Ms.Lady Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I think god is really playing with me and this is really in no way to bash anyone but I'm frustrated. I still have not yet mastered the idea of flirting and being bold with telling guys how I feel which is a strike against me. I'm still upset over the fact that I never confessed my feelings with a guy I liked at my job who has quit and I still have no idea how to contact him because we never exchanged numbers. If I like a guy, he'll seem interested in me but it's always like a game with the guys I like. I have to guess if he's really into me, should I make a move and normally, my crush NEVER makes a move which means I never make a move and every thing is left out in the open with unanswered questions. Today and yesterday, I got hit on my two different men at my job. The two guys were creepy and I was in no way interested. It's flattering to get hit on, but it's very discouraging when it's by someone you're in no way interested in. For some reason, I always seem to attract men who are older and interested in sex which are major strikes. At 24, I'm not interested in men who are in their 40's or 50's. This is in no way to bash people in that age bracket. However I rather date people who are close to my age range, because I'd feel we'd have more in common than someone who is twice my age. The other strikes were I was in no way attracted to the men and they both looked pretty bad for their age. I'm a little annoyed because I really wish the guy I was crushing on was bold enough to come onto me like these men did. I'm certain he felt the same about me but he always seemed scared. This always happen to me, I'm into a guy he never makes a move. I know I'll probably have to make the move but I'm so scared to make the first approach and I always have been. I'm never good with expressing my feelings and telling men how I feel. At this rate if I keep this up, I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. I can't tell you how many missed opportunities I had to be with great guys, simply because the both of us couldn't confess our feelings for each other and make things happen. It's frustrating how this always happen to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I think god is really playing with me and this is really in no way to bash anyone but I'm frustrated. I still have not yet mastered the idea of flirting and being bold with telling guys how I feel which is a strike against me. I'm still upset over the fact that I never confessed my feelings with a guy I liked at my job who has quit and I still have no idea how to contact him because we never exchanged numbers. Didn't people advise you to try facebook or ask another coworker for that guy's number? God is not playing with you. Take the opportunities that are given to you and enjoy your life. There's nothing you can do about missed opportunities but you can make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Focus on your confidence and all the reasons you deserve a good relationship and try not to talk yourself down. Many young people in their 20s feel like it's "never going to happen for them" or that "only losers" (or whatever) are interested in them. It's a frustrating time to go through and I remember having similar thoughts at that age. In the grand scheme of things though, your 20s are still just the beginning of everything....not the desperate finale where all hope gets lost. I look back at that time and wish I had had more confidence that everything would turn out okay so that I could just enjoy everything.....that's what I wish for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightest Dark Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 The same things happen to me, Ms. Lady. Always get the guys I'm not interested in after me and the ones I like don't seem to care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Didn't people advise you to try facebook or ask another coworker for that guy's number? God is not playing with you. Take the opportunities that are given to you and enjoy your life. There's nothing you can do about missed opportunities but you can make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the future. Yep, pretty much. I just posted a response to someone who wasn't sure about taking a shot on someone and approaching them. I told her the same thing - do you want to live in regret? Take the opportunity, or learn from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faithful14 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 The same things happen to me, Ms. Lady. Always get the guys I'm not interested in after me and the ones I like don't seem to care. Same here, I guess it because the guys you're not into can sense it and are up for the challenge of winning you over or maybe they're just very attracted to the nonchalant, "I don't really care" attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Lady Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 Didn't people advise you to try facebook or ask another coworker for that guy's number? God is not playing with you. Take the opportunities that are given to you and enjoy your life. There's nothing you can do about missed opportunities but you can make sure you don't make the same mistakes in the future. I thought I responded but I guess I didn't.. I tried facebook to reach him but he's not on there. I only knew his first name and it would seem kind of stalkerish for me to track him down and hunt him down but I guess if he likes me he wouldn't mind. The only way I would be able to contact him is if I happen to get his number from another co-worker who may have been close with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misstarrie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I always have guys I don't fancy ask me out... not that I'm a hot looking woman or anything ... I think it's because I'm more relaxed around guys I'm not feeling something for... So they're attracted to that... And the guys I like don't make a move... Dammit!! Maybe they have a 6th sense that picks up on that... who knows?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bostonbruins44 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 You seem to be attracted to shy guys.It's unfortunate but shy guys need a lot of encouragement before they will be willing to make a move.Try and learn from what you have done wrong in the past and apply it to the next person you become romantically interested in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Basically, shy guys are a forest of unburnt fuel and girls are the match...they're not going to kindle on their own!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 For some reason, I always seem to attract men who are older and interested in sex which are major strikes. If being interested in sex is a major strike, you may have a long search ahead of you. But if you mean just interested in sex, that's slightly different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Lady Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 If being interested in sex is a major strike, you may have a long search ahead of you. But if you mean just interested in sex, that's slightly different. I mean men who only want me for sex. The guys who come onto me rudely and ask me when are am I going to hit that.. That's so rude and annoying but I always have those type of men hit on me. I'm an relationship oriented type of woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skylark89 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 @BrightestDark and Ms. Lady: I have the same deal (I don't think these guys are losers, though....just a little creepy...), except with the confessing part....I guess. The first guy I really liked (in jr. high, by the way)...I did confess...sorta...well...on messenger...bad idea? Long story short...I think he actually liked me, but neither of us ever confessed in person....then, I moved... Other crush was in college...and I didn't confess because I was never able to find out if he had a girlfriend or not...and later, I learned we had a few different values... Anyway, I've resolved that I will try to confess my feelings the next time around. Lately, I've had the issue of getting hit on by a few high school guys...which I'm not complaining about...but I don't want to be a pedaphile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightbulbSun Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I can understand not wanting guys who just want you for sex. At first, I thought you just meant you weren't attracted to them! If you meet someone and you're not attracted at first, you should give them a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devia Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I feel ya girlie. Same thing happens to me. I think what causes it...at least in my case...is the creepo guys that hit on me are just like that. I always find out that I'm not the only one they hit on - that they've tried to get with several of my other female friends too. However, I do have some male friends that DON'T hit on every girl, and they aren't creepy, but when they do show an interest in me sexually it's only for having sex and not actually being interested in 'dating' me. Like you said, flattering, but also annoying as I do really want someone to care for that returns the feelings. I don't know how much you should listen to my advice as I'm not a guy and don't seem to know how they think, but I'd say you really should try and find out this person's phone number from someone else or at least his last name so you can try and find him on Facebook. I'm rooting for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I've experienced this a lot, yet it still blows my mind. Perhaps a male's perspective might shed some light, or some insight, or at least raise a possible explanation. The people you are attracted to naturally become elevated in status in your eyes. This affects your interactions with that person, making them awkward, or possibly even nonexistent out of plain anxiety. Conversely, the people you aren't attracted do not receive this kind of status inflation. And your interactions with them are just interactions with another random person. You can be aloof, calm, relaxed, etc. This exudes an air of confidence, perhaps. It boils down to a confidence and appearance thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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