Silverbirch Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Gooey is VERY good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 lol...elcie... i'm trying to imagine a face -- and an expression -- along with the sincerity of the words ''REALLY important''. it's making me smile. the count is growing...you're right about that. relates to the very first post of this journal. any more scrolling tidbits of news to report? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 i'm glad you appreciate the goo as much as i do, silver. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 "i wish i could convey to you what it's like to be [me]...to feel the inner strength of someone...to realize that being with [her] is opening your mind and heart to endless new possibilities. to hear yourself say, ''i like myself when i'm with [her].'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 That's lovely 90 Hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 ^^ search your sci-fi/fantasy roots...you'll find it there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 guiltlessness. behind the hardness is fear...behind the fear...is sadness...and if you touch the sadness...you know the vast blue sky... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 ^^ search your sci-fi/fantasy roots...you'll find it there. really now? It sounds familiar.. any hints as to were I should look? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 ^^ and rob you of the joy of discovering for yourself? nah. haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 lol - I'll have to do some research then. I actually started the book I bought today by reading the prolouge to my fiance. Of course trying to give the back story on the Belgariad series when the person hasn't read it yet is... well, interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 it comes in torrents, this pain. hematomic. dormant, but brooding. revelation is swift, but somber. he said, ''the pen must've slipped...'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 Love is reckless; not reason. Reason seeks a profit. Love comes on strong, consuming herself, unabashed. Yet, in the midst of suffering, Love proceeds like a millstone, hard surfaced and straightforward. Having died of self-interest, she risks everything and asks for nothing. Love gambles away every gift God bestows. Without cause God gave us Being; without cause, give it back again. -- Rumi [video=youtube;C8S55bLP-pE] ] There's a sense of longing in me As I read Rosemary's letter Her writing's honest Can't forget the years she's lost In isolation She talks about her love And as I read "I'll die alone" I know she's aching There's a certain detail seen here The pen must have slipped to the side And left a stain Next to his name She knows he's gone And isolation Is all that will remain "The wound in me is pouring out to rest on a lover's shore" travel well my friend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 "We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 is there anything as interesting and exciting as 'young love'... i was at the park today...and couldn't help but watch a younger couple. teenagers. not like it was getting me off. nothing like that. just...how enmeshed in each other they were. a brand new experience. absorbing every detail. exploration. anticipation. there was a certain energy...almost palpable to me...even from a distance. i admired those two in those few moments today. older generations are often quick to critisize. ''it's just lust...infatuation.'' ''it'll never last.'' i get it. once the archetypal cynic...i know what it means to doubt...to feel that i know better. how arrogant. i used to forget myself. the truth is...i remember it well. and today...a bit of that energy i felt was a wave of nostalgia. i remember it well. floating. nerve ends tingling. a heightened awareness of all earthly sensations. it's the embodiment of everything that is good. it's the absence of pain. joy...simple joy in being...in life. rapture...bearing in mind the seeds of something sinister. the charge always has an opposite. of course it does. can i be so short-sighted that i could fail to understand. do i not remember it for myself? of course i do. but...this is not the point. no. that point is for later. for now...for this moment...it's enough to be in love. and that is what it is. there is nothing else it could be. rejoice in that. it may end -- as all things do -- but that ending is of no consequence in this moment. for now...as it is...it is enough. why do we trade our youthful certainty for the ambivalence of 'maturity'? we mistrust our reckless abandon...fearful that it will lead us astray. we close to the touch of vulnerability. we safeguard our wounded hearts from the onslaught of uncertainty. and...in this...there's condemnation. mediocrity prevails...much to the woes of us who know so keenly the sweetness of love's first touch. someone once asked me why it was different for me once upon a time. this is why. there were no barriers. it was as if standing on the brink of eternity...looking into the eyes of infinity itself. no obstacles. to you, park couple...i wish upon you the bliss of sorrow. know that your sorrow is bred of your limitless capacity to love. the degree to which your sorrow envelopes you is indicative of something far greater. take light. live your sorrow as you have lived your love. i aspire to be as you...you who have not forsaken that which is limitless in you. it is my only desire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elcie Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Your insight into the intensity of young love is extremely moving, sleepy. It's always on my mind when I read the posts of people who are obviously dealing with their first heartbreak. As an older reader it's easy to see their situation objectively, know that this is just part of the journey for them and that most of the time, they will recover and find someone else. The hard part is to put yourself in their place; to remember how bad it felt when your lost your first love; how overwhelmingly devastating it was. Your