Would you ever be with the sibling of an ex?

[valdeetz1]

Has anyone here ever dated or known someone who has dated the sibling of an ex?

 

I'm not talking one night stands, casual sex or anything like that. I'm referring to having an actual relationship with the LTR ex of a sibling. I've been bothered by it, and looking at what is going on in my life, and people I know, I've known a few people that have been between siblings, but never...ones that had serious relationships.

 

IE- best friend had a casual sex relationship with guy A, but ended up with his lil bro and having a baby- though they are no longer together.

 

But if your sibling had a LTR with a person- one that ended not to long ago, wouldn't it be strange if that ex came onto you? Or you decided to date them?

 

Even if your sibling is cool with it, it would be like walking on eggshells around them, wouldnt it?

 

 

Personally I find it a huge turn off. [-( I could never be with any of my sister's ex's. It would not only be disrespectful to her, but a blow to my self esteem because I would be wondering if the guy was comparing. Plus it causes a lot of family drama.

 

IMO girls that do this are drama fueled and are trying to get back at their ex's. Or are in need of serious thearapy.

 

And I guess they're might be instances when years later it might occur and work out. But when its soon after, its just weird IMO.

 

I've also noticed when this drama happens it tends to be brothers. But I digress. Opinions? Or am I knocking the old saying 'keep it in the family' ?

[abitbroken]

Well - I would say that you can't really judge it as something that is blanket-statement bad. In most cases, I think it just would be not a smart thing, but in other cases I saw it work. In one case, a woman was left by her husband and years later married his brother. The family always loved her and it wasn't seen as a controversy at that time by anyone involved. My brother and my cousin's ex always got along well and reconnected and they really wanted to date eachother but it didn't work out because my cousin had a prob with it. Not all situations is someone trying to get back at someone.

 

as far as it happening soon after, sometimes people really realize they are in love with someone else. But by and large - no. I wouldn't do it but I know it worked out for some if the intent is not drama.

 

I guess it really doesn't matter if its a turn off to you unless a brother of your ex asks to date you. I don't think its something otherwise that you have to worry about/be offended by because its not something that happens all that often

[sweetpea03]

I would never date a siblings' ex, ever. I think out of respect for the sibling and family, you just don't go there. And I'd have a problem with a guy who moved on from one family member than jumped to the next. I just think there is something wrong with that picture. I would not even date a cousin's ex. It's just not something I would ever do.

[WockaWocka]

I've never done it, but I've sexually fantasized quite often about the brother of a guy I dated... even afterwards. In terms of a real relationship, I guess it depends a lot on how things with the first sibling went. If it was fairly casual it might be possible to make that transition but having a serious thing with both is definitely awkward. Much like an ex dating your friend I think it's considerate if they discuss it with you first.

 

You don't give many specifics -- can you explain the particular situation you're in? Or is this just hypothetical?

[valdeetz1]

mmm its not me. My ex of 6.5 is dating the ex of his brother- they dated for almost 2 years, broke up like 7 months ago and were FWB up till Thanksgiving. She never really got over him from what I saw- obsessed,FB stalking ect- but I digress.

 

Family is in an uproar about it. Brothers arent speaking anymore. From what the brother told me, me ex talked to him about it. He was cool with it up to the point 4 days later when his ex made a comment to him and then went upstairs to the open loft bedroom and slept with my ex. He said "it was a slap in the face and disrespectful." ever since then its been a family feud. first time my ex's brother has called me in over a year- we didnt get along much. but he called to vent and to tell me he thought the girl was using his brother to get back at him. He knows I love his brother a lot, so...well idk. I told him if thats what she was doing she'd eventually get bored and find other people to do. lol.

 

But I'm not saying it cant happen- Im sure there are situations that work out great. But I imagine a majority end up like this where the siblings are concerned... Focusing on healing and moving on, but the question I keep coming back to is what kind of person and or sibling would do this to family. Is it really worth it if it causes so much hardship? my family is closer I guess. It just weirded me out a lot- so I wanted unbiased- ish opinions. Not just for this situation, but any. I agree with Wocka- if its casual maybe, and discuss it first. But then again they did...so...yeah. *shrug*