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Went to the casino and lost alot! Now I feel worse and want to call her!!


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I was doing OK and trying to make changes in my life which I am. Joined a couple of bible groups, went bowling and hanging out with friends. But I did not want to go home last night and be all alone in my bed after a date that was not so great.

 

So I decided to go to that casino and play cards. I stayed up all night gambling and was ahead until one really big hand and lost a lot of money (2K) It was all in one hand that I played wrong. Now I have not slept, I can not sleep and feel horrible. I want to call my ex so bad to comfort me. I feel so weak now. I am NC but this is killing me!

 

I really hate myself for playing that hand so bad, I should have won it but I messed up. I guess I was just too tired to think straight. I just want to find some sleeping pills and pass out for days. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I am so anxious and upset.

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You should feel bad for gambling like that instead of anything else!

 

I don't understand your point of "instead of anything else" I already feel bad about it and feel foolish. I think i did it to just escape all the pain and have a distraction. I am really hurting right now so I guess you throwing more guilt on me just make me feel worse. Thanks

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Yeah and then she's gonna call you a loser for losing that money.

 

Bad idea.

 

I know it's a bad idea and I feel like a loser right now. I just came here hoping someone would understand. I guess I need a different forum for that. I hoped someone would understand. There is no one else I can tell and it is killing me to keep it inside.

 

Am I the only one that has done destructive things to avoid the pain of a breakup?

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I think that in some way you expecting to move on quicker than the time it will actually take to move on. Don't fight these feelings - work through them. Cry it out. Punch a pillow. Write a letter to get your feelings out. But do not contact her. You'll feel better tomorrow.

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I know it's a bad idea and I feel like a loser right now. I just came here hoping someone would understand. I guess I need a different forum for that. I hoped someone would understand. There is no one else I can tell and it is killing me to keep it inside.

 

No, we understand, I used to have a gambling problem and I used to look to other people to make myself better.

 

At the end of the day you have to cut out the things that make you look to others for support.

 

We're not going to tell you though that it's all okay when it isn't.

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Do not use gambling, drinking, or any other false diversion to hide your pain. Instead, deal with it no matter how painful it is, you will feel much better. I'm not going to lecture you, you feel bad enough. What I will say is that you learned a very valuable lesson and it only cost you 2k. Not that bad a deal in the long run. Don't run or hide from problems or pain, that NEVER works.

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I think that in some way you expecting to move on quicker than the time it will actually take to move on. Don't fight these feelings - work through them. Cry it out. Punch a pillow. Write a letter to get your feelings out. But do not contact her. You'll feel better tomorrow.

 

Drama, I am really hurting and it sucks. I think going on a date and feeling so not right about it and not feeling like I could connect at all with the girl really through me for a loop. I miss her so much even though I know we will never be together again and that I may not get over her for a long time. I am really said right now.

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I know it hurts. It's natural to hurt when you miss someone. But in one year's time would you rather feel better, or be stuck on the sidelines with her, scrambling for scraps? Either you deal with this pain now, or you delay it for later. It's better to face those emotions now, since you've come this far aleady.

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I just don't know how to face this loss. I have never loved anyone in my 49 years of life like I loved this girl. I just can't seem to move on and am dying inside. Everyday is a struggle. Life feels so empty and meaningless. I just can't seem to find the strength or motivation to get it together. I hate it. I have never been like this before and it scares me. it has been going on like this for a year now. I even wrecked three cars in November.

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Like your user name says, Live and Learn. Dont sweat the money. It's only money. You'll make a lot more than that in your lifetime. And this will not be the last time you lose money.

 

Where do you live, by the way? Also, do you have an issue with gambling?

 

And go ahead and call her. What do you have to lose? If she calls you a loser for losing the money, it will be that much easier to forget her.

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And go ahead and call her. What do you have to lose? If she calls you a loser for losing the money, it will be that much easier to forget her.

If you knew the back story you wouldn't be encouraging him to call her.

 

DON'T DO IT.

