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Life in the Driver's Seat

Seraphim

By Seraphim
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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Hey ladies thank you for the support. I know you are right. I just get emotionally rejected by him over and over, my whole life. And he does it without even thinking about me but it is done in effort to hurt my mother. He has always done that, hurt his children to hurt my mom. Because he knows it tears her up inside.

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luminousone Grand Master

luminousone

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Thinking of you, Vic! Hope you got some sleep last night. I bet you used your breathing and meditations.

 

As CC said, it is all out of your control. What you CAN do is focus on the positives with gratitude.

 

Here are some positives as I see it:

 

Your brother will be free from a very selfish and dysfunctional wife

 

Your in-laws have strong wills and tenacity and spunk which have served them well up to now. ( grasping a bit here...). I guess you can focus on the fact that they are still alive.

 

Your dad, hmmm...

 

He sounds like he is in an altered reality right now. His attention with your cousin may not even be welcome.

 

I think the positive to focus on is that you have an amazing stepdad whom you love and who loves you.

 

Today look around and focus on sweet little positive things. When your mind drifts to the heavy stuff then balance it out with gratitude for life, for music, for your faith and church community, for your health, for your son and husband, etc.

 

As far as your in-laws, can you call the police to make them leave? Are they invited elsewhere for Christmas dinner? You guys did your best in the situation.

 

Don't know what to say about your dad- just love him no matter how he is and send him loving thoughts.

 

BIG HUGS!

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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It is just another Christmas in the trenches I tell ya. And the cherry on top happened yesterday when my mother said that my brother said that the ex hag wanted to come over for Christmas because she didn't want to miss her daughters on Christmas Day. And my mother told my brother NO. If it comes to a choice between my daughter and her, my daughter wins every time. She also said why the hell would she want to come here on Christmas Day so that everybody's Christmas can be absolutely miserable?

 

Then my brother showed up in the middle of the night(11:30 )to say he been kicked out. She kicked him out because he didn't fix the crack in the foundation of the house caused by the sub pump failure because there was no power. He said to her ,"what apparently I'm a contractor now?" He said "I had to go to work and besides the ground is frozen I can't dig it up." And now she wants him to pay for the foundation. And he said all I thought you told me this was your house no sorry you can pay for it. And then she said "you get out of my house" and he went "that's fine with me I want don't want to sleep in a wet basement anyway."

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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I can't believe it. The Ex hag is having my oldest niece call around looking for my brother because my brother ignored exes text that she was sorry for throwing him out. The child KNOWS how to get a hold of her father. All she has to do is text him. But no the hag is phoning and texting around because she said my niece wants to go to the mall to buy a special present for her mommy. Oh please that is so phony it is disgusting.

 

And she's extremely mad and insulted that my brother is not going to her parent's Christmas Eve party tonight. He's coming here instead.

 

LISTEN ,HEAD CASE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED ANYMORE . YOU ARE NOT GOING TO VISIT EACH OTHER'S PARENTS. SO GET IT OUT OF YOUR STUPID HEAD.

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zentoCC Collaborator

zentoCC

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She suckered him!!!!!! She said if he came to her parents she would sign his monetary agreement. She IS NOT GOING TO SIGN IT!!!!

 

Wow Vic you sound really angry, not that I blame you, remember to think about yourself too it's Christmas try not to get too stressed.

 

And put yourself in your brothers shoes he wants to get things done as easily as possible, even if it doesn't work out he knows he's tried and it's something she can't use against him. Plus you said her family loves him so he probably doesn't feel too unsafe there. I'm sure he needs support at this time, which I'm sure your doing, but we make stupid mistakes sometimes in our own lives because it's hard to see clearly.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Wow Vic you sound really angry, not that I blame you, remember to think about yourself too it's Christmas try not to get too stressed.

 

And put yourself in your brothers shoes he wants to get things done as easily as possible, even if it doesn't work out he knows he's tried and it's something she can't use against him. Plus you said her family loves him so he probably doesn't feel too unsafe there. I'm sure he needs support at this time, which I'm sure your doing, but we make stupid mistakes sometimes in our own lives because it's hard to see clearly.

 

Thank you. Hugs.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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How is the new little one doing??

 

I have no idea. I guess I will find out when my mom talks her brother. The little one is her brother's great-grandson. My cousin had her first daughter when she was 16. So now her daughter is 21. But my cousin waited until she was in her 30s to have her other two kids.

 

But 23 years ago my father broke up my aunt and uncle's marriage and went to live with my aunt and my cousins. He did that just to pay my mother back because she didn't love him anymore and wanted to finally leave him for the rest of her life. So for 15 years my dad told my cousins lies.He told them that we didn't love them ,that we hated them that we told lies about them. They are too embarrassed to face family members because their mother and my father were brother - in- law and sister-in-law. So my cousin who became the grandmother I have seen her once in 23 years. And I have met her oldest daughter once. I met her daughter when her daughter was six. One of my other female cousins I last saw her when she was 17. She's 32 now. Their oldest sister who is 42 I have seen her maybe five times. And their oldest brother who is 46 I've seen him about five times. The baby of my cousins who is 30 I have seen him a lot but that is because he has Down's Syndrome very severely and he lives with his dad.

 

But my father took away my cousins on both sides of my family. I didn't get to see my cousins on my father's side because they took my father's side and hated my mother and I was treated as an extension of my mother. And I lost my cousins on my mother's side because my father lived with their mother.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Of course my in-laws are sick now. You stubbornly refused to leave your sub zero house for four days and you want us to come tomorrow . You think you will be better tomorrow ? My husband finally stood up to them and said " you are sick because you were stubborn . No. We can't come tomorrow . We head home tomorrow." So they said, " fine whatever come today."

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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Parkinson's is awful. My grandpa has it and he has managed it really well until the last couple of years.

 

Haha they are just being children I guess.

 

Yeah my father-in-law's only had it for about five years but is progressing really fast. His balance is way off and he trips himself all the time. In fact he fell about a month ago and really hurt his knee but he still won't use his cane like he is supposed to.

 

But now he has mental confusion and his memory is completely shot. Last night after we had made the reservation for the restaurant in the hour before he asked a total of 37 times when the reservation was. And that was only ONE of the 7 issues he asked about repeatedly despite being told something every 5 mins. Yet he can remember the London blitz like yesterday.

 

I'm sure that this absolute insane need to stay in this house besides it dangerous for him and his wife is a part of the Parkinson's. And she just upholds all his decisions because she doesn't want to fight with him. There's going to become a time where my husband is just going to have to put his foot down and they're going to have to put his dad in a home.

 

And that day is coming faster than they think but they are all just sticking their head in the sand.

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Seraphim Grand Master

Seraphim

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And the newest news on my brother's front was that his wife quit her job and wants to get back together. She has her head firmly upper backside that she gives up $120,000 a year job. She needs to be smacked in the head with a shovel. He told her he's not getting back together with her and he hired the truck to move his stuff and he's leaving on Sunday. He told her to go back to Ben,her boyfriend. Oh what Ben is married and doesn't want you anymore because you're no longer his sugar mama oh that is too bad. I don't want you either.

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