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Do women ever compare their BF/Husband with past sexual partner


soporcogitavi
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Im looking for an honest opinion from women here.

 

Do you ever compare how good your man is in bed with past sexual partners, flings, relationships, etc?

 

My Fiance has been with more partners then myself, some of them ONS, others relationships. I guess i have an insecurity about how good her last partners or ONS' were in bed and I wonder if im as good or if she ever thinks of this. I know before we met she had a few ONS and one of the guys she saw for awhile, she had no interest in having a relationship with him, from some of the details or info I got, i get the impression that she was with him because he was good in bed and she was lonely at the time. Ive heard many women say they dont compare, but I wonder if this is really the truth.

 

I wonder if she ever thinks: that guy was good in bed or he was better in bed then X.

 

Does this ever cross your mind?

Edited by soporcogitavi
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I wonder about this myself sometimes. I too, was married alot longer, and single alot less time than my fiancee. She has told me she's had a few flings, ONS, and a friend with benefits after she got divorced - I've even met a couple of them as well as her ex, so the graphic is there even more so. It would bother me a bit if I let it, but I've learned to live with it.

On the other hand, She tells me often that our sex is "amazing" and that I bring her to a place she's never been with a man.

I believe we share true intimacy and an intense connection. More so than I had with my ex (here I go comparing lol). That alone is enough to give me confidence that she's not thinking of someone else when we're making love.

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So should I have reason to be insecure about this? What if this "other" guy was better then me in bed, could she be thinking about that and wishing I was better? If that is the case

 

Well, it's probably not doing you any good wondering about it, right? She might be, she may not be...do you feel that the sex you have with her is bad, or that she doesn't like it?

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Well, it's probably not doing you any good wondering about it, right? She might be, she may not be...do you feel that the sex you have with her is bad, or that she doesn't like it?

 

I feel the sex we have is very good and I believe so does she, I know sometimes she has an orgasm multiple times. We sometimes talk about things we like and she always says I do everything. I think the subject came up once before and she said haveing sex with me cannot be compare to anyone else, because she's in love with me. Its still something I think about though and wonder about.

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I think everybody has their top three of best partners ever. But for me, fantastic, wild sex hasn't come in the package of the best partner.

 

So yes, even though I may still reminisce about a better lover than you, it doesn't mean I'd want to be with him over you. Maybe with you, though. (JK!!)

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I feel the sex we have is very good and I believe so does she, I know sometimes she has an orgasm multiple times. We sometimes talk about things we like and she always says I do everything. I think the subject came up once before and she said haveing sex with me cannot be compare to anyone else, because she's in love with me. Its still something I think about though and wonder about.

 

I understand wondering if she does, and the honest answer is yes, probably. I think everyone compares everything in a relationship with prior ones, to varying degrees. But, she's with you, she's in love with you, and she's your fiance`...she's told it can't be compared with others, and she obviously likes it if you're continuing to do it, so I wouldn't worry about it. At all. She's with YOU...that's what matters.

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I'm pretty sure every girl is going to compare, and guys know it. I had sex with a guy who always asked if he was the best or if he was second or third best or whatever, and he always stated that he didn't care what I said, he just wanted to know. It was such an awkward question because he wasn't the best, but his personality at the time was definitely the best out of the others, which is what I cared about. That isn't what he wanted to hear of course, but I didn't know what to say - "Oh, you're definitely the best" or "Eh, there was a guy who was a little better than you but you're a close second"? No. I just got out of the question by changing the subject to what he does that I really liked. The thing is, I don't really think a girl would take a guy who was great in bed who had a crappy personality over someone who wasn't as good in bed but who she wants to marry. No matter what she thinks or talks about with her friends, she's chosen to marry you, so there is absolutely no reason for you to even ponder this.

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There's nothing you can do to change who you are in bed, so stop trying to rationalize it...you already treat her well, and she likes who you are, so why are you so concerned?

 

Chances are it's the woman, and not the man, who determeins who was the best sex in their life - and that sex is determined by far more than just the physical act itself or anything specific that you do.

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So what makes a specific partner stand out in bed? What do they do that makes them the best?

 

It's not universal. Some women don't even like well-endowed guys because it hurts too much. Personally I prefer 'bigger' guys, but I've had great sex with less well-endowed men who were enthusiastic about finding other ways to compensate.

 

If you're concerned about pleasing your partner, then I assume you're already an attentive and generous lover. The next best thing to do is ask her about her sexual fantasies, or things she's always wanted to try. Maybe she's shy and you can buy her a book ("My Secret Garden" is classic, but there are likely more recent others - even a book of erotica could be fun). A partner of either gender who is eager to learn their mate's likes/dislikes and willing to experiment always gets gold stars in my book.

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So what makes a specific partner stand out in bed? What do they do that makes them the best?

 

There's nothing you can do to make yourself stand out. It's a situation of having crazy chemistry, or not.

 

Your GF has a very good point, though. Hot, crazy, wild sex is one thing - and will make a guy stand out. BUT, if we're in love with you, it's a whole different game.

 

Stop torturing yourself. It's these kinds of self-sabotaging thoughts that can create wedges and issues.

 

Sounds like you have a good thing going, so embrace that.

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