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I guess I might have a gambling problem in the sense that I use it and other avenues to distract myself. I am trying to make new friends but my life has been a mess for the past 3 years since me divorce. Then I met my ex gf 2 years ago and felt so much better. I just have so much pain inside that I guess I need to deal with. I am so scared to face it all and don't even know how. Bought the book getting past your breakup and have started reading it. The last 24 hours is really effecting me right now.

 

I won't call her Drama...I promise. I am just really struggling. Feel like I just want to take some pain pills and go drink. I know that is not the answer but I am afraid of what I might do. I am not thinking clearly since I am really emotion cuz of the break up, bad date last night , losing money and have not slept for a few days.

 

Drama, a year seems like an eternity right now but I know you are right. I may never be able to talk to her again.

Edited by Live-N-Learn
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My opinion: If you really had a once in a lifetime love, call her. I'd fight for something like that. I don't know the circumstances of your break up. If she cheated on you, then F' her. She's not worth it and don't call her. But if you guys broke up and now you are regretting it, call her and she if you can reconcile before it's too late.

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My opinion: If you really had a once in a lifetime love, call her. I'd fight for something like that. I don't know the circumstances of your break up. If she cheated on you, then F' her. She's not worth it and don't call her. But if you guys broke up and now you are regretting it, call her and she if you can reconcile before it's too late.

 

Thanks Calvin but it's over. Already tried everything to reconcile it's not going to happen. She only wants me as her best friend now and I can't do that.

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My opinion: If you really had a once in a lifetime love, call her. I'd fight for something like that. I don't know the circumstances of your break up. If she cheated on you, then F' her. She's not worth it and don't call her. But if you guys broke up and now you are regretting it, call her and she if you can reconcile before it's too late.

Just, no.

 

10 char

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Focus on going through your emotions first. IMO, you're not really in a place to be making new friends or dating at this time. It's another way of avoiding facing your feelings. It's scary but what other choice do you have?

 

I agree dating is a really bad idea. Thought i was doing better but I am not. I really am lonely and don't have any real friends right now. I can not handle being in this house all by myself. I am an out going person and I need to be around people or I go crazy! God I wish I never met her.

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sometimes i do self-destructive things and I notice that is when i want to contact my bf the most... I think we do this because if we aren't taking proper care of ourselves, then it's okay to even get more hurt by someone else... but deep down we got to knwo that we don't have to hit ourselves twice as hard just cus we made one mistake... we know contacting the ex will only make us feel worse... so just forgive yourself for the money lost, and keep doing the right thing... Here is a big hug for u, stay strong!!!

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I am trying to keep busy. I work from home which really sucks. joined a bible study group on Monday and Tuesdays, a bowling league on Wednesdays. I have my kids every other weekend. I am trying to fill the time but I just feel so weak right now. I will keep working through the book in hopes of finally getting healthy and happy with myself. this is just so hard and seems so unfair.

 

I know she is doing everything to avoid her feelings and dealing with her past. I find myself getting angry and jealous because I know she has so many people that want to spend time with her and she has all kinds of distractions. Most of our mutual friends are her friends so now I am left with no one. It seems so unfair

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I know it's a bad idea and I feel like a loser right now. I just came here hoping someone would understand. I guess I need a different forum for that. I hoped someone would understand. There is no one else I can tell and it is killing me to keep it inside.

 

Am I the only one that has done destructive things to avoid the pain of a breakup?

 

No, you are not the only one. When u read around you see how many people use alcohol, party, drugs, and many other things... why we do this, idk... I just know that when I'm at my best I'm strong and it's easy to be on NC, but sometimes I want to just mess up big time, so at the end I don't feel so bad if I call my ex... so I eat very unhealthy, drink wine, and then when I feel like an insignificant piece of sh!t, that is when I allow myself to call this guy... why, again i don't know... but u aren't alone... I guess when we are doing good we know we deserve good, but sometimes when we do back we feel like now I deserve all the rejection and pain u cause me, so let me call u cus now I deserve to be treated like crap.... at least that's why i've come down to realize in my personal experience... But good for u for posting here first. You want to stay NC, so stay strong.

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