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Life in the Driver's Seat


Seraphim

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Does your mom lock her stuff away now, so she doesn't "lose" any more valuables?

 

Glad to see that your son is branching out and trying stuff on his own.

Oh yeah. Her bedroom and the door to the freezer have been locked almost a year now I think. The stuff went missing about a year ago now. But the kid continues to blow sunshine up my mom's backside. She realizes now she went far too far. My mom said she will keep her until she is 16 but no longer. She has almost 100% made up her mind. She said the child is ruining her life and she is not putting up with it anymore. So in 6 months when she is 16 she can go. Then my mom is selling her house and moving to a condo and she will be done with fostering. She said 14 years was enough. At 68 she wants to enjoy what is left of her life.

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My husband is a HUGE hockey fan. He used to play as a kid and coached later. Then he played on several work teams. But my husband LOVES sports I mean INSANE about any sport. My son is not really a sports fan but he is liking it. But we would not be Canadians if we didn't love hockey....lol

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I still remember the comment my mother-in-law made about me not being as good as her children. I wasn't as good as her children because I didn't have an important job. I wasn't as good as her daughter because her daughter is a teacher. Waaaaaa?! Excuse me there princess at least somebody didn't have to drag my butt through life. I hate to tell you this but without me your son would've committed suicide long time ago. And he would never have made it out of University in the first place. I held his hand through the entire four years with him crying and blubbering . And why was he crying and blubbering? Because you made him such an anxiety .ridden .nutcase. Full stop . ( no offense to anybody with anxiety ,I have it too. But you would've had to have seen my husband at that stage to understand exactly what I meant) And as for your daughter ? You mean that person who lived at home for free with you powdering her backside until she was 36 ? Yeah that girl? You mean the one who you recently told me was going to quit being a teacher in first year except for the two people holding her hand while she cried and blubbered? That girl? Yeah that's right Princess , sure they are " better" than me.

 

That B finds every way to insult me.

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Thank goodness for my husband this morning! He took me into entirely a new headspace. While he was getting ready for work we talked about our son's future. We both have some reservations that he might be able to make it on his own. We both agree though that he is self-confident in his own abilities. Which is good. And my husband said something incredibly important he said "try not to look at him as disabled but rather as "differently abled." He will find his niche in life.

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I always want to laugh when people ask if childbirth was traumatic for men. I guess for some men ,yes, sure it is. But if you based on anything on my husband when our first son was born... He couldn't have been more disinterested if he had been in a coma. The only part he cared about was that his child was a boy. That he was over the moon about. Anything I had to endure during childbirth he was in a coma about and could not have cared less. Even when the alarms were going off on the fetal monitor showing our son was in deep distress had no effect on him whatsoever. He was reading a book while I begged him to call for the nurse. So I screamed for the nurse. And the nurse put in an emergency call for the pediatric resident. My son's heart rate dropped into the 40s.

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Nice work. I really love homemade blankets like that.

 

I still have my knitted baby blanket and crocheted baby's dress my grandma made for my post-baptism party. Since I never did get to know that grandma (she passed away when I was one), it's really nice having something like that to remember her, in a way. Makes me feel connected to her somehow.

 

Homemade blankets and such always make me think of the person who made them and gave them to me. It's super nice (and sorta makes me feel warm and fuzzy) seeing that you are continuing on the tradition.

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Nice work. I really love homemade blankets like that.

 

I still have my knitted baby blanket and crocheted baby's dress my grandma made for my post-baptism party. Since I never did get to know that grandma (she passed away when I was one), it's really nice having something like that to remember her, in a way. Makes me feel connected to her somehow.

 

Homemade blankets and such always make me think of the person who made them and gave them to me. It's super nice (and sorta makes me feel warm and fuzzy) seeing that you are continuing on the tradition.

 

Awwww thank you. I am glad to know you still cherish your items made by your grandma. I have made my neices many items and hope they feel the same.

 

It is funny though my mom does not crochet or knit or sew or anything like that. Nor did my nana. But my Nana's oldest sister was an outstanding seamstress. But my nana and mom were never interested. My step grandma taught me to knit when I was 7. And I taught myself to crochet .

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Yup I KNEW I wasn't crazy!! I suffer from this.

 

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Types of Visual Problems and Anxiety

There are many types of vision problems that can be connected with anxiety. If you find it difficult to see clearly, notice flashes or visual “snow,” or feel like lights

Types of Visual Problems and Anxiety

There are many types of vision problems that can be connected with anxiety. If you find it difficult to see clearly, notice flashes or visual “snow,” or feel like lights become too bright when you are anxious, it doesn’t necessarily mean there is something wrong with your eyes: these can be part of the body’s natural anxiety response (as inconvenient as they may be). In situations where fear is called for, they can actually help you, which is one reason to feel less anxious about your visual problems.

This article will discuss the various types of visual problems that can be associated with anxiety, why they occur, and how to prevent them.

Visual Problems = Anxiety?

Anxiety isn't going to cause blindness or any lasting eye damage, but it most certainly can create several eye/visual issues that you'll need help to control. Find out more by taking my free 7 minute anxiety test now.

 

 

Visual Problems Associated With Anxiety

If you experience any of these visual problems during your anxiety attacks, you are not alone. Many people experience visual problems when they suffer from profound anxiety. Learn more about your own anxiety with my free anxiety test, and read on to find out which you may have experienced, and why they occur.

Light Sensitivity – Light sensitivity can be caused by anxiety due to a temporary dilation, or enlargement, of the pupil. Pupil dilation occurs when the body believes it has a reason to be afraid, as part of its fight or flight response. This is one reason why scary movies often use special effects to give scary creatures or people eyes that are black, or all pupil: it triggers a fear response in us. When your pupils dilate, they let more light in, improving your vision and helping you catch little visual details that may be useful to you in evading or combating the trigger.

