How do you deal with roommates who are ..um...noisy?

[abitbroken]

A relative and his fiance are currently living with me. I at first thought it would be awkward living with an engaged couple. It is only temporary (they will be moving out in 2 months), and the layout is such that we aren't right on top of each other. i try to stay out of their way - doing computer work in my room when they have dinner together (they work odd shifts so don't always get to do it).

 

Anyway, the dilemma is that a few times now they have been very loud, if you know what I mean. I thought about dealing with it in a couple different ways

 

1) Say nothing - grin and bear it and try to concentrate on my work or listen to music. (it is to the point that my dog was very upset by the noise, though)

 

2) Ask my relative what nights they are home together and tell him that I will be at the coffee shop, etc, those nights. (they are in bed by 10 because of their shifts and the coffee shop closes at 11). Either say nothing or tell them that its so they can have the place to themselves - have an evening alone. Be upbeat and positive about it. It would only be 2-3 nights.

 

3) Knock on the ceiling or wall - "keep it down up there!" to both of them.

 

4) Say to my relative " btw, just fyi. I heard you guys last niht. could you try to keep it down?"

 

What would you do in the situation?

[Hurting85]

I would just casually mention it. I don't see why you should have to go out of your way to not be home. Even if they turned a radio or TV on to help drown out the sound some.

[ferna3069]

I would just casually mention it. I don't see why you should have to go out of your way to not be home. Even if they turned a radio or TV on to help drown out the sound some.

 

true u shouldnt have to go out of your way dont do number three haha. but mention it casualt

[8amallday]

That sounds like an awkward situation!

I'm not sure what would be best, but personally, I would mention it to them. Let them know that it has been kind of loud and all that. I'd even mention the visibly shaken dog! I mean, what is the worst that can happen? If they're rational humans, I'm sure that the relative will apologize and tell you that they will keep it at a lower volume.

Best of luck to you!

[abitbroken]

I would just casually mention it. I don't see why you should have to go out of your way to not be home. Even if they turned a radio or TV on to help drown out the sound some.

 

I know...I shouldn't have to leave. But I know on the forum some roommates who both have guys or girls sometimes work it out where one of them is not home one night to give the other full privacy to be alone, etc. and maybe the other does the same. I didn't know if it was something I should do. I mean, I am always here at night. My bf works a different shift so we get together at a different time. Its not a typical situation where I'd be the roommate out with my friends at night most of the time. I guess they DO have fridays and saturdays mostly alone because that is when my bf and i are mostly together, but then they are not together both those days. Call me overconsiderate or just not wanting to "hear" them. Yeesh

 

Guess I just want to be the bigger person here and not make it an issue.

[RedDress]

I agree. I think just pulling one of them aside and having a quick chat will do. You don't have to make an issue of it.

 

The easiest way, IMO, to get the point accross without making them feel awkward or as if it's an issue is humour and teasing.

 

Example conversation:

 

You: "So... ah... you were having a good time last night, eh? "Ah! Ah! Ah!"... hahaha... you were scaring the dog! LOL"

Him/Her: OMG! Could you hear us?

You: Yup. Haha... you were really going at it. Could you keep it down a bit?

 

If you approach it as if it's not an issue just a little "FYI - I can hear you", they should have the common courtesy of keeping it down or at least try to mask it. They probably don't even realize that you can hear them. I'd simply let them in on the information that you can hear them and give them the opportunity to react to it.

 

If you don't approach it as an issue (but rather as an FYI), it shouldn't be an issue.

[abitbroken]

Based on the person's personality, I would not use humor or try to make a joke out of it. They would retaliate and say something about me at a family gathering, etc. I would think. I think approaching it low key would probably be good. Still undecided about talking to him privately about keeping it down - or giving them a night alone so I didn't have to hear it and it didn't make them uncomfortable at the same time.

[pinkelephant]

I'd make a joke about it and embarrass them a little lol. Say something like, had a good night last night? and just laugh. Chances are, they'll have the decency to be embarrassed.

[regular joe]

Based on the person's personality, I would not use humor or try to make a joke out of it. They would retaliate and say something about me at a family gathering, etc. I would think. I think approaching it low key would probably be good. Still undecided about talking to him privately about keeping it down - or giving them a night alone so I didn't have to hear it and it didn't make them uncomfortable at the same time.

 

I don't know why you feel worried about saying something and as the other's have said being nice about it. No offense they are staying with you and not the other way around. After all it is your place so if anyone should be inconvenienced it definitely shouldn't be you

[abitbroken]

I don't know why you feel worried about saying something and as the other's have said being nice about it. No offense they are staying with you and not the other way around. After all it is your place so if anyone should be inconvenienced it definitely shouldn't be you

 

Well..yes and no. I am actually taking care of a relative's place. I pay nominal rent in exchange for taking care of their pets, etc., while they are away on active duty. I was here first, but the person overseas brokered this with everyone's approval because it was temporary. So I do sort of have a say because I'm in charge more or less. They are moving in 2 months, I will be here for a little bit after that.

 

So far we have not had the same schedule so I haven't been able to say anything. Oh, when we did see eachother my mom had been in town for a visit and came here for 3 hours and that would have been way awkward.

 

I am going to be away with my boyfriend tomorrow so hopefully that will give them plenty of time for whatever they want to do, and I will talk to them when I get back. I will let you know what happens.

[Snny]

LOL, sounds like my life when I was living away for college.

 

I had NICE subwoofer speakers to my computer for nights like those to not hear it. Telling them to stop... they will look at you like you're crazy. They're engaged and they are going to screw regardless of what you say. It is what it is- people will do whatever when they are horny. My fiance and I told our own roommates to deal with it, blast the music, and pay no attention to what we do behind closed doors.