DaveTrump Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 This may be true for the younger women. I sure hope I meet a real woman that does not play these kinda games. I just want to he a real man now. One that stands up for himself and knows how to set healthy boundaries but also knows how to make a woman feel special, safe and cared for. As Women get older their value decreases, so they will settle for something more easy going but not until they've slept with all the bad boys first! If you go for ones around 35 yrs old then they're pretty much ready for anything. Do what pleases you. You make the rules. Women respond better to that more than being pandered for...unless of course they've just been treated like cr@p and are probably in need of it. Just gotta find that healthy balance. Try not to think about it too much. Just go with it. If it works then great. If not, then move on. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 Good post, but I dont feel I was treated like crap....I was completely manipulated. The nice things he did for me were for his own ten fold return. A person who was treated like crap can eventually heal. At the moment I am running all the good times through my head like little vignettes and in shock that these were fake times. This has hurt my self esteem and will likely not allow me to trust someone for avery long time. I was fooled! Link to comment
DaveTrump Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Good post, but I dont feel I was treated like crap....I was completely manipulated. The nice things he did for me were for his own ten fold return. A person who was treated like crap can eventually heal. At the moment I am running all the good times through my head like little vignettes and in shock that these were fake times. This has hurt my self esteem and will likely not allow me to trust someone for avery long time. I was fooled! Yeah sounds like he just took away your self confidence by manipulation and control to gain power of the relationship. That's pretty cruel but like you said it's easier for you to identify his shortcomings so you can heal faster and get stronger so it doesn't happen again. I guess we're all looking for that perfect relationship without the BS and just good fun. Maybe I'm just a dreamer. Link to comment
piruru Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Good post, but I dont feel I was treated like crap....I was completely manipulated. The nice things he did for me were for his own ten fold return. A person who was treated like crap can eventually heal. At the moment I am running all the good times through my head like little vignettes and in shock that these were fake times. This has hurt my self esteem and will likely not allow me to trust someone for avery long time. I was fooled! Ugh, I feel like this sometimes too. My ex was somewhat of a narcissist. I keep replaying the good parts too. It doesn't help. I just can't bring myself to believe that the person I loved was actually an a-hole. All those good times were just lies. He changed so quickly that I, until now, struggle to understand that whole thing. Now I've gotten to the point where I realised I just wasted a piece of some of my best years on that piece of turd and it makes me so angry. Don't be surprised if your feelings fluctuate from hating him more than anything in this world, to wanting him back when you remember the good times again, back and forth. Try not to remember the good times as regardless how good they are, they are in the past and they will not happen again. The guy you loved is, in a way, dead. Rather than letting those memories of the past make us unhappy, it's better to focus on our future. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 Thank you for the good advice. I guess I should have been concerned when he broke up with his previous gf 2 weeks before we met, and we were "together" right away. I guess I was a better provider. Another thing, he did not tell me he loved me until 2 weeks before we broke up. ( A 14 month relationship) The way he said it was like he was just doing it to buy himself more time. It has really hit me hard. I have never not been able to workout, am not interested in things like cooking-which I used to love. This is way worse than a regular BU. Link to comment
mad rabbits Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Hi Sad, I posted on your other thread. I suspect (but am not sure) my ex was a narc. Definitely had N traits at the very least. PM me if you want to talk! Link to comment
ChellyV Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 hi bad habits, mine was definitely. the bad part was he played too much with my self esteem and am just now trying to recover. good riddance to him. and rebuilding my life now. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.