KittyBoo Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I had been with my ex-husband for 14 years (25 - 39 years old) when we broke up. Was on my own for 8 months when I met someone and we dated for 2 years before he ended it. I have now been on my own for 14 months and feel like I am ready to move forward and try to meet someone new. I have posted a profile on an online dating site but nothing has come of it so far. I think that is in part due to my fear of getting hurt again. I have a difficult time when meeting new people. I don't know what to talk about and since I don't have any interests that I am passionate about, I worry that they will thnk I am boring. This in turn makes me hold back because I am afraid of being rejected. I have also gained a bit of weight due to medication I am on so I don't feel attractive. It's not a lot of weight but enough to make me uncomfortable in my own skin. I am attracted to guys who are attactive and in shape and think that they will want the same thing in their partner so I come up with reasons to convince myself to not even try. I have never "dated" really. I had my first boyfriend at 19 years old and then went out with one other guy for 3 months before I met my ex-husband. The two men I was with in the last 18 years (includes my ex husband) were exclusive right from the beginning. I am afraid of the getting to know you stage and want to be right at the comfortable with each other stage. Can you give me some advice on how to give myself the push I need to get out there and to start meeting guys and going on some dates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ut804 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 just do it! dating can be fun and exciting, maybe you'll meet someone great and you'll be glad you did it. he could be waiting for you right now, out there somewhere. and if you get hurt, well at least you got some different experiences with meeting new people and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 You don't have to dive into dating head first, you usually get a concussion that way Instead, I think you should take babysteps toward your direction of travel and as you get a little more comfortable, start stepping it up a little bit. Build your confidence first before you just walk into the mine field. Don't feel discouraged, I have a bit of that same fear. I really would like to meet someone, but I'll admit sometimes I'm fearful of being hurt or led down a path of confusion and dissappointment eventually leading to heartache and worst of all trouble - which is what I don't need. And a lot of young women I meet just don't seem to have it together. I keep trying though, I don't give up. I just try to get smarter through the years to avoid some of the same mistakes I used to make earlier on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittyBoo Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 I keep flip flopping from feeling confident and wanting to grab the bull by the horns and then talking myself out of it by telling myself all of the reasons why they won't like me! I definitely need to do some work on the self talk because obviously if I want to meet a great guy who is confident and fun to be with then I need to be those things myself as well. I don't want my insecurities to ruin my chances of meeting a potential partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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