DrKitten Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Finally taking the plunge and starting a journal here. My life isn't terribly glamorous but hopefully some of you will be entertained! Today is a pretty good day, though not too much going on. My boyfriend M is at a job interview and we're going beer tasting with a friend after he gets back. The three of us are pretty big beer enthusiasts. The three of us were at a tasting last night for a popular microbrewery. Good beer, but too expensive to justify. $3 tastings per brew, $.5.50 half pints, and a couple other brews were $9.50 half pints! Ridiculous. I hope his interview goes well. It's just a first round panel interview, they will be more if they're interested in him, which I hope they are. He deserves a better job, although this one he's interviewing for is in a city about an hour away from me. He hates commuting so he will most likely move to that city if he gets a job. Distance will suck but I'm not too worried about it right now. Him finding a better job is a lot more important. I just realized today is our 8-monthiversary. This relationship has brought me a lot of joy. I'm so grateful for him. Now I need to shower and will probably just browse ENA and submit my artwork to a couple of art shows (eek!) until M gets back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 Quite a few good beers yesterday. A couple of excellent brown ales. I think I'm becoming more accustomed to very hoppy beers too, like double and triple IPAs. It's certainly an acquired taste. A friend from school was unexpectedly in my town yesterday. We met up for dinner and caught up on things. She graduated about a year ago and I haven't seen her in a few months. She wants to start her own photography business and has been working for a couple different companies to learn the business aspect and going to conventions to network with other professionals. She's being very proactive about it and I'm happy to see that. As for me, I've decided against trying to be a freelance photographer doing weddings, portraits, etc. I simply do not like interacting with people that much, especially as photography is a very personal, internal thing for me. Some photographers make great money shooting weddings and families, but money is not that important to me, plus I really don't enjoy shooting that stuff. My internship is at an art museum, and I think I'd be pretty happy doing a normal day job at a museum or gallery and photographing whatever I want. I'll still be involved in the art world and be able to connect with other artists. 'Course it's still a matter of getting a job... Seeing all these intelligent, hard-working people here on ENA struggling to find work makes me nervous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Blarg... I am about 3 months away from finishing college and I feel so unmotivated to do anything. It's 6 pm, and I still have two online assignments to turn in tonight, art show deadlines to meet, and an assignment to complete for tomorrow. I've started to fall behind in my independent study project. Not to mention I have to start thinking about final projects in about a week. I keep looking at apartments online and fantasizing about having my own place and a steady paycheck, while working on my art on my own time. I know graduation gets closer with each passing day, and yet time feels so stuck. I'm so ready to be done with you, school. Alright. No more ENA until I get my stuff done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Woohoo, it's March now. I have an eye appointment today, finally. Looking forward to updating my glasses prescription so I can get some cute new ones. I also need to get new windshield wiper blades, mine are terrible and there's going to be quite a bit rain for the next week or so. Boyfriend told me last night he thought of getting me some for Valentine's Day, but wasn't sure if the rain would continue. LOL, what a romantic gift. Aaaand I have to put the finishing touches on my photo book and send it off to be published! I'm going to keep a copy on me as my print portfolio so it needs to be good. Nerve wracking and exciting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 O_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Hmm. Just chatted with my longterm ex (T) on Facebook. His (now ex?) girlfriend is moving out of his house during the first week of April, and he invited me to come over, saying I'm welcome anytime. I declined, saying there's no point since I won't even be coming to his city when I graduate in June. He said he understood... Then we started small talking about different kinds of alcohol and he said "Oh, you gotta stop by sometime before you graduate and let me make you this drink, it's amazing" blah blah blah. I just ignored it. I hope he doesn't keep pushing to see me. I'm just not interesting in being friends... I mentioned my current boyfriend a couple times in conversation, which he ignored. Didn't ask about us or anything. My boyfriend trusts me, but I'm sure he would be uncomfortable with me stopping by T's place for a drink, and I have no intention of disrespecting that. I've already cheated during a drunken mistake (kissing, no sex) and I don't want to make him worried about anything. He's too important to me to take that risk again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Rain, rain, go away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 Reasons to not go to class today: 1) It's raining. 2) First day of my period and I'm feeling crampy. 3) I only have one 2-hour class to go to. 4) I have to commute an hour each way. 5) This would only be my 2nd absence of the quarter. (I'm in week 9 of 10) 6) Still need to put finishing touches on my book and publish it. Ahh, excuses. So convenient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 A bit of a sexual rant, hope it's not too explicit. I was giving oral to my man last night, using primarily my mouth while roaming my hands over his thighs, balls, stomach, etc. I was going for several minutes then slowed down a bit to catch my breath and he said, "You can use your hands more. That looks like hard work." He also said, "You can be rougher with the boys down there." I just smiled and obliged but for some reason (probably my period) I took it very personally, like he was critiquing me. I suddenly felt awkward and my confidence was shot. I stopped making eye contact because I was afraid I'd cry if I looked up. I kept going and got him off but still felt totally inadequate. Silly and insecure of me, I know. Of course I want him to communicate with me and I shouldn't take it as an attack. It was