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I really hate my hair. :(


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Hello, I'm 17 years old, black African. my hair is really damaged, it's breaking at the back and front and becoming thinner everyday. I keep relaxing/perming it but I think this is just making the situation worse and the same problems occur when the chemicals come out. I haven't relaxed my hair for 3 months now and it's pretty bad. I also don't relax my hair often, just once in every 3-6 months. I hate my hair and I wish it would grow, not be so bushy/nappy and not break, I don't really like weave or hair extensions much because it's not me and I don't like it much. This is really frustrating, I feel so blahh everyday I look in the mirror, I see other people with beautiful hair and wish mine could be like that. Like i'm 17 and suffering from hair loss. Ugh.

Does anyone have any help/suggestions? Thank you in advance.

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hi - i don't know much about black hair. but i agree that maybe you should stop processing it, cut off all the damaged areas and then start with some ultra-hydrating hair treatments. i know lots of people who wear their hair natural, and i think it looks really nice (though it can require some effort). i would go to a really good hair salon with lots of experience with black hair and see what they say. i might even cut it short and give your hair a chance to get better.

 

don't forget to take multi-vitamins, especially vitamin E. don't wash your hair too much either, it can strip away natural oils.

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^^ That sounds like good advice for the hair damage..

 

.. as for the style - honestly, your natural hair sounds absolutely beautiful to me. People always want different hair - yours sounds gorgeous and I bet you look great in it.

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Hi,

Firstly if you are going to maintain relaxed (straight permed) hair, then you need to retouch the roots more regularly than 3-6months. You should retouch every 6weeks - 8 max.

 

Secondly - your hair DOES GROW - regrowth is evidence of this, but the top ends break off as a result of not enough moisture (environmental and product factors play role).

 

Thirdly - I'm going to take a guess that when your hair feels dry -that you use an oil product. This is WRONG - it needs MOISTURE not oil. The oil can prevent the hair from absorbing moisture.

 

I dont want to advertise, but Dark & Lovely have a product called "Moisture Seal -Daily Oil Moisturiser" which applies moisture to the hair strands. It is in a long purple tube, there are other moisturising products as well. Despite the oil contend -it does not block the shaft: this should be applied daily - especially to the ends if they appear dry - otherwise you will continue to get split ends and you hair will continue to break at the ends.

you might be better cutting your ends before starting a new regime.

 

Fourthly -You should wash your hair atleast once a week - and do not apply oil to your scalp - this can block your pores in the long run.

You should use a moisturising conditioner - and/or apply a 'leave-in' conditioner.

If you find that your scalp gets dry - use a specially medicated shampoo, then move on to one that suits dry scalp.

 

Hope this helps

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Are hair extensions an option for you? Not the glue in ones but the ones that are sewn in? Glue is horrible for the hair. I have had hair extensions...I had them fused and sewn in. Fused is longer lasting but more expensive...sewn in is a good option in between haircuts. In fact I am getting extensions put in temporarily later this month. I find it is easier to grow my own hair out doing it this way. Also...

buying one of those "claw clip" pony tails is a life saver on your hair. Make a sleek pony tail..and clip the hair on. It actually looks very elegant if you do it right.

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  • 4 months later...

Hi i have had trouble with my hair too after bleaching it, it is now a complete dried out mess, i was advised by hairdressers to not use hair relaxer as this does damage it worse,but to try a poduct called "Macadamia oil"(not advertising just sharing advise) which i now have a small pot of and it seems to be working.I also did my own research and got my self from a health food store some "pure coconut oil" which i heat in the microwave for just under a minute and then put on my hair and leave in over night.

 

by the next morning i wash it out with my shampoo and conditioner and it's really soft and helps if i do this like at least once a week.And as for dealing with my hair that looks terrible at the moment i just put in hair piesces(i know this sounds weird)but you can buy clip in ponytails of real human hair that last and you can style or you and get synthetic ones which are also good have a shop near me that sells wigs and stuff(have a wig on order,100 percent human hair egyption style one)and it's amazing,they really boost your confidence and looks completely real.

 

I know as having experience with dried out hair that is damaged can be really stressful and it makes me feel really depressed,but having the hair extensions(clip in ponytail)has helped my confidence loads and i know you said you don't like hair extensions but you can get all sorts of styles of clip in ponytials,personaly i like to use my GHD's and put in big curl's in my long ponytail and it looks really nice,maybe you could try to get a cheap sythentic ponytail first and see how you feal, then if you like it either go for a wig or a 100 percent human hair ponytail

 

also give's your hair a chance to heal as your not puttin one chemicals to make it look nice as you have no need while you have the ponytail/wig

 

Hope this help's..from another dried hair sufferer

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I know there are new chemical processes you can get in salons that straigthen hair without destroying it, but i don't think they are cheap unfortunately! That is why you see so many Hollywood actresses with beautiful straighthened hair using these new processes, but they have the money to pay for it.

 

So once you get old enough and start working you can have it done in salons. Or perhaps get a part time job in a salon that does this new age straightening, and they will do you for free! I'd call some salons that have experience in the newer straightening processes that don't destroy hair and don't require a lot of products to keep it straight. I know someone who had it done, and her hair was quite soft and manageable and very straight!

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I know there are new chemical processes you can get in salons that straigthen hair without destroying it, but i don't think they are cheap unfortunately! That is why you see so many Hollywood actresses with beautiful straighthened hair using these new processes, but they have the money to pay for it.

 

So once you get old enough and start working you can have it done in salons. Or perhaps get a part time job in a salon that does this new age straightening, and they will do you for free! I'd call some salons that have experience in the newer straightening processes that don't destroy hair and don't require a lot of products to keep it straight. I know someone who had it done, and her hair was quite soft and manageable and very straight!

 

I used to be a 'hair model' at hip salons in a major city. Sometimes, a stylist is going to an additional certification or training, and they need someone to practice on. This is always a stylist, and a senior stylist is always watching over him or her to make sure they are doing things right. I got either free haircuts and color, or basically free ($10). And it was always very well done. Call and ask around if a salon needs a black hair model with some damaged hair. You might get in luck!!

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