babybear Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I have recently got a new job and I work with someone who is friends with a casual-ex of mine. Basically 4 years ago this ex and me both lived with our parents but when we were drunk after a night out we wanted to have sex so we had sex in an alley-way. Not one of my proudest moment, but not something I really thought about as it happened a long time ago. Unfortunately this guy who I work with told every member of staff that I "had sex down an alley-way" with a friend of his. Now all the members of staff continuelly make * * * * jokes and inuendos and bring up how i did this. It feels maybe sort of viscious more than banter I can't really tell? And I don't know how best to deal with it? Should I just laugh it off and not really say anything? I worry then I will come accross like a doormat and they will think they can say/do anything to me and get away with it? I try and defend myself especially as the girl who says the worst things to be me has a pretty colourful past herself! But when i say anything to her she's like "i've got a boyfriend now". Bleurgh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Well that's considered sexual harassment and really it's none of their business what you goes in your life. Report it to your manager and if that doesn't resolve the issue, contact the HR department. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Well that's considered sexual harassment and really it's none of their business what you goes in your life. Report it to your manager and if that doesn't resolve the issue, contact the HR department. I agree. Your personal life is nobody's business, particularly if you yourself had not divulged this information. This is something that needs to be addressed with your boss in a very professional way. Tell your boss that you are here to do a job and to do it well and not to be hassled about something a colleague inappropriately divulged to staff about your personal life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WindowTo Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Definitely should file for sexual harassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 yeah, this is harassment. i don't see what you did 4 years ago with your own boyfriend has any bearings on the job you are doing today. don't try to hit back, just report to the manager and consider filing a complaint with HR as well. they are distracting you from doing their job because of their stupid gossip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAYAAN Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 wow... I'm sorry this is happening to you. Don't try to laugh it off. It will get worse. Report it to the manager right away. Keep records of your actions (like when you talked to your manager, what you said, if anything you give in writing). This is not acceptable. I'm really sorry that people can fall this low. Believe it or not this type of behavior by coworkers is common. Its not acceptable, but its very common. I was interning at a pharmacy. I never ever opened my mouth about my lack of BF or dates etc. I strictly kept away from even slightly hinting towards these topics. I know how some of the coworkers were. But I heard two technicians speak and laugh loudly about me "I think, her cherry is not even popped yet." and they laughed and gave each other high-five. I was almost in tears and left early that day. Why is my lack of sexual activity any of their business. I should have filed a complaint officially, but I was almost done with my internship and was never going to see them again so I tried to just keep quiet. I don't know if women make worst coworkers or what. These women routinely discussed who they are sleeping with, anything kinky they do with their BF in bed. One discussed how her insurance wont' cover her Yaz pill, but she had to have sex with her BF so she is playing with fire now and everyone else laughed. Gosh! I'm so glad my internship is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 What they're doing is illegal. If your manager doesn't assure you that it will stop, contact your local labor department office to report it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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