surprising because my emotions are usually pretty stable while on my period. Bleh, guess this month is just an oversensitive one. I tried not to make a show of it but I think he noticed I was more quiet and withdrawn afterward. He didn't say anything but was more cuddly and kissy than usual. Sigh, he's so great. During the day yesterday, I texted him about how this period is a weird one because I was craving chocolate (I normally don't like sweets). He replied, "Hmm. I'll see what I can do about that." I said "Noooo, you don't have to do that. It's just odd for me, that's all." Sure enough, I went over there later and he had a box of chocolates from See's. He's seriously the best. I'm so lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 Today is so nice out. We got a break in the rain and I'm working at my internship. Wish I was out taking photographs or repotting my plants or something. My lunch break is in about an hour. I think I'll eat outside and go for a walk on the grounds later. This place is so beautiful, it just sucks having to work inside! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 Haha! I just checked my school email, which I should really do more often, and saw the class I skipped yesterday had been canceled anyway. SCORE! 10 minutes til 5! Almost done with the work day and I can soon relax with my handsome devil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 Ugh, I feel like I spend way too much time on the computer. I haven't really done much today besides surf the net, and that's how a lot of my days off go when I'm not doing something with my friends or boyfriend. I seriously need to start exercising again. I want to get back into yoga, swimming, and running. Boyfriend is really into bicycling, maybe I should start doing that with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Well the boyfriend and I went to an REI store yesterday to check out the Vibram FiveFinger shoes that are so popular now. The classic model was on clearance so we both got a pair and are test-walking them. They do feel different, like toe socks but with arch support and tough rubber soles? LOL. Once it stops raining, I will try a quick jog around the block in them. If they end up being really good for running, I will probably get one of the more fancier pairs. Other than that, we didn't do much this weekend besides another beer tasting. We both wanted to do some photographing but the rain kept us indoors. Oh well. It doesn't matter what we do together, I just love being with him. Yeah, I'm such a sap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 Well I think I'm going to *gulp* apply for a job! I found this open position a couple weeks ago and bookmarked it but never gave it a second glance. I read it over some more today... It's still open and the description fits almost perfectly with the work I do at my internship. Furthermore, a girl that I briefly got to know at my workplace now works over there. I just spent a couple hours meticulously revamping my resume and emailed my boss asking if she could write me a letter of recommendation this week. Ahh, I don't want to get too optimistic but it feels like everything could fall into place. If this job (or any job) is waiting for me after I graduate, that will be a true blessing. And yeah, that's coming from the mouth of a godless heathen, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 I spend an average of 5 nights a week at my boyfriend's place. His bed feels far more warm and comforting than my own. My bed here at home has turned into a storage area since this room is so tiny and my mom uses any free surface for her own stuff. I want space to work on art. I want to be able to organize my supplies. Frak, I just want enough room to walk in a small circle but I literally can't because this room is so small. And this house is always cold. Any food I buy ends up disappearing because of someone eating or my mom rearranging everything. His apartment is always warm. He and I make dinners and clean together while we talk about our days... I want to live with him... I feel ready for that step but we've never talked about it. We've danced around the subject, I guess. We've browsed furniture at IKEA and he mentioned he likes it better when I'm at his place than when I'm not. I should probably wait until I have an income before having that talk though. The near future is also just so uncertain as to where we'll end up. Within six months, we could either be in the same area or nearly 100 miles apart. There's just no telling where the chips will fall until they do. Argh, I'm so impatient. I just want a job I enjoy, a small room to work on my art, and to wake up next to him every morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 I just sent off my application to the job I mentioned above. My boss wrote me a very flattering letter of recommendation that makes me blush every time I glance at it. The job description did not ask a for a letter or even a Bachelor's degree so I really hope they consider me since I went a bit above and beyond what they asked for. Now it's just a waiting game! Went to an art & music event with the boyfriend last night and it went okay. We got there a bit late because I had work, and the band we wanted to see was just finishing up when we got there. We explored the art gallery (which was HUGE) then went to dinner at a super trendy place which was more about the price and atmosphere than the food. I mean the food was good, but it came in very small portions and was presented all fancy. Beer was $5 for about 10z, ugh. Luckily we had a Groupon that brought the total cost down to like $20, hah. I paid for the meal, since I haven't treated us in a little while and I'm not quite hurting for money yet. He said "I love you" last night as we got into bed. Not the first time he's said it, but it's such a treat when he does because he's not very verbal with his feelings. We say it to each other maybe every couple of weeks and it works well for us. We just enjoy being with each other, and I feel so cared for and appreciated that I find myself not needing a lot verbal reassurance. My insecurity now is really a fraction of what it used be. In the past, I've been big on "I love you"s, but that's not really his style so I've dialed back on it quite a bit. And he knows I like to hear it so he tells me during nice moments. It seems like we understand each other so well and we're both making the effort to meet each other's needs. And that just feels so wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 So this is quickly turning into my "I have the best boyfriend ever" journal, hah. I