Evillink88 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I have been with my girlfriend for 3 1/2 years. We're 27 and 25 respectively. She is my first girlfriend and we are in a serious but long distance relationship. Sometimes I wish I could have sex with other women because I lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I never slept with any over women. Is it natural to have these feelings? Sometimes I just want to have sex with another woman just once and she wouldn't have to know. I want to know what it feels like to have sex with other women. This is the woman I want to marry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callacova Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Sounds like you're not ready for marriage, nor do you love her. What's going to happen is you'll find out that the act is the same for the new girl, but its the emotional aspect that's different. I think that you should get your feelings in check, or leave your gf so you can run around and do whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodc5 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 It's normal to have these thoughts and you have ONLY 2 morally correct choices from here: 1. Stay with your girlfriend. All too often do people ask questions of this topic on this form to leave their SO in order to pursue other relationships and wild fun. Many people also end up regretting their decision for leaving a great relationship when they realize the single life really isn't all that great and their ex won't take them back. 2. Break up with your girlfriend and pursue other people, have fun, experiment, etc. without cheating on her. You need to THOROUGHLY examine your relationship and decide whether or not this truly is the person you want to marry. If she is, you know to stay with her. If not, then leave her and do your own thing. For her sake, please do not cheat on her. My advice is that if she really is that great, don't leave her. You'll probably just regret it later. But if you aren't fully invested in her, she deserves to be free to find someone who will invest themselves whole heartedly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyNinja Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I agree. If these feelings are overpowering you and it's all you think and wonder about, I think it would only be fair to your girlfriend if you release her. If this is someone you want to marry and you are serious about, then these other feelings should not exist (at least not to the point where you may act on them). It's contradictory. Maybe you should have some time to yourself to examine your feelings and experiment on whatever is eating at you. Until we meet again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilliesFan001 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I think if you've only slept with one woman, it's natural to be curious about sex with other women. That doesn't mean that you're going to act on it, they're only thoughts. However if the thoughts get to be too much, or to the point where you're contemplating cheating/are unhappy in your sexual relationship, that's when you need to make a decision about staying with her or sleeping with other girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaintWithLight Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 You got in way over your head here. There are several things that are not working for you. You have only been with one woman and got locked into 3.5 years with her when you should have been dating around and seeing what is out there. Also, you are in a LDR and that has its own set of challenges. Breakup with your gf and stay single for a year without commitments. Date as many girls as you feel you want to then pick someone great to have a relationship with. Your 20s are a great time to explore and discover what you want in a partner. YOu will never feel happy when you lock yourself into a marriage mindset with the first woman who said 'yes'. It sounds like you need to explore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 what about mixing it up with your gf. Try kinky things. Be spontaneous, etc. when people say often they wish they had sex with otehrs they often mean that they want variety and your SO can give you that with good communication. If you have a wonderful relationship otherwise, I would try it and not say that you shouldn't be with her just because she is your first and it feels wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d24 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 it is natural to have these thoughts, especially since she is your first and only. but please .... whatever you decide to do, don't cheat on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I think if you've only slept with one woman, it's natural to be curious about sex with other women. That doesn't mean that you're going to act on it, they're only thoughts. However if the thoughts get to be too much, or to the point where you're contemplating cheating/are unhappy in your sexual relationship, that's when you need to make a decision about staying with her or sleeping with other girls. I agree on both counts. If you sleep with another woman telling yourself (as you said above) that she wouldn't have to know, not only are you undermining your relationship and your gf's feelings for you but you are setting a precedent. You do it once and get away with it, you may well be tempted to do it again. If it really is something you feel you need to do the right thing and end the relationship first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacob86 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I'm in the exact (and I mean EXACT: age, long distance, feelings about marriage) same situation, except I've had sex with 6 others before my current girlfriend. I do not think that it really changes the situation though. after 10 girls, I think you will still feel the same way. My sex drive is very high and I constantly, every day think about having sex with others. It breaks my heart to know that my girlfriend does not and devotes all of herself to me, because no matter what, I KNOW that I love her more than anything in this world and the last thing I want to see, is her being sad or heartbroken. I also have the problem that I don't want to spend a lot of time webcamming with her, even though we live in two different countries. I want to be with her most of the time and I want her here with me, but the whole thing about sitting in front of the computer talking to her, when I could be out doing other things, is not very tempting. I don't know what to do either, because either way, we both loose. I love her so much and my life would fall apart without her. I really hope you've found a solution, because this really isn't easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ljion Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I think you will still feel the same way. My sex drive is very high and I constantly, every day think about having sex with others. It breaks my heart to know that my girlfriend does not and devotes all of herself to me, because no matter what, I KNOW that I love her more than anything in this world and the last thing I want to see, is her being sad or heartbroken. Me too haha i feel the same way. But it think what it is that cuz we are all in long distance relationships we are so tempted. If my gf was here i would not be as tempted as i am to have sex with other women. LDR is hard.. If the distance ends and you still are very tempted then u may have to do some hard thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted March 23, 2013 Share Posted March 23, 2013 You've only had sex one girl and that's not a bad thing, because once/if you have sex with multiple women you'll realize that at the end of the day, sex is just sex. What makes it all the more better is the person that you have sex with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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