bluen Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 were almost at the month marker and things are progressing nicely. I went in with no expectations or looking to define this as a relationship since I am rebuilding my life- professional, mentally and emotionally, I can say for certain that on paper, a relationship is the last thing I need on my plate right now. Nevertheless, life does happen and without getting ahead of myself, I find myself exactly where I don't want to be, falling for her. While I am trying to contain my excitement and remain level headed about all of this I am not sure how casual I can remain as we move forward. I know she came out of a muti-year relationship towards the end of last year and can't(and won't) expect anything from her right now. I am aware this could be a rebound for her but i'm better then that, not to mention she appears to interested in me for me then just sex. I know a conversation is still a premature notion at this point since nothing is definable, but as we move forward, i'm afraid i'm going to need to understand what this is. My question would be the following: is it too early to say something? is a month not a enough time? I am really ok with either.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pbsurf Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 There is a line from the Italian movie L'Avventura that I always think about when this subject comes up "whenever I have tried to communicate, love has disappeared". One month is way too early to talk about this stuff imo - Instead, take a step back, take a breath... and relax. She wants to be around you for the way you are right now. Don't change that. You sound busy and focused, stay that way. Keep yourself first at all times. This is probably what she is responding to anyway. Let things progress naturally. Keep your serious thoughts and especially your feelings for her a bit secret - for now. I am a natural talker and want to get things out in the open. I've learned that this is or can be very disruptive to a blooming relationship. It can be interpreted as clingy or needy, at the very least it may send the message that you are insecure. Actions not words right now. Have fun with her, be playful and carefree. Take her mind off of her ex as much as possible (which also means avoiding that topic like the plague, if she brings it up make a joke and change the subject... Trust me, you do not want to be her therapist) Now, I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't talk about the two of you or future plans or whatever, at some point, but one month in is way too early. (If you can, read a bit of Doc Love over at link removed. Take everything he says with a grain of salt, he can be a bit harsh, but his basic advice for new relationships is very very good in my opinion. It is all about keeping some mystery and keeping her "interest level" up, spacing out your interactions, and being a confident and secure guy) But mainly, have some fun with her. That is the best part of new relationships. Actions not words. And, congratulations... Its a nice feeling, isnt it? And when you least expect or want it, there it is. That is how this stuff works. Hope this helps. Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 is a month not a enough time? I am really ok with either.... Hey bluen, how often do you see each other each week and do you talk daily? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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