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Nice ....Just found condoms in ex's wallet


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Hey there. Thanks for sending me an IM. Sorry to hear this latest update. I found condoms in my husbands possession years ago (glove box of his truck). We didn't use any. I counted them and then came back a week or so later and counted them again to see if any were missing. Just finding them I guess wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to fry the guy completely. So, two were missing. Turns out, he was sleeping with girls in the cab of his truck. It also explained the strange smell I had commented on months prior. I actually said, "it smells like *** in here".

 

Anyhoo... that probably didn't help you any. I'm sorry. I really think you need to trust your instincts sadchick. I've read many of your posts and used to post a lot six months ago when I was more active. You saw things back then. I think you are one smart cookie but this guy makes you doubt yourself. He will probably come back. How you respond is completely up to you. How much time are you willing to spend (or waste... depending on the outcome) on this guy. Only you know... really KNOW if he's telling the truth. You described how they fell out of the wallet. You've described how you KNOW they are new condoms. Sounds like you KNOW. Trust yourself.

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You are right, Im just in shock...he was like the only bf who didn't cheat on me

 

Yeah, he didn't cheat on you, and you went through his coat pockets and wallet and stuff as if he did. Guilty until proven innocent? I'm sure you wouldn't like if he did it to you. The way I see it, you're not even together, and you've dumped him before, so he might as well have back-up options in case your feelings for him disappear again. Guys have needs, and I really feel for the guy. Of course he wouldn't tell you because you'd get mad even though you're not together, and he knows this, he knows how your emotions work. But can you really say that you've never lied to him? No one is completely honest, and when I am mostly honest with someone, and they go to great length to try and prove I lied or something and then guilt me as if they're all innocent, I go to even greater lengths to prove they lied, because being guilted by hypocrites enrages me. Why did you invade his privacy? You don't even know for a fact if he's been with other girls or not. I've been through long dry spells where I carried condoms in my wallet, and threw out old ones that passed the expiration date and replaced them with new ones.

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Well....We have been intimate at least once a week...So there has been no dry spell. Weekly, I had asked to discuss our "status" and that we are still working on "us" and not seeing anyone else. He assured me he was not with anyone else, and not looking.

 

I am honest and a guy could go through my things at any time as I have nothing to hide. It was not simply a woman's phone number-- I found condoms. I have my health at risk here!

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sadchick, people can indeed be harsh and blunt here. i think you should stay though, please don't disappear. you are here to get some clarity and to heal and thrive again, and you can do it!

 

as for the people: You guys who are so admant and resolute and clear about other people's stories as to go dig every word they ever said and to preach about how they change their mind... Turn the Mirror to Yourself

We all go through the same thing- one day we love them and we hate them another

We are here to remind and to support each other, not to judge and dismiss one another

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Well....We have been intimate at least once a week...So there has been no dry spell. Weekly, I had asked to discuss our "status" and that we are still working on "us" and not seeing anyone else. He assured me he was not with anyone else, and not looking.

 

I am honest and a guy could go through my things at any time as I have nothing to hide. It was not simply a woman's phone number-- I found condoms. I have my health at risk here!

If he's using protection, then how is your health at risk? You've both had a multitude of sexual partners in the past, what difference would 1 more make? I think you should recognize you're both adults here. I have learned from experience that people who say "I am always honest" usually have the most to hide and lie about, and people who say "ehh, I lie sometimes, I think everyone does" are the most honest ones for being able to admit something like that and being secure enough in themselves to do so.

 

There was a dry spell after you dumped him, wasn't there? Personally, once a week isn't enough for me, how do you know it's enough for him? Again, you're not even together, so you can't be mad at him, honestly. If you wanted to vent, that's fine, but he really didn't do anything wrong here. He didn't have back-ups the first time you dumped him, so he was all alone. If he has other girls right now for lay or whatever, don't you think he'd be right in thinking "thank god I have back-ups now, because I knew she'd lose interest in me AGAIN"?

 

Just look at it from his point of view.

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