Sexually Frustrating GF

[lhr]

My GF of 3 years refuses to give me blowjobs. She says she hates it and it's gross, but I don't believe that's why. I'm very clean and she used to do it when we first started going out and it wasn't an issue for her.

 

Now she doesn't like going down on me and almost never does. The odd time she does do it, it doesn't last more than a minute then she stops. If I ask her to go down on me, her standard reply is: "Go down on ME!". I am happy to go down on her and do it every time. She cums every time and absolutely loves it. Then she asks for sex right away. We do it and that's it.

 

If I insist she do me first (as she never lives up to the promise) she'll usually get angry and turn away from me, as if to say "just forget it then".

 

I feel she's selfish in bed. If I bring it up later how she never goes down on me, she calls me "needy". I feel like she isn't attracted to me and it is seriously affecting my confidence and self-esteem.

 

The sex isn't much better. She pretty much just lies there. Oh, and you'd think she gives me handjobs at least. Very few, occasionally, and lasts seconds.

 

It's driving me nuts. We've been going out 3 years and it's been like this for almost a year. I don't know what else to do or say to her.

[Green Frost]

Dang! That is some serious issues! In a relationship we all like to think that things are shared equally.

However, in your case no. It seems that you're are offering more of yourself sexually then the other

partner. How about you stop giving what she likes and make her have to work for it. That includes

going down on her & giving her sex. Also, just a reminder that if things are not progressing in a relationship

then you may need a break.

 

Any other questions or problems you can PM me. Good luck.

[Calvin68]

Yikes!

Maybe if you guys get married and have kids it will get better.

And when your GF suggests this, run like the wind...

[Jd1983]

I think you should just tell her how you feel. Let her know that you're willing to do whatever means necessary to see that she is satisfied, and yet you don't feel the same way.

 

Tell her that you enjoy how she used to go down on you, and it seems as though she no longer feels the same way.

 

Sex sometimes fizzles out after awhile, but both parties have to be willing to work on it to make it work. Perhaps, you can stop going down on her for awhile, and see how she feels? Although that may not always work in your favor.

[waytoodown]

I agree with the previous post. Tell her how you feel, but in a non-judging and non-accusing way.

 

Also, it is possible that she doesn't enjoy giving blow jobs but did it when the relationship was new to please you. However, it is not okay for her to have done that in the beginning of the relationship and not continue at all now.

 

Is it possible that you might not be as clean as you think you are, and she won't tell you because she doesn't want to hurt you? Maybe try to get her to open up and discuss what it is she doesn't like, and what you guys can maybe modify for her to enjoy giving it more?

[swampyankee]

Her comment about you being "needy" is just a deflection since she knows it's an insult to a man's ego to be called that. It sounds like in the beginning, she did things she wasn't happy doing just to please you. Now that your relationship is more secure she feels as though she can be done with those unpleasantries.

IMHO, she needs to realize it's a two way street - giving to please her man as her man gives to please her. Next time she wants you to go down on her, just say, "Sure. How about we do it 69?"