X from hell!

[NANsense]

Do I need advice

 

I posted for advice on my X (and then friend) before--and received great advice on NC--which I did on my end....turned the cheek and put him and his nonsense out of my mind!

 

THEN I slipped when he made contact and pleaded for me to speak with him 4 months ago--first I ignored him--but after several messages begging me to take his call--I did](*,)

He went on for 3 hours abt how he had left his wife for the weekend, how he couldn't take his bitter marriage--or his drunkin wife any longer. That he wanted out and the first person he wanted to call and try to set things right with was yours truly...basically, my response was "good for you--we'll see what you do"

 

A few days later he asked if we could talk more--I allowed it--mostly out of curiosity....this man said everything right, about why he made the mistakes he did, about the relationship he was afraid to have and why, about his issues, all of it--right down the line......still I was skeptical--not wanting to buy bull again....

 

A week later I received a text from him--I asked him what he was doing abt his situation & his response was he was trying to help her sober up.....needless to say I blew because I bought his story--but moreso that I was sick of his drama and using whatever story he could to worm his way back.....now I see that was my own fault for allowing it in the first place--but it's hard not to have hope in ppl.

 

So, guess who I ran into a few days ago

He acted as though he had done nothing wrong--like we were two old friends running into each other & saying hello.....I refused to let it go and take it on the cuff--so I asked him how come he never had the decency to apologize for opening old wounds 4 months ago--I said we are not friends & that I took offense to him thinking we were....not when he either should have apologized or attempted to offer some type of explanation for his actions--that it was clear he was only trying to manipulate me then--for what purpose IDK--but he should seriously start taking responsibility for his actions.

 

In the end I got no apology--and it really irks me to think he could be such a major jerk--it also irks me to think he gets away with all that he does....I could go on & on here--but lets just say he had me convinced, for years, he was getting played by a drunk--I am now believing he is the one who mistreats his wife by cheating (not with me btw) and being an all around creep....and yes, I know this for a fact!

 

I feel to drop a dime on him--not just cos I am angry--but more so cos I believe he is a reckless human being and he should be exposed and have to answer to someone.

 

I could care less abt revenge--but am torn & not knowing the RIGHT thing to do here? IMO his not taking responsibility for all he said to me = he is not taking any responsibility for anything still and I have never been the sort to stand by and watch ppl do others wrong without speaking up--so I'm struggling with this.

what would you all do?

[karvala]

I think the right course of action is very clear: do absolutely nothing and have nothing further to do with him. He's an ex for a reason, and you should simply continue with your life without any regard whatsoever to him, his marriage, his wife, what he did or wants to do, etc.. It doesn't matter anymore; you've moved on, so make his punishment the complete absence of you forever more from his life. It doesn't require anything else.

[NANsense]

Thanks Karvala!

I needed that!

you're right--that obviously IS punishment for him--and what's best for me!

 

just wish he didn't keep trying to make contact--and I'm really tired of him trying to get sympathy for his poor choices--I am very caring by nature-- which makes it difficult for me to say tough you know what--but that's all he really deserves....I mean if he isn't willing to take responsibility and clean up his mess--then he should stop crying wolf!

 

It's been a while now though--that I have felt I should have ratted him out for his nonsense....partly cos I wished I had been told, years ago, when I was the one being cheated on....I've read a lot of varying opinions on the topic--some feel it's best to stay out & others feel ppl have the right to know....personally, I feel saying nothing is the same as condoning the behavior....it doesn't sit well either way

[merce79]

I think the best thing is to leave it alone. My advice is because i was the other woman being told and honestly it could be for the wost because she may feel its just you being a jealous ex. I cant say that for sure and i didnt feel that way personally but it could turn on you.