better?

 

Against everything, I broke NC (I know that's strongly not advised,) but I am really happy that I did. It turned out that my ex had never trusted me. He accused me of so many crazy scenarios that only happened in his head. I realized that... it wasn't me... it was him. HE didn't trust me. HE made up a million lies about me in his head so that he could make me feel worse about myself, and make himself feel superior. HE didn't want to be happy, so he never was... at the same time, he wanted me to feel as horrible as he was. That is not a healthy scenario.

 

So, I let him go. He's out of my life for good... and I don't need to go back to someone toxic like that. I want to spend my time with people who are amazing and deserve my time. I'm NOT a glutton for punishment.

[italiannmf24]

It's good to hear that you've learned not to self-blame. It's harder for some to get to that stage of healing than others.

 

Kuddos!

[ferna3069]

man this is the same thing that happened with me. my ex gfs mom said so many things about me in the beggining things only my ex and i knew. i didnt feel like i had to explain until they found this site. well her mom answerd a question on yahoo saying things that never ever even happened. that how i finally felt like i was off the hook. like it wasnt me who did that bad.