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he deleted my number. why?


LOLA MD

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my ex deleted my number. he has been calling me on a regular basis, a month ago he stopped after I refused to answer.

 

I called him today because I missed him and wanted to work things out.

 

He said "Who is this? I don't recognize your number."

 

After I told him it was me, he didn't respond anymore.

](*,)

 

why would he delete my number? im so upset and angry.

 

help me understand.

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It was his way of moving on. Who ended it you or him? My ex broke up with me, and through my healing process I have to remove things that remind me of her belongings, items, pictures, numbers....its part of the healing process.

 

There are clearly some hearts broken, whether it was yours, his, or both. I agree, but at the same time, he knew you refused to answer. Maybe he took that as a sign of moving on. I think you should move on, if he's not willing. If you still want to pursue him, ask yourself a few questions: Do you miss being with him, or do you miss the relationship? And is he worth more pain while you're attempting to win him back?

 

Remember, sometimes you win some, but sometimes, you lose them.

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dont beat yourself up for this. if her broke up with you. you had to go no contact. thats a good thing. i did the same with my ex. well i told her i needed a month to heal. she text me. i did not answer. 22 days later i text her. ask her if she wants me in her life. it he was the dumper. he was most likly trying to take the guilt out for leaving you. well its better that you did not answer. just go on and heal. dont be scared to let go . i know we all are. but you have to for your own sanity

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I don't want to hear that... I don't want him to move on... I am the one who he hurt..I didn't do anything wrong to him. It was all an misunderstanding. I always thought that if he wanted to be with me he would. i'll just die if he moves on...

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no thats not what i want. i dont want to move on. i dont want him to move on. i am so sick of failed relationships and getting hurt so much. i cannot take it. i cannot. its making my physically ill. i will not date anyone again. i rather be lonely than broken hearted.

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Well, you were refusing to answer him. You're saying you're angry now, but how do you think he felt when you didn't answer his calls before. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything, but things can't always be on your terms.

 

i know that was immature of me. but i was angry at him. i just wanted him to be honest with me but he refused so i thought if i refuse to speak to him he'll get it. but i was wrong so wrong.

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Playing games will get you nowhere fast. I'm sorry you had to learn that the hard way, chalk it up to a lesson learned. One day you will want to date again and you'll be armed with the information that I just gave you.

 

If you want someone, be real with them. Say what you mean and mean what you say!

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no thats not what i want. i dont want to move on. i dont want him to move on. i am so sick of failed relationships and getting hurt so much. i cannot take it. i cannot. its making my physically ill. i will not date anyone again. i rather be lonely than broken hearted.

 

In my opinion, one, you need to take a breather. Just sit down and breathe for a moment.

 

Two, It sucks to be a failed relationships and getting hurt left and right, but you know what? None of us do.

 

Three, honestly, it takes two to tango, hon. You need to move on. Yeah, there's that terrible saying, "plenty of fish out in the sea" (hate that phrase to death), but maybe it's not about being relationship right now. You're young and everything is at your feet. Reroute you focus on something that's about you, instead of finding way to be "a half of a whole" type deal.

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I don't want to hear that... I don't want him to move on... I am the one who he hurt..I didn't do anything wrong to him. It was all an misunderstanding. I always thought that if he wanted to be with me he would. i'll just die if he moves on...

 

You ignored his calls for months. Why are you surprised he's trying to move on? You can't expect people in your life to wait until you have a change of heart. If you were serious about reconciling you would have acted sooner. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but that's the truth. If I broke up with a guy and he ignored my calls for an extended period of time, I'd be taking that as sign that I need to move on.

 

It's tough, but try to take this as a learning experience for next time. Silent treatments are not healthy and rarely achieve anything.

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it was only for a month! not months.

 

this was a mistake.

 

people don't get it. i LOVE HIM. I don't want to love anyone else.

 

everyone on here is so wrong. i am not the one who left him. i didn't try to ignore him on purpose i just didn't know what else to do after SO MANY FAILED ATTEMPTS at getting him to SPEAK TO ME HONESTLY about our problems so we could work it out.

 

thats not true. i always wanted to work it out don't tell me i should've called sooner... i needed a break.

 

this is not fair.

 

seriously wishing to die right now.... i don't care anymore. nothing made me feel better...

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mods- please delete my post. this is SERIOUSLY only making things worse for me.

 

i will call him again and ask him to speak to me because I believe in love and working it out unlike some of you who just believe in giving up

 

Your initial question in this thread asked why he would delete your number. You asked this question immediately after mentioning that you have been ignoring his calls for a month. Whether you want to believe it or not, those two things are likely connected. Ignoring someone for such a length of time has consequences. While some people might not move on, some might.

 

You're more than welcome to continue with your reconciliation efforts, and I wish you all the best. But honestly I think you're being rather immature and self-centred with how you're viewing this situation. "Don't tell me I should have called sooner...I needed a break. This is not fair. Why would he delete my number and try to move on?!?!?" is basically what you're saying. It's self-centred. You're not the only one in the picture here. He has feelings too, and he may have already moved on as he wasn't willing to wait around through your silent treatment. Sometimes the truth hurts, and it's better to listen to it than tell people to stop talking about it because it hurts or sounds "unfair".

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I'm glad he called you if thats what you wanted! I disagree with most of the other posters anyway... I guess it doesn't matter now that you've heard from him, but to me it sounded like he may have known it was you and just said that to get a reaction out of you. As in, possibly he didn't delete your number, but said he did, or did delete it but still recognized it was you because it's hard to forget numbers of people we've had relationships with. Either way, sorry you got such negative answers, hope it works out in one way or another.

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  • 5 years later...

I just deleted my ex's number tonight after a heart-wrenching three months of watching move on with another guy (she lives upstairs from me.....yeah, I know.....)

 

I had to do it. The daily temptation to call her has been eating away at me. My hands literally trembled as I did it, but I know it was the right thing to do....

 

I have to move on.....

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