term, 'the bliss of sorrow' is thought provoking. That great sorrow is linked with great love and thus, to appreciate them both as indivisible. I think it may be too much for many, if not most, people. The pain of that first heartbreak makes us build barriers to protect ourselves so that we never feel the level of that pain again; and perhaps never feel the intensity of that love again. As ever sleepy, you make me think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 do you remember your first, elcie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Interesting post sleep. I have the opposite reaction - which is odd since I'm a romantic - but young love tends to get on my nerves. Mature young love I can deal with. 13 year old girl who says she loves John one week and how Derek is the only man for her the next makes me grind my teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 ^^ well...that's certainly one way to look at things. i'm sure it happens. i don't see us 'older' peeps as being immune to this though. not merely for the 'young'. very different perspectives we must have, OG. as i said...i was once the archetypal cynic. i'd look at just about anyone in love and question it. it's a farce. they're just lonely. they don't know what love is. they float around looking for fullfilment in others. it's not real. obviously i know better. i know what they have. i've realized that i'm in no position to make that assessment though. when something doesn't fit between the confines of my lines, it doesn't become less real to those it matters to. if i question it in others, by necessity i must also question it in myself. and perhaps you've seen this for yourself in those who choose to question your judgement when it comes to living your life. it's not a flattering feeling. but...that really wasn't the true sentiment behind my post. i was living vicariously through this particular couple. i was remembering my own feeling. i was seeing what they had through my own eyes. wasn't so much a commentary on on them as it was a relation to something i've lost touch with in myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 True. And I do believe each love you hold for someone is different. While I didn't have that head over heels first love feeling with my fiancé, it was a more comfortable feeling, one I guess comes with age and wisdom. I'm nit any less in love with him than my ex but it's a more... Stable love. Young love (or first love) is a beautiful thing though, and it does make you stop and smile remembering that feeling of not having a care in the world before life set in. But then somene usually says something like 'i can't live without this person' or 'how can we go to days without seeing each other!' and I sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 well that would make sense. the two of you met here...didn't you? seems there would be a more progressive evolution with your experience. a different focus in intensity maybe? think i understand where you're coming from with 'young love' now. i still don't think these sentiments are exclusive to younger couples though. maybe more common...but not exclusive. neediness doesn't seem to recognize the restraints of age!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 We did. I don't know if ena plays a part in that or if it's just that naturally evolution from young love that thinks it can conquer anything to the love were you know your SO isn't perfect and that it's not all sunshine and roses. Some of it is, of course, but not all. True. It's def not age restricted at all. I think it sets my teeth on edge because when you have lived it and you look back or you look at someone else you know what they will learn and part of you wants to tell them but you also know ey won't listen because you yourself didn't listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 well...it's probably irrelevent how it happened for the two of you. it did happen. and it's still happening. it's your experience. sounds like it's a mutually good one too! i wonder...do we ever really know what another person is feeling? does our experience give us automatic relation to that? who's to say our experience is anything like that of another? in general...i get it. but at the same time...to think that i know what another person is feeling almost has a way of trivializing the experience for the other. when someone says to me, ''i know what you're feeling,'' with a subtle inmplication that what i'm feeling isn't 'true' in some capacity...am i to really believe that they actually know what i'm feeling? i don't think i ever know what another person will learn from a given experience. i only infer through the filter of my own life. live and let live... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elcie Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 do you remember your first, elcie? Yes, sleepy.... And the barriers I built up were not blasted away, but have eroded away slowly. The process isn't quite complete. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted August 8, 2011 Author Share Posted August 8, 2011 ^^ imagine you get what i'm saying then...probably better than i do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 You make a very good point Sleepy. I'm all the time getting ill with people who seem to think they have the answer to my relationship being an LDR. The mature comments I can understand but there are some down right idiotic people out there. That being said, that's all we can view other things as is through our filter and our experiences. Even with a shared experience like me being sexually molested as a child, I actually don't vibe well with other survivors, and it's because I view their experience and how they cope with it through my filter and how I dealt with it. Intelluctately I know everyone who goes through that deals with it differently and I have even said that to people on here who are worried they aren't healing the right way - because there is no right way. But I am only human. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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