Caz04 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 So... I haven't followed the no contact thing at all. My ex and I broke up around November or October. I can't really say because we continued to talk daily and still act like we were together basically. I can see all my errors during that time now. I then went out one night to see him with another girl who he has been seeing now about a month. I don't really talk to him that much anymore he will text me or I will text him when I need to ask him a question or something. I will admit I have sent some pretty sad texts about how I still loved him over the past month. But, he always responds to me and never says get over it we are done..etc. He always says there is still a chance for us but he has a gf?? So when we were texting the other night he said that he wanted to meet up because he thinks he is still in love with me and he doesn't want to continue his relationship if he still has feelings for me. So, initially I was excited and like sure we can meet. But, now I am having reservations... I went thru hell and back to get over this guy and i am actually doing good now. I don't want him to swoop back in and send my heart on a roller coaster again just for him to end up staying with his gf?! What should I do? Or how should i act during this meeting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWEET_J Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I believe this guy is being selfish. You are broken up, and he is with someone else. He is using you to GET OVER you, if that makes any sense. I personally would NOT meet up with him. In fact I would end any contact with him now and focus on moving on. It is not fair that he is already with another girl and talking to you for 'support' on the side. He cannot have it both ways. And he should not have to 'meet up' with you to know if he has feelings for you....either he does or he doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandymay1977 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 To me, if your having reservations, that could be a little voice saying "Don't do it" if you are feeling better and don't feel you could cope with it a second time round, don't. If you need more time to decide how you feel, stall him off with "Something important has come up" and reschedule to buy yourself some more time to think. Also it's a bit sad what his doing to his current girlfriend, meeting with you to see if he still loves you when she thinks his with him??? Sounds a bit Dodgy and underhanded to me and if his capable of doing it to her...what makes you any different when he decides he might want someone else, sounds like his trying to keep his options open. I wouldn't let him, I'ld let him live with the choices his already made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 How will you feel if you don't see him and that is the only chance you will have? If you can deal with that possibility then don't see him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz04 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Yes, I think my reservations were right that it was a bad idea. I am going to start no contact. It is just going to be HARD because I still love im very much!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz04 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 DN- Him and I live in a very small town. I am best friends with his sister ha. So I am sure I will see him again but to sneak around and see me when he has a girlfriend.. I just don't feel comfortable with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
april15 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Caz, NC sounds like the right way to go here. He wants to play games. You do not have to participate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz04 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Thanks April its just SO HARDDDDD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 DN- Him and I live in a very small town. I am best friends with his sister ha. So I am sure I will see him again but to sneak around and see me when he has a girlfriend.. I just don't feel comfortable with. OK - then go no contact - if he dumps the girlfriend and contacts you then you can consider what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shuttlefish Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 "Ex wants to meet and see if he still loves me?" God, and I thought job interviews were nerve wracking!!! I know if it were me, I wouldn't go. OP, I think you've put up with enough here and you should walk away. Maybe he will follow you, who knows? but you need to stop doing what it is you are doing and seize your own destiny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Popsicle Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Agree! I actually think this is really disrespectful. Meet up, so what, you can be on your best behaviour and he can decide if you're good enough for him ,to see if HE wants you,rather than the other girl? (who is sitting probably knowing none of this?) I think you are doing well healing from this, and you are better than being someones 'just in case' Like shuttlefish says 'seize your own destiny'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz04 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 You guys are very right! I deserve better. I think my BIGGEST problem is putting my ex on a pedestal like he is perfect, but he is far from it. I told him today no more contact, if he wants to be with me he needs to break up with his girlfriend. he can contact me if that is the case and we will go from there. He responded with "k" (which he knows drives me crazy) but I didn't respond to it.. DAY ONE-NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
april15 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Wow, he was pushing your buttons to the end. Unless he wants to make major changes in his attitude towards you and relationships I would say it is the end. Take time and things will get better. When you are more removed from the situation you will see it much more clearly and do better next time. Look forward find things to do that are for you and your betterment. We've all been there, it IS very hard but it will get easier and you will be stronger and better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nothisdoormat Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 But, now I am having reservations... I went thru hell and back to get over this guy and i am actually doing good now. I don't want him to swoop back in and send my heart on a roller coaster again just for him to end up staying with his gf?! What should I do? Or how should i act during this meeting? You should act like you have no intentions of going to this "meeting" and then DO NOT go. Hell & back should be one trip too many for this guy. You don't need hell again. He's selfish, immature, egotistical and some other adjectives that escape my grasp at the moment. Don't give him an ego stroke or validation. Things are probably 'going south' with him and his new love so he wants you to stroke his ego and make him feel good. But what do you get out of the deal? You're going to be walking into frustration, confusion and a major setback to your progress. Is this meeting with your Ex really worth losing the peace & acceptance you've gained? If he's with another woman then you must be the woman of dignity and not meet this clown. He was probably seeing her before your breakup and now the green grass is wilting. Now, he has the nerve to ask to see you so he can determine IF he's still in love with you?!!! As another poster stated, it's not that difficult - either he loves you or he doesn't. It's not a mystery, and he doesn't need to meet with you to figure it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Either he has feelings for you or he doesn't. I really don't see the need to have to see you in person for him to make that decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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