Nothisdoormat Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I really don't feel anything much when I think of my Ex except all the pain he caused me and the betrayal. The other day, I came accross more pics of him & me from times long before the breakup...i felt nothing..there was no numbness, no anger...nothing...it was just like I was looking at some old photos. Is this possible, or is there some residual anger boiling underneath waiting to come out? I am at a standstill, ENA. I can't journal about the failed relationship/my Ex or the breakup anymore and when I do, I just scribble a few lines and that's it. Instead, I find myself journaling a lot about what I want for the future and how I want to be at least 90% healed before I entertain the thought of beginning a new relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 The other day, I came accross more pics of him & me from times long before the breakup...i felt nothing..there was no numbness, no anger...nothing...it was just like I was looking at some old photos. You're doing great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncomfynumb Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I really don't feel anything much when I think of my Ex except all the pain he caused me and the betrayal. The other day, I came accross more pics of him & me from times long before the breakup...i felt nothing..there was no numbness, no anger...nothing...it was just like I was looking at some old photos. Is this possible, or is there some residual anger boiling underneath waiting to come out? I am at a standstill, ENA. I can't journal about the failed relationship/my Ex or the breakup anymore and when I do, I just scribble a few lines and that's it. Instead, I find myself journaling a lot about what I want for the future and how I want to be at least 90% healed before I entertain the thought of beginning a new relationship. Anything is possible I guess but I'd say if you felt nothing and tend to journal more about your future, you are closer to being healed than you think. I'd think about starting to date now and worry less about what lies beneath. You've learned from your experiences, you can have a healthier and better relationship the next time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love1336 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Hmm... I never thought you could be over a person completely yet not over the pain. I thought its comes together once you are over a person you are over the pain there also inflicted on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nothisdoormat Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 Hmm...Love1336 I don't know if that's up for questioning... It's like this - if, as a child you touched a hot stove & got burned, all you'll remember is you stood too close to a stove and got burned...it won't matter whether it was a GE or Maytag -- you'll remember it was an element with heat emitting from it - a stove. Years down the road, a woman may still remember the pain experienced after a divorce. It doesn't mean she is not over her Ex. You can still "feel" or remember pain and be over the person who caused it. The memory of the pain is like a defense mechanism for some - like when you start dating again and you resist getting close to your new love because of the pain you recall from the experience of being close to the old one. Make sense? Hmm... I never thought you could be over a person completely yet not over the pain. I thought its comes together once you are over a person you are over the pain there also inflicted on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nothisdoormat Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 Thanx, Snowy You're doing great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nothisdoormat Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 I guess at this point, dating could be a good idea, except I have another agenda and don't want to get into a relationship or dating anytime soon. I know it can be fun in some aspects, but I just don't want to put myself out there right now. I'm really getting some valuable insight through self-discovery...something I haven't been able to do in a long time because I've been always taking on someone else's problems, trying to dispel someone else's "demons" while my own have been running rampant and out of control. It's time to "settle the score" within, put the little girl in "time out" and move on from there. But make no mistake - I look forward to the time when I'm ready for a new relationship. When the time comes, I'll stand back and assess the situation for what it really is. But for some strange reason, I believe there's another male from the past waiting to resurface other than my Ex. (Lord, why didn't I spend more time playing double-dutch with the girls instead of football with the boys?!!!!) Anything is possible I guess but I'd say if you felt nothing and tend to journal more about your future, you are closer to being healed than you think. I'd think about starting to date now and worry less about what lies beneath. You've learned from your experiences, you can have a healthier and better relationship the next time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geekgirl4 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I think it means you're doing awesome and keep up the progress. Only time can dull those feelings of hurt from the breakup. I was absolutely betrayed by my best friend and for a long long looong time, thinking about that event would hurt. But today, I can think about it, think "damn, that sucked", and move on with no pain. You're heading in the right direction so keep on going : D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nothisdoormat Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 Thanks, everyone! It's when I hit that brick wall that I begin questioning or doubting my progress at times. Since I forgave my Ex, I've felt a great sense of relief because that was a release for me above all. I believe the gift of forgiveness propelled me along the healing path somewhat. It's a process - no mistake about that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love1336 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 =) Yes, i understand more better. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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