WHAT TO DO: A short term fix for light sensitivity are sunglasses, and some eye drops that are designed to decrease light sensitivity in the short term. However, it may be easier just to wait until the symptom passes, as lying down in a dimly lit room will both be easy on your eyes and may help you to relax.

Blurry Vision – If the world seems to become blurry and you find that you are suddenly unable to see faces or read signs clearly, this can also by a symptom of anxiety. It can be caused by an increase in blood pressure and/or hyperventilation, and is often accompanied by dizziness and sometimes nausea. Blurred vision occurs because your system is being flooded with more oxygen than it needs, and is trying to alert you of an imbalance. It may also have to do with pupil dilation, the symptom mentioned above, which can lead to your eyes being overwhelmed with light and unable to focus.

WHAT TO DO: Avoid driving or operating heavy machinery while experiencing this symptom, as it is similar to a symptom of drunkenness and keeps you from getting all the visual information you need to operate safely.

Tunnel Vision – When you are experiencing anxiety, "tunnel vision" - or the sense that you can only see whatever you are looking directly at (with the peripheral part of your vision fading or disappearing entirely) - can make you feel even more anxious. In reality, it’s just your eyes eliminating your awareness any stimulus around you that may be unnecessary to dealing with the problem at hand, and keeping you from getting distracted. Remember, anxiety is the activation of your fight or flight system – a system for keeping you safe from danger. Tunnel vision can actually be helpful if you're in danger, and is simply a nuisance when you're not. Your body figures that whatever is triggering your anxiety, you can’t afford to waste energy or vision on anything else.

WHAT TO DO: The only way to really cure tunnel vision (if it is being temporarily caused by anxiety and not by a larger problem) is to relax. Don’t try to fight the problem, and try not to panic about it: it is, after all, a temporary problem, and will fade after a few minutes.

“Visual Snow” – This is the common term for a visual effect that obscures your sight with what appears as “snow,” or an effect similar to the look of television static. While doctors aren’t sure what exactly causes visual snow, they now know that it is not simply an after-effect (as was previously thought) of recreational drug use. For some people the sudden onset of visual snow can actually be a cause of anxiety attacks.

WHAT TO DO: If you experience visual snow exclusively as an accompaniment to anxiety, the best thing to do is to remember that it is a harmless side effect and not a sign of anything worse. If, however, you are experiencing persistent visual snow that does not often abate, talk to your doctor to be sure your eyes are healthy and there are no other underlying problems.

Seeing “Flashes” of Light – This symptom often accompanies light sensitivity, and can be your eyes attempting to adapt when they feel they are being exposed to too much light. They may also be caused by an increase in heart rate and/or dehydration: you may have noticed that when you run or exercise for an extended period of time you see similar flashes of light when you stop. When your body is being taxed, it will try and warn you that it is struggling and try to get you to relax so that it can adjust.

WHAT TO DO: Be considerate of your body and give it a moment to relax. It is best to sit down or lie down while the flashes last to encourage your heart rate to return to normal, and to avoid hurting yourself due to impaired vision.

Feeling like your body is malfunctioning can be hard to handle, and unexpected visual changes can actually have the effect of increasing anxiety if you don’t know what’s going on or how to fix it. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to keep from experiencing the anxiety attacks that lead to these visual problems.

How to Prevent Visual Problems Caused By Anxiety

Preventing visual problems caused by anxiety is usually a matter of preventing the anxiety itself. However, there are also things you’ll want to avoid during your anxiety attack to decrease the likelihood of these symptoms occurring.

Drink Lots of Water – Drinking water will help keep you hydrated and prevent your body from being additionally taxed by the anxiety attack.

Turn off the Lights – Too much visual stimulus can make the visual problems that accompany anxiety more severe. Helping you eyes “calm down” and stop overreacting will have the added benefit of helping you calm down.

Sit/Lie Down – When you feel yourself getting anxious and you know visual problems may crop up, it’s best not to be doing anything that requires visual acuity. If you happen to be driving, this means pull over. Being in the middle of something when you get anxious can have the effect of making you more anxious about how it is affecting what you are doing, which can subsequently worsen your vision. Also, getting plenty of rest and relaxing or meditating in a sitting position once a day can make you calmer overall and decrease the frequency of you anxiety attacks.

No Caffeine – Put down that soda or coffee you were working on, and if possible avoid caffeinated beverages altogether. Caffeine just increases your heart rate and puts additional pressure on your system. Do yourself a favor and stick to decaf coffee, sodas and teas.

It can be hard to cope with visual problems when you are already experiencing the other mental and physical effects of anxiety, but knowing that you are not alone and taking preventative steps can help to stop visual problems before they start and make your anxiety more manageable.

You should also start addressing your anxiety at its root source. Take my free 7 minute anxiety test to find out more about how anxiety affects you and what you can do to control it.

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Rape is one of the only crimes were society blames the victim. If you are robbed or have your car stolen or have your house broken into nobody blames you. But if you are raped somebody always has to question you. What were you wearing? Did you have a drink? Where you in a questionable neighbourhood? Like any of that friggin matters.

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And victim blaming is exactly why women and men don't report sexual assault. People need to really think about that. People all say report it report it report it. And then in the next breath they condemn someone who actually has the bravery to speak about it. Makes sense right ????

 

And the next time you want to victim blame think about your own child being raped and what you will tell your child. You visualizing in your mind viewing your child and you standing there victim blaming. Because that is exactly what you are doing.

 

People commit suicide over victim blaming you know? They feel emotionally terrorized for years because of victim blaming.

 

 

STOP VICTIM BLAMING.

 

And it is so pervasive and so insidious that people don't even realize that they're doing it.

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