feel silly for previously posting that my insecurity is a fraction of what it used to be... I got insecure and overreacted about something totally stupid last night. He was wonderful and reassuring, with a touch of "come on, you know better than that" so then I felt dumb and insecure about feeling dumb and insecure, hah. I really hate being that way. It's so draining mentally. And it's hard to get out of that funk once I'm in it. Blah, I do know better and I need to snap out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 I found another job to apply for! It's not as ideal to me as the first job, but still in the line of work I want. Except that it's working with kids (ugh) and looks like there's some sales/receptionist/customer service/janitorial duties involved on top of the marketing, but I'm not going to be choosy in this economy. And they clearly stated their hours (full time) and a decent pay rate, which the other job didn't. So unless the first job is only part time and/or pays crap, this one sounds like a good second choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherryberrypie Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Those shoes weird me out hahaha. They must be a dream to run in though, especially on sand. Wishing I lived in Californiyay Good luck with the job hunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Hah, they are funny looking for sure. I went to the grocery store wearing them the other day and I'm sure I got some looks. Haven't worn them on sand yet. Californiyay is getting dumped with rain now should change my location to Californinay. Although I'm guessing British Columbia isn't doing much better! And thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 16, 2011 Author Share Posted March 16, 2011 Just caught myself looking at engagement rings and wedding bands. Goddamnit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Hah, what a St. Patty's Day we had! I got to his place around 6 and we opened up some beers (some barley wine which was not that good, and a Lagunitas seasonal called Wilco Tango Foxtrot). Decided we'd go downtown for some Irish food and cheap Guinness. "But let's get naked first," he said. I was happy to oblige. So after a nice romp in the bedroom we... fell asleep. LOL! Neither of us realized we had dozed off until looking at the clock and it was nearly 10pm. I guess post orgasmic bliss + strong beer + a warm bed will do that. He had to get up at 6:30 so it was too late to go out then. We just laughed at ourselves, got ready for bed, and went back to sleep. Sigh, I love him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Working on my last final, which is for my Women's Literature class. Blah, I'm half-assing it so bad. I'm not even getting a grade, I'm doing the class credit/no credit so I don't really care how I do unless I get that CR on my transcript. I did kind of half-ass the entire class though, but not bad enough to fail I hope. Just need to finish this and take the test and I'll be done! Woo, spring break! Next quarter should be so much fun and pretty easy. My only classes will be -Advanced Portrait Photography -Advanced Printmaking -Senior Project in Photography I love being an art major. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I'm so sick of the rain. California is getting its ass pounded by these storms. My house was without power for several hours. I'm officially on spring break now, and looks like it's going to be raining the entire time. Only solid plans for the break are seeing Lady Gaga in concert! I believe that's on Wednesday. Other than that, no idea how I'm going to keep myself from going stir crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 I'm annoyed, and possibly a bit jealous, at the relationship that my mom and brother have. They are very close and she spoils the crap out of him. When he's home, they hang out often and sound exactly like two giggly teenage girls when they're together. My brother is 20 and until recently, my mom always did his laundry, cleaned his room, and cooked everything he would ask for. He doesn't really know anything about doing things on his own and I think she just totally enables this. He's in college but is still very much like a high school kid. When my parents gave him a debit card, he went flat broke so quickly because he never checked his account and doesn't know how to manage his money. My parents are pissed at him now because he has parking tickets he needs to pay, and never took notice of being massively overcharged on some purchases he's made. It's possible he's gotten his card number or identity stolen and he's not doing crap about it. They took away his card and my mom now gives him a weekly cash allowance. This week, my mom gave him a bit of extra cash so he could pay his tickets and still have enough for food, gas, whatever. Aw poor baby. Give me a fraking break. My mom has always been a hard ass with me. I learned early on to have a strong work ethic and manage my own stuff because she gave me hell if I did something wrong. Don't get me wrong, she is a good mother. We have a pretty good relationship and I love her. But the way she treats my brother and I are so vastly different. I think some of it comes how her own mother raised her and her siblings. My mom grew up in Mexico in a pretty strict household as one out of eight kids. She's the 3rd oldest, and so often helped take care of her younger siblings. She was raised in a time where having boys was obviously favored over girls. Boys would become the heads of the households, carry on the family name, etc. So boys were spoiled and fawned over since they were preferred. The girls were put to work around the house, berated more often for their mistakes, disowned if they had sex before marriage, etc. Well my grandma had 6 girls and 2 boys. My mom and 4 of my aunts turned out to be incredibly self-sufficient hard workers. Two of them are nurses. One of them owns a restaurant plus several houses and commercial properties. My uncles? One has two mortgages, no steady job, and is always traveling. The other is an alcoholic and is still in Mexico, regularly cheating on his wife. Not to say that my mom loves my brother more than me, but she was taught to raise girls a certain way and boys another way. I don't want to be spoiled, nor do I hope my brother ends up as a deadbeat. But I really don't know how he'll learn to be an adult if she keeps enabling him. It's just frustrating and annoying to see her treating him like a kid when he's freaking 20 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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